+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0

    Default Depression/Post-Natal Depression

    Hi All,

    Just wanting to see if there are any other hubbers out there who may be in a similar position to myself and have any suggestions/advice/success stories to offer?

    I have struggled with depression (pretty severely at times) for the past 10 years. I started out being managed by the GP who suggested I go onto anti-depressant medication for 6 months to help me get better. I am still on them BUT I must say, they have indeed saved my life and I have made peace with the fact that I will probably still need them for a few more years yet. I now see an absolutely wonderful psychiatrist who works only with women during their child-bearing and early parenting years. I was referred to him through the hospital where I had DD.

    As DD is almost 2 I am really, really, REALLY wanting to start trying for No.2... but I'm scared. Terrified, actually, that I won't cope and will stuff up not only mine and DH's lives again but DD's as well! Some days I feel as though it would be so fine and lovely and then others I feel like I'm crazy and selfish to even think I could do it. I know DH wants another one if not two children, and so do I, but I think the fear is just SO strong and ever present that it's been really hard to be at peace with the idea. And I know lack of sleep and lack of support were the 2 main factors for me last time and that either one really can't be helped again this time as we don't have much family at all and sleeping with a new bub....well!! Lol!

    I only just fully recovered from my PND when DD was about 18 months old and only felt that real earth-moving bond happen when she was 14 months old. Everything between her and I is so wonderful and beautiful and as it should be now, I'm very blessed to have her . I just wish I could see into the future to KNOW it won't be as bad the second time around as I am wanting this next baby so very much.

    I would love to hear from/chat with anyone in a similar position.

    Thanks in advance xx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    488
    Thanks
    75
    Thanked
    49
    Reviews
    0
    Firstly and well done to you for coming round the other side of a dark cloud!

    I too have suffered depression for most of my life, and I cant even begin to tell you the amount of fear and anxiety I had for having one child, let alone two! I really struggled with DS1 when he was born, but somehow, after a lot of pain, I managed to get thru it.

    I was very hesitant to have another, but DD2 was born, and she is now 11 months old. I was blessed that she was such a great baby, but also I made sure my Dr's knew my concerns, and I (and my Drs) secured myself with extra support, for the 'just in case'.
    Only you can make the decision of having another, but for me I found that the transition from no baby to one baby much harder than from 1 to 2.
    I totally understand your anxiety about having another, just make sure you speak about it with your Drs and your supportive friends and family.
    Believe in yourself, and hopefully with each passing day, you will become stronger, and wiser and know that you will make the right decision for yourself and your family.
    Good luck xxx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks Spirit
    What a lovely supportive reply xx

    Just out of curiosity, did you find you struggled much after DD2 was born?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    488
    Thanks
    75
    Thanked
    49
    Reviews
    0
    I, suprisingly, am finding it much easier with DD. I havent struggled half as much as I did with DS. I do have some bad days here and there, even some bad weeks! But, until I get back on my feet, I am lucky enough to have help and great ppl who I can call on those days.
    As, I said in PP, I have a much stronger support network this time around. I was looked after a lot better in hospital from day one, and the MCHN is fantastic! My psychiatrist and GP are also very supportive.
    I think that for me, I am a lot more confident in parenting second time around, therefor am able to feel more relaxed and less anxious. Also DD is such a good baby, and a terrific sleeper, which has helped me a great deal.
    for me knowing that there is a great support team in my Drs and MCHN, has made the world of difference to me. Also the confidence in being a mum a second time, is much stronger than the first!

    (By the way, You are very welcome)

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to SpiritofaWarrior For This Useful Post:

    KattyKitty  (18-09-2012)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    717
    Thanks
    780
    Thanked
    240
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi

    I have sent you a pm.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    518
    Thanks
    171
    Thanked
    90
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Good on you for getting thru PND and finally being able to enjoy your DD. That takes strength. I too went thru undiagnosed PND for about 9-12mths. I can relate to how you are feeling with the possibility of having another baby.
    DH bought it up a while back and i think my stomach dropped at the idea. It felt like i had JUST started bonding and doing things right with DD. Everything had JUST fallen into place. I wanted to spend real time getting to know her and "making up" for the rough start we all had.
    However, I also realised how much i had grown. I discoverd self confidence in myself i never knew i had. I realised I AM being a mum! and a great one at that!
    This next baby deserves a mum like me. It wasnt untill we started trying for #2 and it didnt happen straight away, really made it clear just how much i adored the idea of nurturing another little bundle again.
    I have done a bit of research on all of this and i have decided to start the bonding process early with this bub - so for this reason and with DH's support we found out the sex and we have named him already! (No one else knows that we know) so it still makes it a suprise for everyone else yet it's our special family secret at the same time.
    I am refering to him by his name and teaching DD all about him - not that she really understands but she has started kissing and hugging my big belly hehe.
    I am starting to imagine and picture our new completed family in my mind.
    Im not expecting "love at first sight" at all. I know it will take (me) a while for that bond to happen.
    Im slowly doing up his room and buying him just a few clothes here and there.
    I guess you could say i am easing into it all this time. I'm keeping an open positive mind about the actual birth and how it may happen.

