She's coping, she just has a very laid back approach to everything, including her kids. It's why we get on so well, I'm the total opposite. I did sort of say OMG when I found out she leaves them alone. Her approach was more, but they won't wake up. I know they won't. They r fantast sleepers so she is correct, the probably wont but that's not the point. She's always been very laid back. Once when they were quite young, she had give her DS a grape, next minute she's proped him up on her knee banging him on the back and this grape flew out about a meter. He was totally choking and then she's saying, no worries. Happens all the time. I would have been freaking out. I really do have concerns but its so awkward! I might let her know that leaving them at home is reportable, and mention the near drownings I've looked after ( I'm a nurse...).
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