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  1. #11
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    I hate when people (my DP included) expects my kids to call his boss or friends uncle. I always correct him and if they are just his friends they get called by their names if its his boss he gets Mr XYZ.
    He tries to call my cousin Aunty for the kids but Im like NO she is my cousin, NOT their aunty.
    For me, its a privalage to have a title. Someone close to the kids. Grandparents get one and great grandparents, aunty and uncle's, but anyone else is a name.

  2. #12
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    Default Opinions on courtesy aunts and uncles and DH cousin who tries to imply she is a siste

    Quote Originally Posted by Grebbeci View Post
    I think we are going to try and take the tact of just referring to her as xyz, without the Aunty and if/when someone says something about it then we will explain that due to the number of genuine aunts and uncles in the family then only actual aunts and uncles will be called as such.

    TBH it would probably not bug me so much if either of us had any sort of respect for her, but we don't.

    ETA - basically the deal will be aunts and uncles or great aunts and uncles will be referred to as aunts or uncles, cousins and close family friends get first names, acquaintances will get Mr or Mrs or Miss XYZ. I have 80+ cousins and second cousins on my mums side alone. Can you imagine calling them all aunt and uncle.
    That sounds like a great idea. I do the non-family aunt/uncle thing, but only with close friends. Anyone who styles themselves Aunt or Uncle gets shot down pretty quickly by DS!

  3. #13
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    Well sounds like i'm a minority but My kids only call their 2 aunts (my sisters we have nothing to do with Dh's family) Aunt and their husbands Uncle no one else is an aunt or uncle because they just aren't i believe being an aunt is special and i think it takes the specialness away by adding friends or other family members to that title.

    I would just always refer to her as xyz and not aunty and if she corrects just ignore her and always tell your child when she leaves that she isn't your aunty honey abc is your aunt/uncle just to clarify for the child

  4. #14
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Default Opinions on courtesy aunts and uncles and DH cousin who tries to imply she is a siste

    Quote Originally Posted by Tutu & Lulu View Post
    Well sounds like i'm a minority but My kids only call their 2 aunts (my sisters we have nothing to do with Dh's family) Aunt and their husbands Uncle no one else is an aunt or uncle because they just aren't i believe being an aunt is special and i think it takes the specialness away by adding friends or other family members to that title.

    I would just always refer to her as xyz and not aunty and if she corrects just ignore her and always tell your child when she leaves that she isn't your aunty honey abc is your aunt/uncle just to clarify for the child
    This ^^^ I must be in the minority too cos it drives me nuts when people refer to THEMSELVES as aunty or uncle when they're really not.

    XH's cousin and his wife refer to themselves as uncle and aunty to my kids and I have said to them, 'you're their 2nd cousins, not aunt and uncle' Gah!!! Still happens, I just correct the kids if I hear them say it.

  5. #15
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    Def agree with you Tutu & Lulu and Hugs bunny.

    Cleigh - I agree that it's a privilege to have a title. I was so stoked when I became an aunty.

  6. #16
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    I had friends who when I was pregnant announced they'd like to be called Aunty/Uncle. We just left it alone and when our baby was born just referred to them by their name only and they never brought it up again. aunts and uncles are aunts and uncles, friends are friends and cousins are cousins.

    As far as the cousin goes...does you husbands brothers/sister's have kids that call her aunty? How often do you see this cousin? If you are all together regularly and your child is the only one out of the kids not calling her aunty do you think that your child might feel left out? You said that your DH's cousin calls your IL's mum and dad but do they see her as their daughter, or does she just say mum/dad as a term of endearment towards them? I guess that would be what I would be weighing up in my mind. If she was considered a daughter/sister by the rest of the family then I'd probably just call her aunty and let my kids make up their own mind. It comes down to the 'you can't choose your family type of thing' and you could argue that she isn't a blood relative but neither are any of the aunts/uncles who made it in to the family through marriage who will get that title. If you didn't like, say your brother's wife (or sister's husband...whatever you have) would you not call them aunt/uncle based on the fact that you didn't like them? My kids still call my BIL and SIL aunt/uncle even though as an aunt and uncle they truly suck. My poor kids got a raw end of the deal when it comes to family. Very small family, only two aunty's and uncle's and the aunty and uncle who do love and take an interest of them live forever away, and the aunty and uncle who barely see them live ten minutes away. They never get to see their cousin's either...I possibly should have adopted the friends as aunty's/uncle's thing to make our family look bigger!! haha

    So in short, if she calls your IL's mum/dad/sister/brother but they don't reciprocate by calling her daughter/sister then no I wouldn't worry. If she is considered a sister/daughter by everyone and you just simply don't like her then I think I'd still give her the aunty title if it was my child (I do understand where you are coming from though. I really wish I didn't have to give my IL's their titles because they don't deserve them as far as I'm concerned). Don't worry about your child getting confused by it...they'll get to an age where they understand that she isn't a 'real' aunty. Our family is a bit confusing...grandma's all over the country (who are all called grandma) but by the time my kids have turned 4 they've been able to understand it.
    Last edited by Wastingtime; 12-09-2012 at 11:14.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    I hate when people (my DP included) expects my kids to call his boss or friends uncle. I always correct him and if they are just his friends they get called by their names if its his boss he gets Mr XYZ.
    He tries to call my cousin Aunty for the kids but Im like NO she is my cousin, NOT their aunty.
    For me, its a privalage to have a title. Someone close to the kids. Grandparents get one and great grandparents, aunty and uncle's, but anyone else is a name.
    Sorry didn't see your post before i posted. I completely agree my kids aunties are special to them and i'm not lucky enough to be an aunty yet but i'm eagerly awaiting my first niece or nephews arrival in early october

  8. #18
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    Default Opinions on courtesy aunts and uncles and DH cousin who tries to imply she is a siste

    Quote Originally Posted by Tutu & Lulu View Post
    Well sounds like i'm a minority but My kids only call their 2 aunts (my sisters we have nothing to do with Dh's family) Aunt and their husbands Uncle no one else is an aunt or uncle because they just aren't i believe being an aunt is special and i think it takes the specialness away by adding friends or other family members to that title.

    I would just always refer to her as xyz and not aunty and if she corrects just ignore her and always tell your child when she leaves that she isn't your aunty honey abc is your aunt/uncle just to clarify for the child
    Same here ... Only my dh and my siblings and partners are referred to as uncle/aunty ... Also our aunts/uncles are called uncle/aunty by our kids. Our only exception is one of my cousins who I grew up very closely with and is like a brother to me and is very close to our kids are uncle/aunties.

  9. #19
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    Default Opinions on courtesy aunts and uncles and DH cousin who tries to imply she is a siste

    DH grew up calling his parents close friends aunty and uncle such n such despite having a heck of a lot of real aunties and uncles.

    I on the other hand called my parents friends by their names and aunty and uncle were only used for the real thing.

    Ive had many conversations with DH about it and we've come to the agreement that the kids godparents are the only ones who get the right to be called aunty and uncle other than their real ones of course.

    In your situation id just ignore her requests and conspire with DH to just correct her to your child whenever she or anyone else tries to call her aunty.

  10. #20
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    Default Opinions on courtesy aunts and uncles and DH cousin who tries to imply she is a siste

    I might be the exception, but I have heaps of friends who I refer to as Aunty/ Uncle and they call themselves that too. I love it! We don't have huge extended families so it spreads the love a bit and we are close to lots of our church family so I love calling them Aunty/ uncle as well.


 

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