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  1. #1
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    Default Paranoid Mama!!!

    Is anyone else absolutely terrified of being a bad parent?!? Surely not just me?!

    I'm so terrified I'm doing a bad job and being a bad parent! I'm so scared I'm doing the wrong thing, and I'm going to screw up! I end up analyzing all of my interactions with my DD.

    I'm so scared she will have insecure attachment with me. I keep taking note of whether my DD is affected by separation from me, whether she is nervous around strangers.

    I know it sounds really silly, but I actually get very nervous and anxious and worked up about it all. And then I worry that my nerves are affecting my DD and my relationship with her. Vicious cycle!!

  2. #2
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    Default Paranoid Mama!!!

    Just me then

  3. #3
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    Nope not just you, I am exactly the same... I question everything I do, I feel guilt about most of the things I do. I worry about how my parenting will affect them as they get older. I get scared I might raise children with insecurities and issues. I worry about DS's diet ALOT because he is picky, I worry about how this will impact his development etc... I worry ALOT lol...

    In the end I have to just take a chill pill (not literally lol) and remind myself that no matter how my kids turn out there are always gonna be counsellors

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  5. #4
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    Default Re: Paranoid Mama!!!

    Sorry, I'm the complete opposite.. Im not much help to you lol

  6. #5
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    My DH is exactly like that. I have to keep telling him he is doing fine. Funny part is I'm the volatile argumentive one and DH is so lovely and generous but guess which one has the biggest fights with DD. Go figure.

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    Yep, I'm like this too. I'm always worried I'm messing things up despite trying my darndest. And I worry that my worry is harmful too, lol. I just can't win in my head sometimes.

    But at the end of the day, I look at my kids and think I can't be doing too much wrong because they're so lovely and doing so well. And then one of them will have a meltdown and get me thinking again...

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    MamaNurture  (14-09-2012)

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    Default Paranoid Mama!!!

    That true. I do have a happy and well rounded sweetheart for a daughter.

    I actually get myself very stressed about it. It keeps me up at night!

    The other day we were looking at day care centres and when we were at one, I need the bathroom. The director offered to hold DD while I was in the bathroom. It was the first time DD has ever been left alone with anyone except DP and I. So I expected her to be upset as I went away. She had a slightly worried look, but was fine. When I returned she didn't even rush into my arms. She wasn't unhappy or otherwise, she just was looking around. It wasn't the response I was expecting!

    And the same day we were in a meeting with my mum and someone, and DD was becoming restless. So my mum took her outside, and DD was quite happy to play with her grandma! When I can back though, she wanted me.

    Anyway.

    I guess I over think things. But I think about Mary Ainsworth theory and the strange situation test and, if we did that, would we be successful? Def over thinking it!

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    Default Paranoid Mama!!!

    And you're right Theophania, there's always therapy. Got to give them some mummy/daddy issues to work with! :P

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  13. #9
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    You sound just like me!! I over analyze everything. Can't sleep some nights hoping I am doing an okay job. Hoping I'm raising happy kids who will turn in to happy adults. It's such an enormous job, that I find myself overwhelmed with responsibilty most days. No advice just wanted you to know you're definately not alone!!

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    Default Paranoid Mama!!!

    Hi I work in child protection assessing attachment relationships and even if the strange situation doesn't indicate a secure attachment, other info such as who bubs wants to feed her, put to sleep and parental characteristics are all taken into account. So don't stress... Even if DD doesn't protest it doesn't mean she is insecure. The facts that you have even read about it and are aware speaks volumes about your ability to look after her needs. I'm sure you are a great Mum

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