    I think if PND has happened before it is most likely to pop its ugly head up again especially at a point when you are feeling weak.
    At least 2nd time around i will expect the unexpected and feel more comfortable going with the flow and my own instincts rather than what everyone/book/website/gp told me to. Because, i HAVE done all this before!

    So, my DD isnt a screw up at all. She's a wonderful perfect happly little girl who my whole world revolves around and my heart is full of her. I have found a new sense of calm in my life. So really, i didnt do that bad at all first time around.
    I was just a first time mum and that bit was really hard.

    Goodluck with your journey. It's hard to imagine sharing your love with another baby when you feel so much of it is with your DD atm.
    You can only prepare your mind so much. Being pushed out of your new found comfort zone by yet another baby is also scary.
    All i can advise is to try and stay positive.
    Talk it out with your partner - they have a different perspective. DH saw me at my worst with DD and i did ask him "what if it happens again?".....he replied:
    "as long as you dont shut me out this time, we can do it together, you're never alone with me".

    All the best

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Hunkamunka For This Useful Post:

    KattyKitty  (18-09-2012)

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Hobart
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    Hi i'm new to bubhub, and pregnancy!

    i'm trying to see if theres someone out there that may have some advice or even been in the same situation as myself.

    I'm 26 currently 14weeks pregnant with my first and this is my first pregnancy and overweight.

    I've been struggling with depression for many many years. I have a history of self harm and suicidal thoughts and ideas. I've been hospitalised a few times over the years. I have been in therapy since 08 and continue to see a psychologist (though i've not been since april ish). I've been happy since i've been seeing my currenty boyfriend (and dad of baby). while i've been pregnant however, I've had some old thoughts coming back. I don't know if its just hormonal or not! i'm scared that i'm going backwards. But i'm just so confused about if its just hormones or something more to be concerns about. I rang my therapist and have mad an appointment for next week. I just feel so alone and sad all the time. I know some of it HAS to be hormones.. I just don't know anymore. Pregnancy is meant to be a happy time, but all i feel is sadness and feeling like a failure because i'm overweight and pregnant.

    any advice would be appreciated.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    Hi Jacqui,

    I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. It's a very hard road to struggle down alone, even though there are supportive friends and family around.

    I definitely would suggest you ask your midwife/obstetrician ASAP if they can refer you to a psychiatrist who deals with depression and anxiety during childbearing years. I can't stress enough how important it is to get help from someone who knows EXACTLY what medications you are/should be on, which ones are safe for bubs- now and later if you plan to breastfeed- and how to manage a pregnant/new mum!! The hospital I was at had what was called a "Perinatal Mental Health Clinic" within the usual maternity clinics and I was seeing my psychiatrist there alongside my OB. It was a life saver! I got all the appropriate, sensitive and understanding treatment from everyone involved in mine and my daughter's care that we needed. I too used to see a psychologist but they are not qualified to deal with medications and a few other bits and pieces that you may need. It definitely sounds like you need specialist care so I can't recommend that you see a perinatal psychiatrist strongly enough.

    I hope everything works out for you and that your experience with pregnancy and motherhood becomes a really positive one .

    Please keep us posted and good luck hun!

    Big hugs xx

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to KattyKitty For This Useful Post:

    FirstTimeMummy2012  (04-10-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Post partum depression what helped you survive/ recover?
    By sylvia1111 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-07-2012, 23:05
  2. Postnatal Depression Awareness Week 2011 - Antenatal Depression (AND)
    By BH-community in forum Postnatal depression
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-03-2012, 16:50
  3. What does mild depression in a DH look like? *long post!*
    By breakthemould in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-03-2012, 22:36

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
L'il Aussie Prems Foundation
An Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high risk of giving birth prematurely, who have babies currently in hospital and families with toddlers who were born too soon.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!