long story short...sd is 13(14 in 2 months). visited us every other weekend. with her mum other times. in highschool lastyear and mixed with bad kids. started running away, etc. mother has moved to sydney and ditched her pretty much and we took her on. she has been explled from school. started new school 2 weeks ago. all was going great. we set up conditions for livng her....pretty much a you get this when you do this kinda thing. she likes to push boundaries so far as she has NEVER had them.
the last few times she ran away we all yelled at her, punished her etc but the bio mum and my dh never stick to anything so she never learns. she was in town with a friend yesterday, rang to ask to stay longer. i told dh to stcik to his curfew as the night before she was 1 hour late and the night before that she attempted jumping out of her window so nothing was owed to her at all, she rang 4 times. i went to pick her and her friend up and only the friend was there and told me sd ditched her and went off with other people saying she'd be home later. she believed her as she is new in town and was unaware of her history. we go to another friends house where we thought she could be and she wasn't there but this friend said she'd contact us if she heard from her. she did so as sd rang her and told her to come and hang out with her. the friend said no and asked where is she as we are worried and sd toldher she had no plans to come home and hung up.
so what approach do we take now??yelling doesn't work. she switches off