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  1. #1
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    Default Mixed feelings - Miscarriage of fourth baby :(

    My husband and I have 2 girls aged 7 and 5 and a boy aged 1. I have recently experienced a miscarriage of what would of been our fourth baby due to a fall in the kitchen created by my one year old son throwing stuff around the floor.

    I am very upset at this loss and now have mixed feelings about whether to go for another baby or not.

    I can't help thinking that if I didn't fall I would still be pregnant now and I would be happy and my husband and I would work things out. A fourth baby is not off the cards but it wasn't something we planned either.

    I now find myself questioning and trying to analize how and why I feel this way. Am i just grieving the loss of the baby or do i really want another.

    I guess I am on here to either see what others have to say to this. I guess it its really upto me to figure this all out but i have been going through this in my mind for weeks now and can't come up with anything apart from me really wanting to have another baby now.

    Dh is not keen on another baby yet, he would prefer to wait another year until our youngest son is older.

    Thanks for listening and any adivce would be good.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweety16 View Post
    My husband and I have 2 girls aged 7 and 5 and a boy aged 1. I have recently experienced a miscarriage of what would of been our fourth baby due to a fall in the kitchen created by my one year old son throwing stuff around the floor.

    I am very upset at this loss and now have mixed feelings about whether to go for another baby or not.

    I can't help thinking that if I didn't fall I would still be pregnant now and I would be happy and my husband and I would work things out. A fourth baby is not off the cards but it wasn't something we planned either.

    I now find myself questioning and trying to analize how and why I feel this way. Am i just grieving the loss of the baby or do i really want another.

    I guess I am on here to either see what others have to say to this. I guess it its really upto me to figure this all out but i have been going through this in my mind for weeks now and can't come up with anything apart from me really wanting to have another baby now.

    Dh is not keen on another baby yet, he would prefer to wait another year until our youngest son is older.

    Thanks for listening and any adivce would be good.
    That must have been an awful experience. You are doing well to be coping at all. Well done.
    I always think it is best to go with your instinct. It sounds like you have already made up your mind.
    Good luck.
    J.

  3. #3
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    I personally found that I needed to wait until my EDD for my lost bub had passed before I was really able to start to heal. I'm glad (hind sight is wonderful), that DH wanted to wait and thus forcing me to wait. Because I needed to pass that point.So sorry for your loss though, be gentle with yourself and do what ever is right for you. Xoxo

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    So sorry for your loss. When I lost my little girl I was really wanting to fill that void and wanted to try again after a couple of months, it was so upsetting knowing that this day I would be this pregnant and milestone dates were hard. Conceiving DD was the best thing for us it gave me something to be joyous about and concentrated on taking care of the little one I was growing. I would just be careful not to think about a new pregnancy as a way to replace the one lost, and really going through the grieving process.


 

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