+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    87
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0

    Default Unplanned pregnancy - need support

    Hi, I recently found out I am pregnant with my second baby. this was unplanned and has come as quite a shock to my partner and I. I initially was scared, angry, upset and Depressed about being in
    This position but after knowing for
    A week I am coming to terms with it and falling in love with my baby already. I do however keep changing my mind - I am only 19, a full time student and finding it tough raising a very head strong two year old boy going through his terrible twos! I am wondering how I would cope and keep feeling an array of negative emotions. My partner is supportive if I keep the baby, although he feels like it is a bad time for us and is thinking he wants me to abort the baby and wait a few years until we are further in life. He has a good job and is great to my son and I already, but I am feeling like I don't want to put pressure on him by keeping the baby if he isn't
    Fully ready. But I don't think I could live happily knowing I got rid of it. Although I am scared I know I am excited deep down.
    Please no judgement. I am lookin for words of encouragement about handling a toddler in his terrible two stage, with a new baby and completing my studies. Have any of you been In this situation, how did you cope, did your partner warm up to the idea of an unplanned pregnancy, and is it possible to create a good career whilst being a mother to two? Did your second child make kt harder, or easier? I somehow think after the first year and a bit, it would be easier as my son would have someone to play with.
    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Firstly ... . I can't even begin to imagine what you wold be going through right now. All I can suggest is do what feels right for you. Could you live with yourself if you aborted? Could you live with yourself if you didn't? Weigh up what is most important to you right now. Best of luck with your decision.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    269
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0
    Oh Miah! what a difficult time for you, I completely understand.
    I was 19 when I had my first child, I fell pregnant to a man (I use the term loosely) after just 6 weeks of knowing him. we broke up and made up so many times that I am not even sure if we were together when Tiana was born or not! I was not as lucky as you are to have a wonderful partner. I booked the appointment to abort but I chickened out at the last minute.

    I finally put an end to our relationship one week before Tiana's first birthday. On her first birthday though I followed a gut feeling and took a test. I was pregnant with a 2nd child, 20 years old and on my own with a toddler already! (gosh I am getting tears in my eyes remembering the emotion! damn these hormones!) Once again I considered abortion but decided that I would keep the baby and raise it on my own with Tiana.

    Miah it was not easy having a 18 month old and a newborn baby, lets be honest with ourselves, it would not be easy if you were 30 and doing it either. I reminded myself every day that millions of women do this every day there is no reason why I can't.

    I was on my own for 7 years with Tiana and Kailey. I worked and studied to make a better life for us all and setting an example to the girls that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I think it was easier having two children to keep each other busy whilst I studied to be honest.

    There is a happy ever after to all this. I am now 31 am with the most amazing man two beautiful girls whom I doubt I would be the woman I am today without them. I own my own home and am quiet high up in the public service with a degree. We are expecting our first child together in April.

    I came from being a 19 year old single mum in a housing comission home, with next to no support, I will never forget that and will never take my life for granted.

    All I can tell you is what I wish someone told me when I was 19. 'You will be ok.' you will get through all of this and your son is going to make an awesome big brother. you have a partner who obviously loves you and you can continue to study whilst pregnant and after the baby is born. You'll simply start your carrer a little later than you originally thought

    Good luck Miah
    Last edited by Bindi81; 21-09-2012 at 14:59.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bindi81 View Post
    Oh Miah! what a difficult time for you, I completely understand.

    I was 19 when I had my first child, I fell pregnant to a man (I use the term loosely) after just 6 weeks of knowing him. we broke up and made up so many times that I am not even sure if we were together when Tiana was born or not! I was not as lucky as you are to have a wonderful partner. I booked the appointment to abort but I chickened out at the last minute.

    I finally put an end to our relationship one week before Tiana's first birthday. On her first birthday though I followed a gut feeling and took a test. I was pregnant with a 2nd child, 20 years old and on my own with a toddler already! (gosh I am getting tears in my eyes remembering the emotion! damn these hormones!) Once again I considered abortion but decided that I would keep the baby and raise it on my own with Tiana.

    Miah it was not easy having a 18 month old and a newborn baby, lets be honest with ourselves, it would not be easy if you were 30 and doing it either. I reminded myself every day that millions of women do this every day there is no reason why I can't.

    I was on my own for 7 years with Tiana and Kailey. I worked and studies to make a better life for us all and setting an example to the girls that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I think it was easier having two children to keep each other busy whilst I studied to be honest.

    There is a happy ever after to all this. I am now 31 am with the most amazing man two beautiful girls whom I doubt I would be the woman I am today without them. I own my own home and am quiet high up in the public service with a degree. We are expecting our first child together in April.

