My husband and I have two children each from our previous marriages and we are now pregnant with our first child together. My two kids live here most of the time just seeing their dad every 2nd weekend and his kids are here 50% of the time.
Currently my hubby is going through a career crisis. 12 months ago he quit his full time job because he was disillusioned with his career and the whole industry he works in in general. We decided that he should spend some time studying and working casually until he decides what career path he wants to follow. I have my own business and earn enough money to support us for a while.
However, one year later my hubby is still unsure what he wants to do and currently working as a waiter at a restaurant some nights and weekends. I am 22 weeks pregnant and planning on giving up work at the end of the year. I have made it clear that I am struggling with him being gone all weekend and missing out on some precious time together before the baby comes and being stuck with 4 full-on kids on my own every second weekend and several nights during the weekend. He has agreed that he needs to find a new job before the baby comes but so far he's had no luck. Not that he's really being trying hard either :-(
Unfortunately he is a chronic procrastinator and he lacks motivation to do almost anything. I generally have to push and nag and hassle him just to get minor things done (for example when we first met 3.5 years ago he hadn't lodged a tax return for over 5 years. It took another 18 months of me nagging him before he eventually sorted it out).
Anyway, the whole job situation is really starting to worry me. We are currently renting a 4 bedroom house for a bargain price and I worry that if our landlord ever decides to sell (she is a very old woman and if she dies I suspect her family will sell the property) that we will be forced to move out and if DH doesn't have a full time job we will have a lot of trouble getting another rental. I also suffer from depression and I worry that I won't cope with a new baby plus 4 other kids plus money issues etc etc.
I am thinking I have to give my hubby an ultimatum to get him motivated. It sounds really slack I know, but I am considering telling him that if I doesn't find another job soon where he is not working nights and weekends, he will have to tell his ex that we can't have his kids so often. I really feel like I won't be able to cope being home alone with 4 children and a new-born on nights and weekends, especially considering I am only just coping now.
I know that he will not want to see his children any less and that's why I think suggesting it will probably be the only thing that will get him motivated to go out and find a job.
I'd really appreciate some opinions on this- do you think such an ultimatum would be a good idea? Or is he going to hate me just for suggesting it?