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  1. #1
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    Default Help! Advise on baby that cries before every sleep!

    Hello all. I'm hoping someone has some advise for me and my 4month old LO. She cries before every sleep and being against CIO I find this very distressing! She has only drifted uncrying into sleep twice in her life (unless fed to sleep). I hold her and rock her while she cries. She can cry for 20minutes and get increasingly distressed (as do I!). Eventually I give in and give her the dummy during the day and remove it once she is lying down (which takes a few goes). Ive been told NOT to use dummy as a sleep aid and to put her down sleepy but it's either crying, dummy or ricki g her to sleep...
    At night we don't use the dummy as it has lead to VERY bad sleeping (waking every hr). She usually Wakes after 40mins during day naps and at night sleeps through from 7pm to 1am thereafter waking every 1-2hrs.

    She often wakes crying as well, refusing to open her eyes and screaming.

    I make sure i settle her when she shows tired signs (usually 1.5hr after last sleep) and we have a bedtime and nap time routine. She is mostly formulae fed. Although she is über wrapped at night I am experimenting with one arm out or sleeping bag during the day..,

    I think it's either she needs to expend the last bit of her energy before sleeping, is protesting at having to go to sleep or doesn't know how to transition to sleep without going through crying.

    I feel like I'm doing cried out and I don't want to! How can I help her learn how to settle without the dummy? Any advise greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
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    it is not natural for a 4 month old baby to self settle. They need their mum or dad. the need to suck is also natural.

    however, holding your baby while they cry is not the same as cio.

    think about what you want to do, and whst you think will work for you and your LO. more important than what anyone else can tell you.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    I think providing her with comfort while she is crying is totally different to CIO.

    A couple of thoughts
    a.) Are you catching her sleepy signals in time or is she getting a bit too stimulated?
    b.) Would it be the end of the world if you fed her to sleep. I did it with my DD and when she weaned I was still able to get her off to sleep.

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    Default Help! Advise on baby that cries before every sleep!

    My now 14 month old has done this every sleep of her life- and it's a really angry cry- no matter whether she is being rocked, held, in the pram/car seat she does this really angry cry for 3-5 min then goes to sleep. I used to work in a sleep school and I can't explain it or understand it- it's really upsetting as no matter what we do she won't settle without crying.
    We now at 14 months put her in her cot and she angry cries for 3ish minutes then just stops- during her awake time she is a happy little girl and has a lovely personality- she just hates sleeping (once She's asleep she sleeps all night)

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    Default Help! Advise on baby that cries before every sleep!

    Sounds like my LO I give her the dummy, sometimes feed her to sleep if she needs it, try to put her down fairly soon after she shows tired signs (otherwise she gets overtired & doesn't settle), pat her to sleep (lights off so I can't make eye contact with her!)
    Sometimes for day sleeps I lie on the floor of her room until she's asleep- she doesn't need to be touched but just likes to know I'm in the room with her.
    HTH

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    Default Help! Advise on baby that cries before every sleep!

    I was told the same thing about not using dummy as a sleep aid, but the ppl who tell you that don't have to try and calm your screaming baby. My DD almost 4 months goes down with a dummy for most sleeps. Could you try putting your LO down after an hour of being awake. We tried this as we were having major issues if I waited till tired signs. It seemed to do the trick and she was a different day sleeper. Did that for 2 weeks now we are back to waiting for tired signs then to bed.

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    My dd used to do that as well and I remember being in tears many a time as it used to upset me. She wouldn't take a dummy either. If felt like she Just wanted to have a cry before sleep, kind of like she had made it her own little routine for falling asleep if you know what I mean. My ds used to shake his head vigorously before drifting off to sleep which was also a bit distressing for me as he looked strange. They both grew out of it.

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    Our DS (not quite 12 weeks) has cried before every single one of his sleeps...night or day. We used to rock him to sleep and he'd sometimes cry for 40 mins or more! Now we are putting him down in the bassinet while awake but tired. He still cries but I know they are his way of winding down. We sit with him and shush with a lullaby playing and he generally drifts off after 15 - 20 minutes. If he gets really worked up I hold him in the bassinet to soothe him or stroke his forehead. If he really won't have a bar of it I pick himup till calm and then pop him back in.

    So long as he knows I am there and will comfort him when he really needs it he's good. It was hard though until I got used to which cries needed me and which were just him letting off steam.

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    Default Possibly separation anxiety ??

    Mine started doing that around 5 mnths old too. She freaks out whenever its time to sleep and battles like freddy krugar is visiting her in her sleep. I was told it may be separation anxiety and that its quite common development around 5-10 mnths old as they start to understand that u r gone and that they miss u but haven't yet learnt to understand that u come back so having anxiety at bedtime can occur until they realise u will always come back. They told me she would eventually out grow it and I didn't have to do anything if I could deal with it, but some things to help until she outgrows it are to co sleep if its something ur comfortable with (I was always too paranoid to but the last week I succumbed and the nights she slept with me she went down so much easier). Also staying with baby during day naps and only putting her in cot at night can help ease her bedtime anxiety (which I did and it did work until I thought she was all good and started putting her down during day again and then the battling sleep started up again ). Or introducing her to a teddy for a few days and then once she's gotten to "know" it put it in cot with her as supposedly it helps them feel like they have a friend with them so they dnt feel so anxious . These r just tips I was given which worked for me so I guess her screaming and frwaking out at sleep was separation anxiety .


 

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