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  1. #51
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    Peonies.... yes, that's what Prof Illingworth said, that a cancelled EPU would save us considerably. He said that it is possible to freeze eggs, but the success rate for thawing eggs (as opposed to embryos) is very small so he doesn't recommend it. We agreed, so will just hope that DH can continue to grow some sperm and that Dr G finds it! DH has been taking more tablets, vitamins etc than I do, so hopefully there's some improvement - hey, anything more than 2 sperm will be an improvement for us!!

    So you can't hold onto your chosen donor forever? Is that right? So you give that one back, stay at the top of the list, and when you're ready will be given an up-to-date list to make a new choice from? Good to know, since details like that are never clearly explained in the brochures. Thanks.

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    That's right - nobody ever tells you stuff like that. Coincidentally, I had emailed Kirsty to ask if there was a time limit on breaks before we went back to the bottom of the list. And at the same time, Gayle had called me & left a message (it was last week, but I didn't get it until yesterday) - as I was on her list to check up on. We don't have to release the donor back. If we were particularly tied to him and thought we'd be going again within a few months they'd be happy to hold him. But we are happy to say no, that's fine - just had that reassurance that we don't go to the bottom of the list.

    And some more interesting stuff. They do have a rule of 3 unsuccessful stim cycles with a donor and you go back to the bottom of the list, to give someone else a chance who may have better eggs, I guess. I asked about that, because my first cycle was kind of successful - I did have a pregnancy and got to heartbeat just before 7 weeks and then miscarried, so I think they count that as a clinical pregnancy. Apparently that also means that's not considered an unsuccessful cycle. So I've only had 1 unsuccessful and thus would get 2 more stims with a donor. It's all very complicated.

    We were happy to let that donor go actually. Given the way my eggs and embryos behaved in terms of high fertilisation, all still going strong at day 3 and then not so much by day 5 we'd be quite keen to see if different sperm makes a difference. Out of curiosity, I asked Gayle if that donor had achieved any other pregnancies. She looked, and the answer was NO. Aside from mine (that didn't progress), no other pregnancies, despite being used by 4 diff people. Interesting. I wish they gave some details of the semen analysis as part of the profile - I think we should be able to know the results of the tests they do on the donors. She said they've got a bunch of new donors just about to go on the list, so hopefully that means things will suddenly speed up for you.

    And hopefully I'll have some luck with my private donor and AI at home, and won't need to worry about IVFA's list again.
    Last edited by peoniesarepretty; 23-01-2013 at 13:12.

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  4. #53
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    Default Waiting lists for anon sperm donor??

    Good luck to both of you :-)

    Gayle had mentioned that to me too Peonies which is exciting. I'm trying not to get my hopes up that we'll get the call up for next cycle but hard not too be too hopeful. It's been nearly six months since our last iui and my patience is testing me.

    So they don't show details of whether the donor has achieved previous pregnancies?

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    I just spoke to Kirsty and said release our donor. So she is just putting us on hold, which just means we're kind of off to the side for the time being. I asked her if us doing that (releasing the donor) meant someone else moves up a place on the list and she said yes. So there you go - that's some movement!

    It does show you on the website how many families they've already created. Maybe we were looking at it at from the wrong perspective when we chose - thinking 0 was preferable to 3 or 4 because there were less half siblings already running around. But in fact, if we do have to choose again we'd be looking for at least a 1 there, so we know it "works" so to speak. Sometimes it's just a certain combo of eggs & sperm. Or maybe it's my eggs! Who knows?

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    Default Waiting lists for anon sperm donor??

    Oh how lovely :-) glad though that you aren't put back to the start.

    When we selected at ff one of our criteria was that they had previous pregnancies, sort of more of a known quantity, proven success type thing.

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    At IVFA (when all 4 profiles were marked ICSI-only) we asked why - wondering if it was related to sperm quality and were told it was related to sperm numbers only, since they have to split the samples to provide for so many attempts. So, although the sperm quality results are the private medical records of the donor, you can at least ask if there is any issue (here I assume they don't lie when then answer). It would be really mean of them to supply dud sperm on the donor list.
    Our donor profiles from IVFA (before they had them available on the internet) said how many children the donor already had. We also asked if they'd been used previously at IVFA and whether any children or pregnancies had been produced there. Again we assume we were told the truth when they said no-one had used that donor yet so there was no success yet at the clinic.

    Glad you got clarification, peonies, on counting how many tries you get. I thought it was 3 goes unless you had a live birth, and then you could go back as many times as you want to create full siblings. (Not that we are ever going to try again for more, so I didn't really have to pay attention to most of that detail.)

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    Interestingly, Kirsty did mention she has removed donors from the list before when they hadn't been achieving any pregnancies after a while. I guess sometimes they can look fine in the tests, but there be some DNA issues that you just don't know about. She said they don't put any on the list if they have bad results on fragmentation test. But if they're just ok, then presumably they make it because they do have a shortage of donors, after all. Sometimes it can just be a combination of eggs & sperm, I guess.

    I think when we chose our guy nobody else had used him at the time. But now, (almost a year later) other people have used him, but no success yet. She did say one person does have frosties though, so maybe it was just my old 37 year old eggs.

    Hopefully we do not need to go back, and our AI at home will work one of these months. We actually do have an appointment to see FS next week, just to see what assistance might be available to help me (if I need any) with my fertility. Obviously legally he's not going to have anything to do with our private donor, but perhaps just treat us like a normal couple and pretend it's just intercourse with DH at home, then what else would he try with me before going to IVF? I emailed him a big list of questions/suggestions/tests, so he probably got a headache and is planning on calling in sick that day so he doesn't have to see me. bahahaha

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    I've been on the waiting list at IVFA for 4 months next week, I'm using IUI so I guess the waiting list is longer. I'm thinking that I should perhaps try Fertility East as from what I've read on the forums there is no waiting list. I have emailed Kirsty and she said to contact her in March which will be 5 months waiting. Has anyone had this experience using IUI with waiting this long?

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    ^^ Less donors are available for IUI unfortunately.

    I think both Fert East and Fert First have no waiting list. Have you considered finding a donor yourself and doing AI at home? It's free at least.

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    Default Waiting lists for anon sperm donor??

    Friends of ours only recently picked their donor for iui after at least 5.5 mths on the list.

    And yep fert first have no waiting list either.


 

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