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  1. #1
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    Default Finding out the gender in 2nd pregnancy

    Just having a little vent. Alot of people seem to think we should find out the gender of our bub as it is our 2nd pregnancy. Some say its to we can prepare if it isn't the gender we want. I've tried explaining that we aren't worried what gender we have, we just a want a healthy bub. Others say its so we can prepare clothes etc if its the opposite to what we have already.
    I just find it very frustrating that people seem to think they have the right to tell us what we should do.
    Rant over :-)

  2. #2
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    i didnt find out the second time..i loved the surprise, its so sad that so many ppl now are obsessed with gender and assume ppl cant be happy if they have children of the same gender hence "prepare yourself" comments....and i mean prepare for what...a few pink or blue outfits?? my DD has worn some of her brothers suits and blue is definately her best colour!!! yep dont get it either

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    adearl  (23-09-2012)

  4. #3
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    We didnt find out either pregnancy

    I think people project their own gender desires onto others and i really hate it!

    We just told people, if we have another boy, then we are set.

    If we have a girl, we have enough neutral clothes to see us through.

    Newborns don't need much and maybe just tell people, that the gender is really irrelevant as a baby of either will be loved and whats happening in the nappy department isn't so important!

    Congrats!

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    adearl  (23-09-2012)

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    We didnt find out with our first but we did find out with this baby. And, it didnt matter to us what gender the baby was. We actually gave my partners' dad the choice to find out as he has terminal cancer. We thought it was a nice gift to offer him and he was very excited.

    I didnt mind either way... part of me wanted to leave it a surprise but I understood how much the family is so happy about our baby and we knew he would want to know the gender of his grandbaby if he were to pass away before she was born.

    Im not sure if this makes sense, but it did to us.

    But that is the only reason we found out. It wasnt to be disappointed or say that the baby had to be one gender or another.

    I say, do what feels right for you. I do think there is alot of pressure for everyone to find out- it seems to be the second thing people say. "oh congratulations! Do you know what youre having!".

    Anyway just thought Id throw my 2 cents in there.

    Best wishes xoxoxox

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    adearl  (23-09-2012)

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    Yep, I'm preg with #2 and ppl are surprised when we say we're not finding out the gender (didn't with DS either). Gender makes no difference to us and we like the surprise . We got a few neatural things before DS was born which we can use again for newby. If it's another boy we will be set, if it's a girl we will get new things or she can make do with a few blue onesies in the first few weeks - not a big deal! I think ppl automatically assume you want the opposite gender to your first when your preg with your second, hence the 'needing to prepare' comments.

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    adearl  (23-09-2012)

  10. #6
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    I don't know what I'm having 2nd pregnancy. Only 3 weeks to go yay. Anyway, everyone assumes we want a boy. I'm sure DH would love a boy and I'd be happy with one of each but I'd love a sister for DD too. The whole 'pigeon pair' thing annoys me. People have even said well have to have 3 if it's another girl. Ummmm no we don't. Each child is different regardless of their gender. Anyway, I love a surprise. I think people just get annoyed that they have to wait to find out what you're having as well. Well they can all wait!!

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    adearl  (23-09-2012)

  12. #7
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    KCT - exactly the same here. We didn't find out either time, the surprise was amazing for number 1 and im looking forward to finding out in 6 weeks what this one is.We have a DD and everyone comments that i must really want a boy this time, pigeon pair etc. In all honesty id love another girl for DD, hubby would love a son, so either way we win in my eyes! It essentially makes no difference!

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    adearl  (24-09-2012)

  14. #8
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    Thank you ladies. It is soo nice to know there are others who think the same way and Hopefully Waiting I can completely understand your reason to tell your partners dad. I think that was a beautiful thing to do for him.
    Yes we get the same comments about a pigeon pair. I still haven't worker out why that (in other people's eyes) is better than two of one gender.

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    We didn't find out with ds and i think it annoyed other people because they just wanted to know that's all.Second tome i want suprise too and i know that will annoy the family again cuz they want to know! Haha its fun to torture them with it so i turn all the comments around saying they are just frustrated for themselves not my issue and o keep plodding along happily.Try to ignore silly comments i know its hard when ur pregnant and u cop it at every turn

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    adearl  (27-09-2012)

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    We found out with number 2 because DS (aged 4 at the time) was adamant he was having a brother. His heart was set on it. I felt I was having a girl so we found out and sure enough we were having a girl. I then had the rest of the pregnancy to 'talk up' girls and convince DS how great sisters are. At first DS was upset but after a few weeks he came around and towards the end he was even letting people know he was having a sister (and she won't touch my lego, and she will like baking cakes and she won't want to play all my boy games). Now of course he calls her 'his little princess' and loves her to bits

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