+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    71
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default A new sibling...advice needed?

    My dd is 3.5 and up until recently is just such a good kid. I had my ds 4 weeks ago and my dd's behaviour has just spiralled out of control. It truly feels like she hates me. I try so hard to maintain special time with her and try to explain and talk to her about the changes but she just seems to be so angry at me it's almost hate and breaks my heart. Any advice or just reassurance that I'm not the only mummy to experience this would be great

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    721
    Thanks
    38
    Thanked
    134
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default A new sibling...advice needed?

    You are not the only mummy to experience this!!

    Your DD is probably completely out of sorts and maybe a little resentful and angry too. I once heard the description that it's like your partner bringing home a new wife and expecting you to just be cool with this. I'm sure it's not that extreme but an interesting way to look at it!

    My DD was 3 when DS was born and I tried to spend quality time with her every time he had a sleep. We'd do activities I knew she loved - painting, reading stories etc and made her feel as special as possible.

    Could you tell her you understand she feels angry, and that you'd probably feel angry too in the same situation? Sometimes validating the feeling can work wonders and help kids talk about them more.

    Try and give her some time, it's still very fresh and I promise it gets better as time goes on.

    I hope things improve for you very soon!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    2,080
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked
    474
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Oh dear. What does she actually do/say? Is it possible it's your worries about the situation making you misinterpret normal 3 year old behaviour?

    I'm afraid I can't share the experience as I'm due in a few days with my second and my DS will be 3. But I'm interested in other replies.

    My DS seems well aware of what's going on but the reality will be much different I imagine. Interestingly, he's recently started pretending to be "the baby" and wanting to be carried/sung to. Should be interesting when the baby is actually here....

    DS has certainly had periods over the last 2 months in particular where he has behaved abominally for a week or two, then reverted back to normal child. Angry, refusing to co-operate in any way, being rude and rough etc. So perhaps she's just doing the normal 3 year old boundary-testing? It's possibly not related to bubby at all?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    8,245
    Thanks
    1,772
    Thanked
    2,017
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ended 19/6/2014
    My DS was almost 3 when DS2 2was born. His behaviour spiraled out of control too. It was really bad. I couldn't leave him alone with DS2 otherwise he would push over the bouncer, smack DS2 in the head, etc..
    His behaviour at daycare changed too. It was bad all round for quite some time.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    444
    Thanks
    84
    Thanked
    60
    Reviews
    0

    Default A new sibling...advice needed?

    Ds 1 is 2 and ds2 is 4 weeks. I was worried but ds1 loves him sooooo much. Gives DS2 all his special toys and comforter. Im amazed. Hope it changes for you soon


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    124
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    Beleive me you are not the only one to experience this. My DD who was 3.5 at the time DS was born was truely horrible to me, she wouldn't do anything with me it had to be her and Daddy. It made me cry at times, but it all works out, they come around and everything comes back to normal.Just remember you hormones are still abit crazy at the moment and sometimes we read into things to much.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    444
    Thanks
    84
    Thanked
    60
    Reviews
    0

    Default A new sibling...advice needed?

    I never tell ds1 off for being close or 'helping' im just always there to guide his behavior i also still try to give ds1 lots of attention and explain everything to him ie mummy nerds to give ds2 milk now (we often find ds1 pulling up his top to feed ds2!

    Can you encourage her to 'help' and reward that behavior?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    71
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default A new sibling...advice needed?

    Thanks good to know there are others who have experienced it too. We are sure it's been brought on by a new sibling as its whenever I am trying to feed or settle my new ds. I am so close to her it's just so hard. I miss her terribly

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,345
    Thanks
    421
    Thanked
    86
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Wow, this scares me. My DS1 is 7YO though, no longer a toddler or preschooler, I wonder how it would be like when his baby brother arrives soon.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    27
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0

    Default A new sibling...advice needed?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mom2OneDS View Post
    Wow, this scares me. My DS1 is 7YO though, no longer a toddler or preschooler, I wonder how it would be like when his baby brother arrives soon.
    I just had my ds 2 weeks ago and dd of age seven is the best helper in the world and dotes on her little brother all the time


 

Similar Threads

  1. Advice needed please :)
    By Jarylee in forum General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 31-08-2012, 00:24
  2. Advice needed from a nurse maybe or just advice please!
    By MyBubbaJack in forum General Health
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 23-05-2012, 22:28
  3. Advice needed
    By hipney in forum Constipation, Toilet Training
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-01-2012, 21:19

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!