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  1. #1
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    Default discipling a constant run away. please help

    long story short...sd is 13(14 in 2 months). visited us every other weekend. with her mum other times. in highschool lastyear and mixed with bad kids. started running away, etc. mother has moved to sydney and ditched her pretty much and we took her on. she has been explled from school. started new school 2 weeks ago. all was going great. we set up conditions for livng her....pretty much a you get this when you do this kinda thing. she likes to push boundaries so far as she has NEVER had them.
    the last few times she ran away we all yelled at her, punished her etc but the bio mum and my dh never stick to anything so she never learns. she was in town with a friend yesterday, rang to ask to stay longer. i told dh to stcik to his curfew as the night before she was 1 hour late and the night before that she attempted jumping out of her window so nothing was owed to her at all, she rang 4 times. i went to pick her and her friend up and only the friend was there and told me sd ditched her and went off with other people saying she'd be home later. she believed her as she is new in town and was unaware of her history. we go to another friends house where we thought she could be and she wasn't there but this friend said she'd contact us if she heard from her. she did so as sd rang her and told her to come and hang out with her. the friend said no and asked where is she as we are worried and sd toldher she had no plans to come home and hung up.
    so what approach do we take now??yelling doesn't work. she switches off

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Default discipling a constant run away. please help

    Oh wow. I couldn't read and not post. How stressful!! I hope she comes home and wakes up to herself.

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    call the police

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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    call the police
    we have. she has a record with them for ths kind of thing

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    Gosh that sounds so hard.

    Could you somehow get her to volunteer in a homeless shelter? So she could see what it really is like for people who have no home?

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    Sounds awful and frustrating for everyone involved. Has she ever talked to you about why sheis so angry?

    I think 13/14 is a diffucult age for parents and teenagers. Their brains are flooded with hormones, and they do and say some pretty horrible things. Fortunately, most of us grow out of it.

    I was reading in the paper last week about a program that helps kids who are getting into trouble at school. I thought it sounded good. Here is the article and their website - maybe they would be able to help SD?

    http://www.smh.com.au/national/educa...907-25k28.html

    http://handsonlearning.org.au/

    Anyway, my thoughts are with you all. Hope you, DH and SD can pull together and get things on track.

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    musicalmummy  (17-09-2012)

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    I had a serial run away teen so I can totally relate to your problem.

    Have you sought counselling for her through a youth focused organization?

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    MonsterMummy  (02-10-2012),SpecialPatrolGroup  (17-09-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakois View Post
    I had a serial run away teen so I can totally relate to your problem.

    Have you sought counselling for her through a youth focused organization?
    there is not alot in our town that way. she has had appointments with a psych for a year now but it's not helping

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    I feel your pain. I know a 15yo girl, that has constantly been running away lately and the mother has no control. Neither of them listen to each other anyway, so they have kind of a love hate relationship, and bounce off each other, which I think is half the mothers battle. She doesn't/refuses to go to school and DCP doesn't do anything . I have no answers for what your going through either, I wish I did. This 15yo goes to counselling too. But she is a pure manipulator, she pulls it over the phycs too ! so lord only knows what she says to them, and to anyone else that listens. Yep, she is on the police hotline too, and have the house on their hotlist too.

    I feel your pain musical mumma, i just wish they would pull their head in !

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    she has come home. i went through her mobile and rang reent dialled numbers. found out she stayed with a 15yr old at someones house who is a drug dealer. apparently it's the house people know to go to when they need a fix. this boys mother spoke with me and was so scared as her boy was taken to hospital in an ambulance from this house from too many drugs. sd has not told us a thing and we know she won't.
    so how hard is too hard?? i will probably just start another thread lol. but i just don't think we can let her out. her choice of friends is baaaad.it is so scary


 

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