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  1. #11
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    Default PND? Inlaws visiting

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I, like many others on here have been in this position its horrible.
    My mil went from staying a couple of days to 2 weeks I think from memory I swear I'm still scarred. That 2 weeks did go by quicker than I thought PLUS I vented on BH a lot haha so the support from here honestly got me through. Why why why inlaws even stay I do not know if your DH can get them to stay in a hotel it would be good but if he's like my DH it won't happen.

    Hun you will get through the next few days you will and then it will be just you and bub again.... I am sending you the biggest hug right now..... I feel your pain

    Edit: oh yea thats right and my mil cooked 2 meals I think in the whole 2 wks some days DH and I went without even eating because the baby had severe colic and there wasn't anything on hand
    Last edited by LoCo; 15-09-2012 at 17:00.

  2. #12
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    Default PND? Inlaws visiting

    Tell hubby how overwhelmed you're feeling and get him to speak to his parents about helping out by cooking meals and cleaning while theyre staying - might make the next 5 days more bearable.

    As for the ancient baby stuff wait till they are gone then ditch the toys and say they fell apart when you gave them a wash to freshen them up. Put the basket in garage or some other out of the way place till they visit next then give it back cause your DS has then outgrown it.

  3. #13
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    Default PND? Inlaws visiting

    Hugs

  4. #14
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    In the morning take some meat from the freezer and ask MIL for advice on how it can be prepared. Then say 'that sounds delicious, thank you I would love you to make that for dinner'. Next give your FIL a tea towel and say 'in case you get bored whilst baby is sleeping there are some dishes to do. Oh, and when the clothes are ready to be hung out youll hear the machine beep. That great basket you got us will help if you can't find my laundry basket'. Next ask dh if he would like a cuppa. Tell him he can make you one whilst making his. Then go back to bed. Rude people need a wake up call. They may have travelled to see baby but they are not on holiday & this ain't club med.
    Start as you mean to go on. Easy to say but difficult to do but you need to do it for your well being.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: PND? Inlaws visiting

    Okay I had inlaws who thought they owned my baby but seriously he is/was MY baby. I'm "lucky" my pnd meant I didn't have room to fit in what other people think and feel, I'm sure I was probably rude and forceful. I'd stand 10cms away from people holding my baby, I'd take him back and go into another room to settle him, I'd hold him as long as I wanted and made no apology for not "sharing him". I also had a few visitors in the early days with jasper I dont even know what or if they ate I figure they must have sorted themselves out.

    But in a way my single minded obsession of protecting my baby did save me from.any such situation where my baby was passed around or over stimulated. My mil woke jasper once "to see his eyes" without a thought I took him off her and rocked him back to sleep. My mum started passing him around to family members I fetched him back to my arms.

    I lacked the ability to even consider any one else at that point though.... maybe not such a terrible thing..

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  6. #16
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    Default PND? Inlaws visiting

    Huge hugs OP! My inlaws came to visit us recently - they stayed in an apartment around the corner from us for a week and even though they are good people and have good intentions, i had daily cries and vents ... Inlaws are infuriating! Yours sound particularly ... Challenging

    I'd love to have good advice on how to deal with them but I think venting to your DH and then getting through their stay are all that I can offer.

    With regards to the crying and pnd etc ... Your hormones are still in crazy free-fall after pregnancy, and the sleep deprivation and emotional stress of the last few weeks, getting used to being a mum and parents and the total hugeness of all that this wonderful addition to your life cannot be underestimated - and then of course there are the inlaws. That said, if you have a niggling feeling of pnd, go and talk to your gp. I had my suspicions from the time my DD was about 1 month but thought it couldn't possibly happen to me etc. so soldiered on for another year before falling in an emotional heap and getting help. When I did finally see someone, she said that feeling of wanting to just walk away from it all was a classic sign of depression. as soon as I sort help, everything got so much better and easier.

    The biggest hugs to you

  7. #17
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    Default PND? Inlaws visiting

    Thank you so much to everyone who has posted. I feel so much better reading everyone's supportive messages.

    DH has been wonderful and really understanding of my meltdown. He spoke to his parents to get them mobilized into looking after themselves, so at least they're finding their own breakfast before we drag ourselves out of bed. They're certainly not catering for us or doing dishes etc, but it's a start I suppose. It's in their nature to be leeches I think.

    Does anyone else find it odd that we had to pay for the Chinese takeaway for all of us last night? If my family were staying they would have insisted on paying at least for themselves but more likely for everyone, as a gesture of thanks for the accommodation etc, but they didn't even offer! Is it just me or is this poor etiquette?!

    Anyway, I'm reassured to read a lot of posts suggesting that teary outbursts are still normal a month after giving birth and I am gritting my teeth and making it perfectly clear that I am not here to wait on them. I can't wait til Wednesday when I can have my baby back and my house tidy again!!!

  8. #18
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    Default PND? Inlaws visiting

    Hum poor etiquette on their part re: takeaway... I guess it depends on their financial situation.


 

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