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  1. #1
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    Default Advice for friend regarding FIFO

    One of my good friends has a partner who is FIFO when he can. He lives in X and visits home when he gets time off work so atm its about 4wks on, 1 off from what I can gather with when he has flew in and out.

    She called this morning really upset as she thinks her relationship is quite unstable atm. They have no children but she is finding it hard to deal with. Last night they had a fight about him being FIFO. He didn't say goodnight to her last night and he didn't say goodbye this morning, he texted her he would find his own way to the airport yet they still shared bed last night.

    She texted me this morning saying she wanted to talk to me so I called her straight away. She is coming over for a little bit after work tonight if she can make it as Mondays are super busy for her.

    He has only been FIFO for about 3mths.

    What advice can I give to her that will help possibly as I didn't know what to say to her this morning.

    Thanks

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think it's a bit hard to adjust in the beginning especially given his roster is so long. I would just reassure her that both their feelings are normal and to not take too much to heart re the not saying goodbye thing. Communication can be really tricky when your in a fifo relationship especially when emotions are running high and it can be hard having to be so independent for so long and then suddenly having him back, it takes a lot of getting use too.

    Of course it's hard to give advice when you don't really know the situation there might be other things at play that are causing issues. I hope I have helped somewhat.

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    Default Advice for friend regarding FIFO

    It is definitely hard to adjust to FIFO. It can put a strain on relationships if both people aren't on board with it. Being the one at home is hard as you get lonely but you also have to think of the one that's away and how hard it is on them. They are working very long shifts, living away from home in a strange environment, away from all family and friends.

    Communication is the key. Set up times when you can talk on phone/Skype when the partner is away. When they are home, have a date night.

    It's a huge adjustment all round but won't work if 1 or both aren't happy about it. Sounds like they need to sit down and have a good talk.


 

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