    I came from a 19 year old single mum in a housing commission home, I will never forget that and will never take my life for granted
    I finally put an end to our relationship one week before Tiana's first birthday. On her first birthday though I followed a gut feeling and took a test. I was pregnant with a 2nd child, 20 years old and on my own with a toddler already! (gosh I am getting tears in my eyes rememebring the emotion! damn these hormones!) Once again I considered abortion but decided that I would keep the baby and raise it on my own with Tiana.

    Miah it was not easy having a 18 month old and a newborn baby, lets be honest with ourselves, it would not be easy if you were 30 and doing it either. I reminded myself every day that millions of women do this every day there is no reason why I can't.

    I was on my own for 7 years with Tiana and Kailey. I worked and studies to make a better life for us all and setting an example to the girls that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I think it was easier having two children to keep each other busy whilst I studied to be honest.

    There is a happy ever after to all this. I am now 31 am with the most amazing man two beautiful girls whom I doubt I would be the woman I am today without them. I own my own home and am quiet high up in the public service with a degree. We are expecting our first child together in April.

    I came from a 19 year old single mum in a housing comission home, I will never forget that and will never take my life for granted.

    All I can tell you is what I wish someone told me when I was 19. You will be ok. you will get through all of this and your son is going to make an awesome big brother. you have a partner who obviously loves you and you can continue to study whilst pregnant and after the baby is born. You'll simply start your carrer a little later than you originally thought

    Good luck Miah
    Wow .. you are officially my new hero ..

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to FirstTimeMummy2012 For This Useful Post:

    Bindi81  (21-09-2012)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    269
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Wow .. you are officially my new hero ..
    Sorry I din't mean for there to be such an essay! it would help if I didnt have a double up in my post!

    I just want Miah to know that things do work out in the end. but you have to make it happen not just sit and wait for these things to be handed to you
    Last edited by Bindi81; 21-09-2012 at 14:56.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bindi81 View Post
    Sorry I ddin't mean for there to be such an essay! I just want Miah to know that things do work out in the end. but you have to make it happen not just sit and wait for these things to be handed to you
    Oh no it was a fantastic read and I loved every word you wrote. Your story is very inspiring and left me floored by your bravery

  8. #7
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    4,125
    Thanks
    1,810
    Thanked
    1,694
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Our first and second were unplanned, my partner was 18 when I got pg with the first and 20 with the second, they are 21 mths apart. I was completely gutted when I realised I was pg both times and my boyfriend wanted me to terminate. Like you, once I got my head around it, I knew I wanted to keep the baby both times and would make it work. I was a bit older (I'm 4 yrs older than him) but since having them I have gotten my degree and started another. We have also gone onto to have three more kids. It's been hard at times but I've never, not even for a split second wondered if I made the right choice.

    Follow your heart

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    239
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    I think you answered your own question when you said that you are already falling in love with your baby. You can do this and you won't regret it. You have a good man there willing to support and love you no matter what you decide. Good luck.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    337
    Thanks
    400
    Thanked
    149
    Reviews
    1
    Just remember, abortion and keeping the baby are not your only options.

    Adoption is an option, one which you can take a long time to make, if you wish.

    Whatever you decide, make sure you are at peace with the decision. There is no right or wrong. Just what you want.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    87
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you all so much. Means a Lot to have replies assuring me I am not the only one! Last night I told my partner I was keeping it, and let's just say his reaction was not what I was hoping for. Initially he was shocked that he'd be having a baby - then he told me he couldn't do it and I need to not be selfish and just think about myself, he wanted me to get rid of it and turned really angry. It was quite upsetting and I was in complete shock with his reaction as it wasn't a reaction that seemed like he loved and supported me! But within an hour he ended up crying and apologizing to me and we talked about it and he tells me he will put his career on hold and goals on hold to support me. So it looks like we will be having a baby! I calculated i will be due on 29th may 2013. My son will be three and a half by then so I am
    Hoping that his tantrum stage may have improved. I plan to continue my studies through my pregnancy. Now I just have the worry of family and friends reactions, coming up with the money to buy everything (Can you believe I just sold all my baby gear only a few months ago!) this ks still scary for me and I am still feeling saddened by the life change, but I love motherhood and I know it will work out. Thank yoy xxx


 

Similar Threads

  1. Unplanned pregnancy - please help!!
    By Pesca77 in forum Maternity & Parental Leave
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 27-07-2012, 00:12
  2. If you've had an unplanned pregnancy....
    By Teley in forum Contraception issues
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 17-05-2012, 18:08
  3. Unplanned pregnancy - confused
    By mumtobe36yo in forum Support for unplanned pregnancies
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-04-2012, 18:29

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!