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  1. #11
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    Please let us know how you go OP. He should never have put you in this position.

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    Rutabaga  (22-09-2012)

  3. #12
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    There seems to be a few stories like this on BH...

    What the hell is wrong with these doctors?

    Stop trying to be polite. You don't have to be rude, but you can be straight forward.

    He is counting on women to stay 'polite' so he can continue his games, and perhaps push them into something they don't want to be doing.

    Hugs - Simply state 'no thank you. I don't feel it's appropriate to hug' (or something similar)

    Flirty/sussing you out kind of talk - 'Bite the bullet. Just say ' Why are you so interested in my future plans?'. If he acts hurt/coy then just state 'I find it strange when men, other then my Husband, seem to want to make plans with me'.

    Then state you are leaving and 'see you next time', just to keep it light.

    But in reality... Speak to the practice manager.

    And if you are feeling guilty/dirty/confused, know that it is ok to feel this way, but that it is the doctors fault. He should not have put you in that position. He is at fault.

    Try alter those feelings to being upset at the doctors behaviour. I am just noting this, as this circumstance could be interpreted as a form of sexual abuse. And these are the types of feelings that can occur.

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    BornToBe  (27-09-2012),Ellymoe  (23-09-2012),Rutabaga  (22-09-2012)

  5. #13
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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond so supportively.

    I've talked it over with my colleagues and they've agreed to accompany our clients to appts were possible. We're also looking into getting the eligible ones into another practise, because it IS odd behavior.

    I will make an appt to talk to the GP, and let him know that it feels inappropriate to be in that situation. I was going to wait for a while, so it didn't seem to be a big deal, but on further thinking have decided that it would have more impact coming soon after this last incident. I'm not sure what I'll say, exactly, but trust that I'll find the right words at the time. Also tossing up taking a friend with me, to keep me on track and make sure I actually say what needs to be said without getting all soft and no big dealing when we're face to face.

    I find it amazing that this is so hard to do, when I'm known for being very forthright when advocating for other people!

    One more question, would you tell your partner before or after dealing with it? I'd rather not tell him at all (surprise), which is always a sure sign that it's something he needs to know about! He is very protective, and would want to know, but is working away so would feel helpless and angry, which is why I'd prefer to have it all neatly sorted before telling him. Blardy dr, putting me in this position!

  6. #14
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi, if you can have it all sorted while your hubby is away, then do that. Tell him about it when he is back home with you. Dont tell him while he is away, because as you said he will be upset, and unable to do anything, so that will be pointless. Perhaps make a group decision that you will always have a 'partner' for the visists with this doctor, it would be best to have the your clients supported and be on guard for any unprofessional actions by this doctor. Marie.
    Last edited by SuperGranny; 24-09-2012 at 10:53.

  7. #15
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    Sorry - you need to forget about the weirdness with client visits if you leave - I'd be finding myself a new GP quick smart! My feeling is his behaviour will just get worse...

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    Rutabaga  (24-09-2012)

  9. #16
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    Great advice so far! I would definately bring a friend with you so you have a witness and some support.

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    Rutabaga  (24-09-2012)

  11. #17
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    oh my!! im so sorry you are in this position. what a sleaze bag. you live in darwin dont you? eek hope its not the one i see. thankfully i dont drive so hubby has to take me to the docs and usually sits in there with me. do you have a close friend or relly that can go with you to these apps. hope everything goes well with the confrontation.

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    Rutabaga  (24-09-2012)

  13. #18
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    Report him to the medical board- it's illegal for a GP to do this. You can bet you are not the first female he has done this to or hte last. Without this type of thing on record somewhere then it may as well not have happened and you need a records for anything to happen. Dr's should not make you feel uncomfortable!

    I had an expereince when I was 19 and I never acted on but I wish I had - a male GP who was doing a Pap smear - offered a breast check and told me I had nice breasts, offered my medication to clear the spots on my face as I had a pretty face, and then when I was all dressed and ready to leave he said he forgot to do the STI swabs and I had to get undressed all over again!!!!! I couldn't get out of there fast enough in the end!

    Ask not to see him when you need to go to that clinic. You could email your the clinic manager first - hteh Dr never needs to know it was you who made the complaint.

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    Rutabaga  (24-09-2012)

  15. #19
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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    Alright, I hadn't made an appt to see him cos I've just got too much else to deal with emotionally, but it was a priority for next week.

    Today is my embryo transfer day, and I've been so positive and happy about this one, just had a feeling, you know? I got a text while in the waiting room, didn't know the number but assumed it was a friend cos it asked if I'd found my phone. Sent back yeah, finally. While the tf was being done i got a msg, assumed it was dp and got the warm and fuzzies. Checked msg when I got to the car, and it was same unknown with when are you free? Finally clicked who it was, and all my happy transfer vibes ****ed off, just like that.

    I spent 1 1/2 hrs pacing around Casuarina shops in a daze. doing absolutely sweet FA except stress about him, and having to talk to him straight away cos I can't keep worrying he'll try to contact me. Then I'd stress cos I was stressing, and get ****ed off that I was doing that to my bub and scared that it would affect implantation, then guilty cos I'd make myself breathe and calm but would start straight up again, and I hate to say it, I even worried my pacing would jiggle the embryo out. So it was a pretty good cycle I had myself in

    Theeen I got cranky. And I've been doing a good cranky lately, cos I'm on steroids for IVF. How DARE he do this to me and my bub? I just don't care about anything except bub sticking right now, so decided other people can worry about everything else. Sent him a text, saying no more contact, at all. Will think about what I want to do reporting wise next week, not feel like I have to do it now, and a bad citizen for not. Will more than likely contact the practice manager and possibly the health complaints commission. Not freaking on, dr!!! How dare you make a patient feel dirty and scared

    ETA going to stroll through a baby shop and soak up the happy baby vibes now.
    Last edited by Rutabaga; 26-09-2012 at 17:35.

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  17. #20
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    what an a$§hat (there are so many other words i can think of right now) i am so so very sorry he has put you in this position please report him quick smart, the longer you leave it the more he will continue to get away with it (delaying might affect him getting in trouble)

    fingers crossed that your transfer is successful and you get a sticky bubba big hugs hun

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