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  1. #111
    Veritas's Avatar
    Veritas is offline Diversity has value.... How boring would the world be if everyone was just like you...
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    Two souls, we weren't told that? We were given access to the list only when we could select.

    She told us to make sure we didn't pick anyone that had nominated restrictions such as not donating to same sex couples, etc, so in reality there were really only half dozen or so that fit the cultural and preferential bill for us

  2. #112
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    Veritas thanks for that. When she rang she said that we could only look at heterosexual only donors so there would only be about 8 to choose from. I asked how long it would be before we could see all the donors and was told it would be a few more months away. I thought once you got to the top of the list that was it you could pick anyone. I'm ringing tomorrow so ill ask again

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    Well I wasn't expecting that to happen.... Kirsty sent through our access to choose donor sperm, and I was so excited about it!! I hung out, until after DH came home and had dinner, so we could go on it together. And to cut a long, one hour searching story short, we didn't fall in love with anyone on the donor list, and finished up not choosing anyone and very disappointed :-(( I just thought there would be ac ouple we would like and that we would whittle it down and choose one. But it wasn't the case. The main problem was that though there are 24 to choose from (combination of Australian and American donors), there were actually only 11 caucasian - the others were Chinese, Indonesian, Greek, Maltese etc. One would only donate to Jewish people, a couple of others were dark skinned or dark haired, and the rest smoked heaps (that I'm more opposed to than dark haired!) DH and I both came away a bit dejected to say the least - now we don't know what to do. We will have another look tomorrow and go through the whole lot again, and hope that maybe we like someone who didn't jump out last night. If not, I don't know - change clinics and hope there's someone we like on the list at Fertility First or somewhere else, or reconsider finding someone we know to ask for sperm. The situation now seems more dire than ever - definitely can't pregnant without some sperm!!

  4. #114
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    Oh no Bertie!! I hope you find someone when you look again. I was so looking forward to finding one as well when we look next week, now im scared!!! I think all we are looking for is a Caucasian with brown hair and eyes. I'm off to work now but just wanted to say I hope the second look is better!!!

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    What features are you looking for in particular?

  6. #116
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    Well, DH and I had another look at the list last night and decided to work through it much more methodical, making ourselves up a spreadsheet of our preferences, putting the definite "no" donors on a different page away from the 10 caucasians. This worked better, and after eliminating dark haired and dark skinned (both DH and I are fair skinned, so an olive skinned baby would look out of place). After looking closely last night we realised that the USA have "medium" skin (halfway between fair and olive) so we put these people back in. We like one of the "smokers" (apart from the smoking part!!) and wonder whether or not his smoking has made any impact on his sperm? I would like to think not, but I'm really against smoking and think I will remember this forever. So, happily in the end, last night we have 3 candidates (plus the smoker!). Tonight we will read over these 3-4 closely and are going to make a choice. Feeling much happier about it, and so glad that we didn't make any rash decisions on the first night.

    Also, here's something I only found out this week from Kirsty and the website - yes, I knew you can "reserve" the same donor sperm for future children, however if that donor is from the USA you have to pay an up-front reservation/access fee of $2500 to hold that sperm indefinitely (whether or not you end up using it later). I think that would make people try to chose Australian sperm, but most of them were Chinese. For us, I think we will be lucky to have one baby, so I don't think we'll worry about reserving that, as it seems a huge amount of money.

  7. #117
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    Veritas is offline Diversity has value.... How boring would the world be if everyone was just like you...
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    MGC I had no idea about that for us donors. Thankfully we ended up with an Aussie, mind you the stingey part of me was glad for that being that the cost for it was cheaper!

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    Wow I didn't know about that either. Does fertility first have the same sort of fees?

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    Wow I didn't now about that either. Does Fertility First have the same sort of fees for US donors?

  10. #120
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    Veritas is offline Diversity has value.... How boring would the world be if everyone was just like you...
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    Fertility first is a $900 fee per lot of sperm. If you want to reserve you have to buy more vials up front and pay to have them stored. You can only do that with them once you have a live birth with that sperm.


 

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