Op I just wanted to say I hope you are feeling more clear about your decision. I only read your first post and the first thing that came to mind to me was that if it were me, I'd want to stay in a familiar place. Dh works FIFO and had an opportunity to work in WA (we're in brissie) with relocation paid for and it came down to the fact that I am settled here. I have family close by and friends. It is easier to cope with being 'alone' while dh is at work when you don't feel so alone if you know what I mean. Dh would have been working away anyways so why upheave everything! You will make the right decision for your family though!
can you tell me if you end up just getting use to it? I sound like a sook don't I? Or even how long until I settle in to this new way of life.
Hi LoCo, my husband is FIFO. We are in SA and he works in WA. He does 4 weeks on and 1 week off. He's been doing it for about 6 years and we recently had our first child. She is 3 and a half months old now. It is hard to do it by yourself but you do get used to it and it does get easier. It's good if you have good support from family and friends. I personally think it is harder for my DH than it is for me because he misses our DD so much. I think you just learn to live with it and do what you have to do!
Yay that's good news!! 2:1 will be absolutely fine! I am the biggest sook in the world. Dh started doing FIFO when dd was about 4 months old and he pretty much got a job, left 2 days later so I had no time to get my head around it. His first stint was 3 weeks away and only 4 days back!!! I cried on and off for 2 weeks!! It was terrible BUT we got through it. And now any roster he has which is less than that is an absolute breeze!! Dh now does 10:6 which is easy compared to what he had when he started.
I will be honest with you and say it took me a while to settle into FIFO life. I hated being home alone and I never thought I'd be used to it. It took me about 2 'swings' to get used to it and now I am absolutely fine! There is a website fifofamilies who have regular meetups. It's nice to meet with people in a similar situation as I don't think people who have 'regular' jobs understand the benefits and struggles of FIFO. If im feeling down or over it I think about the one dh gets at home with dd. when he worked in Brisbane he was home when she was asleep and gone before she woke up so only saw her on weekends! Now he has full days with her to do fun stuff! Where do you live? You should join the FIFO meetup group!
I'm not fifo but my DH work away a lot and we have done a few 3 month stretches, i'm 3/4 the way through one atm. I find it hard to start with but once you get into a routine it gets a lot easier. I'm at the point now where i am so used to him being gone that it just feels normal and i get on with it as best i can. 3 months is a long time but not that long, it goes quicker than you would think. Having things to look forward to also helps and not thinking too much about how long it be until he is home.
I don't think you are being a sook at all, you have been very open on here about your "struggles" (for want of a better word) and I can completely understand how this would be daunting for you .
Would it be a good idea to look for a regular babysitter/nanny share or something like that so you at least have some support for part of the time he is away? Even if it's just temporarily, for a few weeks, until you settle into the new routine. I have no idea what it costs or what your finances are like but if you could afford it, I think it would be a good investment. I can't imagine how I would cope if dh had to travel like that
**Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**
Thank you girls your replies ALL mean so much. I'm getting better I just can't talk to him to many times a day. Yes I know I sound pathetic but it's helping. He misses the baby so so much so i have been trying to work out a way to fly over in the next few weeks even for a couple of days.
I will look at joining that group that sounds great.
Gothel DH is really funny about strangers looking after our bub (he's worse than me ha) my mums been actually trying to help out so maybe all of this saga gets us close again.
Thanks again for all this info.
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