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  1. #1
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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    I had a high risk for chromosome abnormality diagnosed at my 12 week scan. DH and I were devastated. The CVS done 2 days later was positive for an abnormality. Most bubs with this trisomy die in utero and all by age
    1. I don't feel strong enough to keep carrying my bub and possibly have to deliver a stillborn or even if they make it to full term then have to say goodbye and explain it all to my other kids (2 and 4yo).
    I am now just 13 weeks. We made the difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy but didn't realize it can't be done in hospital. I had to wait a week to get into a clinic that will do it. I feel so bad already. I wanted this bub so much! I now feel like a criminal for having this procedure. I thought my obs would do this procedure in hospital but I have to go to this clinic and have some doctor I've never met do it. Possibly have to face protesters outside.
    Feel sick having to do this and can't talk to anyone about it. If I'd simply miscarried I could tell people why I am so sad, but I just can't explain this.
    Can anyone tell me what the procedure is like? Will I ever feel better? Help

  2. #2
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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    No advice or knowledge but couldn't read and not reply. Hugs hun. Such a hard decision. Your in my thoughts.

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

  4. #3
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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    Hi.
    So so sorry to hear about your trisomy diagnosis.
    I had a very similar diagnosis of triploidy in late 2007 at my 12 week scan.
    I actually chose (with my ob's support and recommendation) to be induce and give birth vaginally. Which I did at 16 weeks. It took 4 weeks for all tests to be performed and confirmed.
    She was extremely tiny and they are fairly confident she had already passed a few days prior.
    We were able to hold her though and named her. The hospital were amazing!
    We had her cremated and celebrate her existence every year on her birth date.
    I should have sort some ongoing grief counselling as I struggled with a lot of guilt and confusion about "her" (the fact that I wasn't sure I was allowed to think of her as a real baby).
    I have since however and feel at peace with my grief and sadness for her.
    Please seek some counselling now and explore all your options.
    Wishing you strength.

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    You are not a horrible person. You are an intelligent person who has looked at what you have been confronted with and made a valid decision based on that information.

    That, to me, does not a horrible person make.

    I am do sorry that you had to make the choice however. It must be horrible to want a baby and be faced with that kind of choice.

    Great big hugs.

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

  8. #5
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    Cuddles xxx I am so sorry you are going thro this xxxx you are most def NOT a horrible person. If those people are there and they confront you, you should try and raise your head up high and walk past without a word or a glance. They don't know your situation. They don't know what reasons you will be going. Big cuddles and try and stay strong. And think its for the best xxxxx

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    So sorry that fate threw you this terrible curve ball. You are in a terrible situation, I dont think anyone could criticise you. Perhaps doing what brussel did would help: find someway to remember bub and seek counseling.
    Xxx

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

  12. #7
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    You are not a horrible person. Your child has a disorder which has extremely poor or non existent life expectancy and you are trying to do what is right. My thoughts are with you and your family

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    No you are definitely not a horrible person, no way! Big hugs xxxx

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    I am so terribly sorry for what you're going through.

    I can't offer personal experience but I believe there's a section on this forum " support for medically necessary termination" - I hope you can find some information there about the procedure. Hugs xxx

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)

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    Default I feel like such a bad person

    I'm sorry.
    I just read back my reply about my similar experience and I hope I haven't upset you further.
    You just sounded so upset with what had been recommended to you I just wanted to make sure you realised there are other options.
    I just strongly suggest seeking counselling ASAP.

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    Pants  (11-09-2012)


 

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