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  1. #1
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    My BFF who I love dearly does things as a mum that are just so terrible! I was at her house yesterday and her pool gate was proped open and her 4 year old was out there swimming on his own, she can't see him or hear him or anything. He can't swim as he's had no lessons but he can dog paddle, pick things up off the bottom etc. But still...my DDs been getting lessons from 9m and is a great little swimmer. I still won't leave her unsupervised. Other things...her husband works away a lot and she goes out running early in the mornings and leaves the kids at home, alone , sleeping for over an hour. They're 2 and 4! What is something happened? Now her 2.8 yr old can only say a handful of single words and she is amazed at how chatty my DS is who is a week older. My child is nothing special, her DS should have more words by now. But she doesn't take him for his developmental checks. How can I day something without losing a great friend?. My hubby works for DOCS and said leaving the kids alone is a reportable offense...he didn't want to know anymore when I told him!

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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    No advice, but sending some great big hugs!

    How terrible for those children!

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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    I think I would report her. It would be the hardest thing you will ever do but if something happens to one of those babies you would have to live with that forever.

    I'm very sorry you are in this situation.

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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpeamummy View Post
    I think I would report her. It would be the hardest thing you will ever do but if something happens to one of those babies you would have to live with that forever.

    I'm very sorry you are in this situation.
    This.

  5. #5
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpeamummy View Post
    I think I would report her. It would be the hardest thing you will ever do but if something happens to one of those babies you would have to live with that forever.

    I'm very sorry you are in this situation.
    I agree.

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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpeamummy View Post
    I think I would report her. It would be the hardest thing you will ever do but if something happens to one of those babies you would have to live with that forever.

    I'm very sorry you are in this situation.
    100% this!

    Please do it before something terrible happens to those babies!

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    Default Re: Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Wow that's so hard that she's your bff...have you spoken to her about it all. I nearly wrote" your concerns" but they aren't "your concerns" it doesn't matter how nice a person or good her intention she's endangering her children's lives.

    They could die. And I'm not being harsh. They could also survive. There's a risks we all take etc etc but if her 4 year old drowns in the pool her knowingly leaving him alone or her 2 year old wanders in unattended through a gate she propped openit'll be her fault.

    Now it's a crap position for you to be in, she''ll likely be hurt and upset, she may not want to be your friend but you'd be saving her from so much more hurt. And yourself. If something happens to her babies.

    Maybe ask your dh whats the process, whats likely to happen, what support will she be given. Sounds like he's your best resource. Will he be willing to sit down for an " in theory what if I said ..." conversation?



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    Last edited by Boobycino; 15-09-2012 at 22:51.

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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    That's a horrible position to be in

    She can be a good person but have crappy parenting skills. Have you brought it up with her and explained how negligent she's being?

    It's not sonething to stuff around with, as pps have said the kids lives are in pretty obvious danger.

    Maybe if you don't feel comfortable reporting her to DOCS you could have a chat to her.

    It's one of those things you couldn't forgive yourself for if something happened to the kids and you were in a position to stop it from happening hugs

  9. #9
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    I would talk to her before reporting her. If she doesn't listen then I would take action.

    I feel sick to my stomach knowing she leaves them unattended like that. I'm so paranoid around water and leaving them alone while she goes out running WTF! Why can't she buy a treadmill?

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  11. #10
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    Default Worry about friends parenting skills!

    Is she perhaps not coping? It doesn't sound like she is. Have you spoken to her about this?

    I'd report her if you have spoken to her and she doesn't care.


 

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