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  1. #1
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    Default Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    My dd has a friend she likes to play with regularly in our backyard.

    This friend has 3 other young siblings.
    Who usual follow her over to play.
    Which is all good, the more the merrier.

    But. My issue is this -
    Dd's friend is 7.5 yrs. her siblings are
    -5.5yrs
    -3.5yrs
    -1.yrs

    They all come over to play in the back yard. And the youngest is usual brought over in a pram.

    Is this normal/ok to do?

    For me, i dont even let my dd 6.5yrs over some ones house without my supervision, and theres No way id let her take her toddler sibling with her with out my supervision, let alone take a 1yr old.

    I asked eldest child if parents know the 2 youngest kids are here, which she replied yes.
    I then told her she needs to let parents know that they are in the backyard with out adult supervision.
    Which they ALL return to play.

    (they cant come inside the house as the 7.5 & 5.5 yr olds dont seem to understand that this is not their house and just come in and take food, from fridge, freezer, pantry.
    They go through all the rooms including mine, they demand things from my dd and seem to love touching all my breakables)

    So its outside with outside toys and a box of cookies and a huge water jug.
    Im just home from work, iv got housework and dinners to get done plus work phone calls, i dont have time or want to be watching some one elses 1 & 3 yr old like a hawk.

    Especially when i havent been asked to.
    Another thing also is i barely know the parents, we have said hi and had 5min convo once or twice but thats it.

    Is this something you would allow?

    Also what manners do you teach your children when in some one elses house?

    I usually feed my kids before i visit some one or bring snacks along, and my kids always ask for a drink when thirsty and place cup in sink.

    They know they cant touch anything that is not a childs toy or book and to only go in childrens rooms - and to always use manners.

  2. #2
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    Default Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    Maybe you should talk to the parents. I know it's nice for your dd to have someone to play with but that's a bit weird with the 1 yr old then helping them selves to your stuff. I was always taught to ask first and say please. So yes I think talk to the parents then depending on their reaction make your choice on what to do

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    If I were you I'd be telling the parents that it's ok for the older child to come round but not the younger ones as you are unable to supervise them and don't want to be liable if they have an accident or something ( because you would be) personally I think its very cheeky of the parents and it's no wonder their children behave the way they do!

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    Default Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    Definitely not normal!
    I had to re-read your OP because at first I thought you meant they all came over and the older sibling just watched them but I thought maybe the parent was actually at your house.

    I would NOT be ok with this. And even if I asked the eldest if the parents knew where they were I'd be contacting them straight away.
    It's a huge responsibility to put on a 7 year old and yourself as you would be liable if something happened at your house.
    If it continued after speaking to the parents I would report it.

  5. #5
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    I'd be okay with my niece looking after my 2 year old out that back of my house.. but honestly? If I were you I wouldn't allow that. God knows what this woman is like and if her daughter hurts herself in your backyard she might sue you (Sad but there's a few people out there that would). I'd just tell them that the 2 younger ones aren't allowed over without adult supervision.

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    Default Re: Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    Definitely not something I would do, but the Bogans down the street do it all the time!! (Leave all their kids in their front yard... Older ones watching the young ones)

  7. #7
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    Default Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    Ok so im not just an overprotective parent haha.

    I thought it was so strange allowing a 7.5 supervise a 3 & 1 yr old.

    At the moment they have gone home as were getting ready for dd hair cut. So il have to approach them over the weekend.

    What would you say to them?
    Im not sure how to approach it, though i dont agree with their obvious stance on parental supervision, i dont want to offend them either.

    Yea their house manners are Nothing to be desired. But sending them to the backyard sith ok'd snacks are an easy fix.

    Even in the backyard its all climbing on fences where theres a two metre drop, running in and out of the back gate, they try to sway my dd into sneaking things outside- sneaking them inside.

    Leaving rubbish all over backyard.
    My dd can some times be a bit easily swayed into things so i do remind her of the rules from time to time but for the most part she does tell them no your not allowed so lets play xyz now.

    But to them it all seems very much a normal thing to do and not them actually being naughty or being rude on purpose.

  8. #8
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    I might let my 5 & 3 yr old come over with the older sister - but only if I was in the backyad so I could hear what they were up to - and I'd never send a 1 yr old off with kids that age. And I check with the parents to make sure it was ok!!

    I wouldn't feel comfortable just sending all my kids over to someone else's house like that! Seems a bit rude to me!

    We had an issue 12 months ago where a mate of our neighbour was renting his spare bedroom & every 2nd weekend his kids would come to stay the little girl was 5 and her brother about 2.

    Whenever our kids were in our backyard these 2 would appear - which I didn't mind, as they were obviously bored with no outside toys to play with, but I wasn't comfortable with the 2 year old just wandering around unsupervised, so the 3rd time it happened I just took him home, knocked on the door and explained to dad I was happy to have him but as I was going inside I didn't feel safe leaving him with the big kids.

    From then on just the daughter used to come over if she could hear my girls playing, which I didn't mind.

    I also didn't feed her, if we were having afternoon/morning tea I'd call my kids inside and tell her she had to go home now & ask her dad for something eat but she could come back when we came outside again.

  9. #9
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    Default Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    My ds is next door right now playing he is 4. He only is allowed in their yard and not inside. Dd is 2 and would love to go over and play but I won't allow it. I don't mind the kids coming here but again only in my yard. I found it hard letting ds go next door at 4. But then the other neighbours kids aged 11 to 3 were always going over and poor ds would sit at the fence watching them.

    Yes a ds always has to ask me and the kids next door always have to ask their parents if it ok to play.

    I also won't feed them and I wouldn't like ds being fed there either. They can go home and come back after.
    Last edited by 1CrazyMoose; 13-09-2012 at 16:40.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Young kids watching toddlers outside unsupervised. Normal??

    I let my DS play outside alone. When he has a friend over, I usually duck in and out and call out to check they are up to no good. When my cousin stays, I have to supervise her 3yr old as I don't trust him outside.

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