I've been discussing this with one of the Mum's at school as there have been a few playground incidents in the past week or so - you can tell it's nearly school holidays, the kids are getting ratty.
I pulled up a kid for hitting DS on the back with a stick, wasn't rude but did give it an "oi" come on boys, you know the school policy of no sticks, no hitting etc. I felt a bit awkward but 3 kids had sticks and you could see it was on a slippery slope.
Not 10mins later I hear another Mum being very stern with one of the kids that I'd just spoken too, apparently he'd ditched the stick and punched DS in the stomach. I didn't see it so stayed out of it but she was pretty polite but stern with her discussion.
Next thing we know, the sticks are picked up again and he's waving it at DS and DS went to grab it and the kid tried to kick him in the nether regions. Well this other Mum jumped in before me (I only saw the aftermath so probably wouldn't have said anything as I didn't see enough) and got quite stuck into this kid - she was polite though but quite sternly again told this kid enough was enough and he was being unpleasant, not making good choices, ignoring school rules and perhaps he should go and have a walk round the quadrangle. Off he went.
At first I felt really awkward about what had gone on but after a while I thought well it was done politely, the child was respectfully told it wasn't on and honestly if it had been my DS and she spoke to him like that then I wouldn't have an issue with it if I wasn't there to discipline it myself. In situations like at school where kids are often there without parents I think it's good that the other parents are looking out for all the kids.
I guess it's in the way it's delivered but if there are no parents around, or parents not involved then I think there are situations in which you can politely discipline another child.
ETA: I should mention that I do watch my son in the school ground but I have DD there too and was a little distracted with her newfound love of climbing to the top of the slide the wrong way
Last edited by ICanDream; 13-09-2012 at 20:49.
I don't discipline other people's kids but I will stop them if they're getting rough etc. The other day at a playground an older boy tried to push my toddler down the stairs. I ran over to intervene but before I could DD walked up to him and said firmly, 'don't touch my brother and don't push him. He's little and coud get really hurt and even die! So back off!' That's about what I would have said minus the death bit. It did the trick.
So yeah, I don't discipline other kids but I'll tell them to play nice or stay away from my kids if they're too rough. Usually knowing they're being watched stops the negative behaviour (so far). I've never come across another kid slapping me though. I'm not sure how I'd react to that to be honest. That's pretty full on.
I don't think it's right to discipline as such but I often tell kids that are playing at my house that they can't to something or not to do something they just did. But always use a nice voice, I only use a stern voice if I'm telling off my child as well as another child.
I'll tell a child off in a respectful way, like don't hit, it's not ok to push etc. I will do it in front of the parent too. I wouldn't touch another kid to discipline them unless it was an emergency, like someone was going to be seriously injured. And then I would try to prevent harm without touching them, like taking the stick etc. hard to explain when talking generally, but given a situation I could be very specific.
I subscribe to the theory `it takes a village to raise a child'
If a child is behaving in an unsafe/disrespectful manner toward my child or a child in my care, I will approach them and say `You're not hitting/kicking/pushing my girl are you?!' and give them that LOOK.
I find that often works.......the subtext being`I'm watching you and I will continue to watch you'
I've approached a parent before and she practically bit my head off - I now choose to interact with the child directly.
Last edited by sweetsugardumplin'; 13-09-2012 at 21:20.
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