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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Don't know how to go back to work

    Hi!

    I think I've got a problem and I'm not sure, what to do.

    My DD is 7 months now. I am breastfeeding and co-sleeping. I am also with her 24/7. DH helps a lot in the evening but mainly with housework. I've never left her with anyone except with DH and only when she was having a nap. We hardly go out, as I am worried about DD. If we do go out, I always make sure, we go between her naps so she doesn't get tired and starts getting fussy, etc. But to be honest I just don't khow, what I would do, if we are in public and she gets tired and cranky. I am so used to the routine at home. She gets tired, I breastfeed her and she goes to sleep. No fuss, no stress.

    So my problem is what I am going to do, when I have to go back to work in January? Will I ever be able to leave her with someone else? How is she going to go to sleep without me? My mum is overseas. I can't even imagine leaving my baby with my MIL or in child care. But one day I will have to.

    Has anyone else had to deal with it? My biggest concern is, how is she going to nap without me breastfeeding her?

    Before I had DD I thought I will be back at work in six months. I never thought it's going to be so hard. Is is normal to feel this way?

  2. #2
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    I'm not going to be much help, but do you have to go back to work? Can you extend your leave at all?
    I was in the same position when my DD was 11 months still Breastfeeding and needing me there for her to sleep. I was due to go back to work but my work wouldn't allow me to come back part time and there was no way I could go back full time so I resigned. It has been very hard financially since then but I wasn't stressed out about DD.
    I was/am an incredibily anxious mum but it does get easier to leave them with other people. My DD is now 2 and I recently left her overnight with her dad and had a night away with friends, 1st time ever! I never believed it would get easier but it does!
    Goodluck

  3. #3
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    I would suggest that you start seriously considering your childcare options now and start easing yourself into it. Take it slow so it doesn't stress you out. With her sleep, maybe try other settling techniques, get hubby to do some settling in preparation. Good luck

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Cue For This Useful Post:

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  5. #4
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    I had to go back to work 1 day a week when my dd was 7 months. It killed me and I cried many times over it S she was just so used to being around me & havIng the breast to settle her. I work in admin in childcare & had no family to look after her so had to put her in. I put her in that one day a week 4 weeks before I actually started so that I could ease her into it and pick her up at any time. I also went in for a 'play' on another day of the week but I stayed with her on that day (so on a Friday her & I went in and played in the babies room with the other kids & talked to her teachers which helped her to get used to the room more) The first day she just stayed by herself for 2 hours. The next time she stayed for about 4hrs and I gradually increasedit until she was there from 8.30 - 11.30 then I had 30 mins lunch break to feed her then back at work from 12-3pm. It was very hard for the first few weeks and I never actually left her in the centre without me, I just sad in the staff room and sulked lol. Do you have to go back full time or how many days will you be doing? It was quite hard for the first 2 months as she was so young and I felt bad leaving her there without a bottle (we don't use them at all) so she had to go 3hrs with no breastmilk (only water in various sippy cups/drink bottles which she didn't understand how to use at first) Anyways good luck & let us know how you go.

  6. #5
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    Sorry I should add that her carers were really understanding and would rock her to sleep (which she would never accept at home!) and they let her sleep in the portacot or cushions in the classroom rather than in the 'cot room' which is where some children are left to CIO on parents requests If you end up having to go to a centre or family day care then make sure you find somewhere with caring teachers that will work with your daughters needs not just expect her to be like every other child. My dd is fine there now (now 11mths) cries a little bit when I leave but I call the room 5 mins after I leave and age is playing and having fun

  7. #6
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    You poor thing I remember feeling that way when I went back to work. Dd had just turned 1 and I was breastfeeding/ cosleeping/ feeding to sleep... I was so anxious about how she would sleep without me but she had absolutely no problems at all. The girls at day are were pretty thorough in learning what her routines were and they cuddled her to sleep for the first month or so. To my absolute shock, she then started to go to sleep for them in a COT by herself with just a song and a pat on the back!! She never does it for me. I am still breastfeeding and cosleeping and feeding to sleep and she is almost 2! She goes to daycare 4 days a week and sleeps perfectly for them without a feed but when she's home with me she feeds to sleep! When she first started I would give her a big feed in the morning and then in the afternoon she would almost crawl down my top to get a drink! The first 3-4 months she cried every day when I left her and it was absolutely heartbreaking but then one day she waved at me. Then from then on she was happy to go! Good luck with everything op! Sorry if my post is a bit all over the place- I'm currently boobing dd to sleep as I type!

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    Default Good luck

    My advice would be that the boob is not the be all and end all. Bubs get used to being settled by the boob if that is the only option we give them. Start de-boobing now: don't feed bub to sleep. Always put them to bed drowsy. Have hubby give 1 bottle (expressed if needed) per day. It may take a few days for bub to get used to this, don't give up. Try other techniques to help bub self settle: use a comforter with your smell, throw out dummies etc.Get hubby involved! Get Nanna involved! Get your bff involved!! Your bub is capable of being settled by others you just have to give bub the Chance.

  9. #8
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    Default Thank you

    @misscheekysmum: Thank you. It’s good to know that it gets easier.

    @Cue: Thank you. I really have to look into different settling techniques.

    @Karenjanef: Thank you. I have to go back three days a week. I was going to pump, so she can still have breast milk while I’m at work. It’s good that you did it slowly. I just hate thinking that I have to leave her with someone else. And you mention CIO on parents request. I don’t know how people can do it. I think it’s just cruel.

    @wannaBamumma: Thank you. You just gave me so much hope! My baby never sleeps in her cot. Wow, I hope that I can find a day care with good carers as you did.

    @VicPark: Thank you. I remember that when DD was just born we tried to rock her to sleep and DH took I few times over but it took us hours and lots of crying just to get her to sleep for a few hours. And then we had to start all over again. That’s why I started breastfeeding to sleep and it was/is soooo easy, especially when she wakes up for a night feed. It just seems impossible at the moment to stop it. But it makes sense what you are saying.


 

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