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  1. #11
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    Default Re: Worry about friends parenting skills!

    She's coping, she just has a very laid back approach to everything, including her kids. It's why we get on so well, I'm the total opposite. I did sort of say OMG when I found out she leaves them alone. Her approach was more, but they won't wake up. I know they won't. They r fantast sleepers so she is correct, the probably wont but that's not the point. She's always been very laid back. Once when they were quite young, she had give her DS a grape, next minute she's proped him up on her knee banging him on the back and this grape flew out about a meter. He was totally choking and then she's saying, no worries. Happens all the time. I would have been freaking out. I really do have concerns but its so awkward! I might let her know that leaving them at home is reportable, and mention the near drownings I've looked after ( I'm a nurse...).

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  2. #12
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Could you tell her that with her going running and leaving the kids home alone, what would happen if she was hit by a car and nobody knew her children were at home by themselves? They could be there for hours or days before anyone found them.

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  4. #13
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    OMG! I tell you what, she wouldn't be so laid back if she saw one or both of her children floating in the pool. I hope to god that never ever happens. All it takes is seconds for something to go wrong.

    I hope she wakes up to herself.

  5. #14
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    Default Re: Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Could you give her some information in statists etc?

    There's laid back and there's laid back. Is she somehow unaware of the risks?

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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blossompossum View Post
    I have a friend who's son is 4 on the 1st of January. He dead set does not speak! I might have heard him mumble 'mum'. That's it! A few weeks ago his dad thought he might have got a small electric shock so took him to er to get a check up. Well they wernt worried about that only why he wasn't speaking yet, ended up leaving with z referrel to a speech pathologist and pediatrician, oh but like all the other referrals over the years it's too damn expensive so they don't take him!!!!!

    I can't stand it any longer. There is something seriously wrong with him. He is so under developed. My girlfriends and our parents can't understand anything that comes out of his mouth and his parents are in denial. One of our friends boys just got diagnosed with autism, we though this might give her a bit if a wake up call when she found out but no the pediatrician AND the speech pathologist were over diagnosing and it was simply rediculous.

    Can't handle it do have had to cut ties with her.
    Most communities have free speech pathology services? There's no excuse there.


    As for the OP if a fire broke out while she is on her run there goes we kids. I'd have a chat to her about it. You may lose your friend but this kind of negligence is not ok. I could understand 5 minutes (I leave my 7 year old for 10-15 minutes from time to time but he can also unlock the door or use the phone if required, and I'm still nervous about THAT).
    As for the pool it just takes the kid tiring and not being able to reach the edge and she'd be up for criminal charges.

    It might be time to report her so she can get the parenting help she needs.

  7. #16
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Quote Originally Posted by Blossompossum View Post
    I have a friend who's son is 4 on the 1st of January. He dead set does not speak! I might have heard him mumble 'mum'. That's it! A few weeks ago his dad thought he might have got a small electric shock so took him to er to get a check up. Well they wernt worried about that only why he wasn't speaking yet, ended up leaving with z referrel to a speech pathologist and pediatrician, oh but like all the other referrals over the years it's too damn expensive so they don't take him!!!!!

    I can't stand it any longer. There is something seriously wrong with him. He is so under developed. My girlfriends and our parents can't understand anything that comes out of his mouth and his parents are in denial. One of our friends boys just got diagnosed with autism, we though this might give her a bit if a wake up call when she found out but no the pediatrician AND the speech pathologist were over diagnosing and it was simply rediculous.

    Can't handle it do have had to cut ties with her.
    I think your right when you say denial- a lot of people just can't cope.
    I'm not saying its an excuse, rather a problem within society.
    As a pp said there are place you can access for free.

    As for the op could you perhaps say that your DH just had a case with the mother leaving her children unattended and Neighbours called docs- maybe scare her a little to rethink what she's doing.

  8. #17
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    As much as you love your BFF you have to report it so least some one will look into it, because even if you say something she may agree with you but resume what she was doing when you aren't around because it's more convenient to her. If some one of authority says something then maybe she will wise up at the prospect of losing her children.

  9. #18
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    I had a friend who was irresponsible with her own kids and other people's kids as well- she was a family day carer and had kids in her car in car seats that were not properly secured, drove her day care kids from Wollongong to Sydney in that state with no permission from their parents, let her two massive dogs play with these kids unattended.....
    I regularly disagreed with her general parenting style, she would leave her two oldest for hours in their rooms screaming because she did not want to deal with them, and not just on the rare occasion that she had "had enough"- this was a daily occurrence.
    These are only a few examples of her behaviour. I was not the only one who was concerned, several of our friends had noticed and were worried about it.
    Anyway, I will cut this long story short, in the end a few of us tried on separate occasions to "talk" about it without being too judgey- all comments fell on deaf ears, as this woman refuses to be wrong- even when presented with facts she will tell you that she knows better than everyone!!! In the end she was unable to continue with Family Day Care anyway, for many other reasons. But our friendship has all but faded, I cannot cope with being friends with someone who is so blatantly irresponsible and she does not like people who do not agree with her.

    If you confront or report her, please be prepared to take a step back from the relationship for a period of time - she will be hurt and angry no matter how wrong she is, but if you are really good friends she will appreciate it int he long term!

  10. #19
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    I would be worried my concerns would fall on deaf ears and then she'd be upset and cut me out of her life, and I wouldn't know if she was still doing it. I would report her to DOCs personally.And to the pp leaving her 7 year old at home for 10-15mins....that's actually illegal.

  11. #20
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    Default Re: Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Them waking while shes gone should be the LEAST of her worries! I can't believe I'm reading this! I'd try and talk to her, does het husband know she does this? Can you casually mention it to him? He might not know? Honestly aside from that, I'd report her.

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