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  1. #91
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    What do you mean off site? You mean with people at home?

    The only one continuing this is you.

  2. #92
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    I would remove my child from the restaurant.

    Then we would go home and have a big talk.. I would be quite shocked if any of my kids acted like that ...so would be questioning why?

    I have a red, orange, green system.. so it would have been stopped at orange.

  3. #93
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    Default Re: How would you respond if your child...

    Quote Originally Posted by Blossompossum View Post
    Typical bub hub. Gets turned into a huge debate. Can't you all just answer the question and leave it at that
    Er, not when people are saying they would slap and hit a 5 year old over the head.

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    Default Re: How would you respond if your child...

    Err.. this thread went badly!
    My Child.. would be embarrassed yep.. because I would tell them off for behaving like a two year old and drag them out of the restaurant, kicking and screaming if need be. If they JUST were running around yelling I would take them outside and speak to them, and give them a warning.. but spitting and hitting.. no way would I tolerate that. I personally would be quite concerned if any 5 year old behaved that way though and probably seek professional help.
    I'm not a smacker but I'm not into all this gentle parenting stuff either. I shout, use time out and good old punishments like no tv for the week etc. But I'm also not an idiot and I tend to agree that this sort of acting out would be coming from somewhere and the parent and child probably need to develop some better tools to deal with these situations.

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    Wow, some of these answers are really upsetting. I can't be certain how I would handle it, but I know I wouldn't be trying to embarrass a 5 year old, or causing them pain to try and send a message about being gentle with others.

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    Default How would you respond if your child...

    I understand kirby in a sense. If someone spat in my face it would take a great deal of control not to react that way. But as a parent it's my job to stay in control. If my child spat in my face, he probably would get a smack on the bum, then given a lecture on how that behaviour is disgusting and inappropriate. Then some sort of punishment (toys taken away, no tv etc) when we got home Same if they were continually hitting me over the head. However, I would have left before the behaviour had escalated to that point.
    Running around being noisy, well I'd sit them down and explain that the behaviour is unacceptable and if it continued we would leave.

    That's how I THINK I'd react. However, I'd hope by the age of 5 I'd taught him a bit of respect and social skills.

  8. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tainted View Post
    Wow, some of these answers are really upsetting. I can't be certain how I would handle it, but I know I wouldn't be trying to embarrass a 5 year old, or causing them pain to try and send a message about being gentle with others.
    agreed!

  9. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    I understand kirby in a sense. If someone spat in my face it would take a great deal of control not to react that way. But as a parent it's my job to stay in control. If my child spat in my face, he probably would get a smack on the bum, then given a lecture on how that behaviour is disgusting and inappropriate. Then some sort of punishment (toys taken away, no tv etc) when we got home Same if they were continually hitting me over the head. However, I would have left before the behaviour had escalated to that point.
    Running around being noisy, well I'd sit them down and explain that the behaviour is unacceptable and if it continued we would leave.

    That's how I THINK I'd react. However, I'd hope by the age of 5 I'd taught him a bit of respect and social skills.

    The thing that i dont get about the whole i would also slap an adult that did that etc etc is that an adult has a different level or social grace than an adult an adult has a different level of understanding a different IQ level, is different in just about any way to an child unless of course it is a person with a diminished mental capacity having them function like a child. Now that being said if we expect a child to behave in a certain way and control there own action shouldnt as adults we be able to do that as well. If not then who the heck are we expecting to teach our children how to do this???

    Now if a child in my care or an adult in my care with a diminished mental status was to spit in my face or do any of the other things that you was mentioned i would follow the same method of reason and disipline that i explained in my above post ( following ABA stratergies, of remove from the situation break down what happened, work out trigger, in tern come out with consequence, alternate response and in tern reward one the alternate response to what ever made them act that way has been acheived ) the reason i would do this for an child and an adult in my care with diminished mental status is because the two have not got the same level of understanding as my self or another fully functioning adult.

    If a adult in my company did that to me i would simply remove my self from teh situation as I would not have to be around such a person there is no way no how that i would want to socialise with such a person so, ME being a fully functioning adult being in control of my thoughts, feeling and actions and them being a fully functioning adult in control of there thoughts feelings and actions, I would Just up and leave because I can do that you cant do that with a child you cant do that with an adult under your care.

    It is impossible to compare the two for the simple fact they are not the same

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    Default Re: How would you respond if your child...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tainted View Post
    Wow, some of these answers are really upsetting. I can't be certain how I would handle it, but I know I wouldn't be trying to embarrass a 5 year old, or causing them pain to try and send a message about being gentle with others.
    Please tell Me how you would deal with this without embarrassing your child?! Why shouldn't the child be embarrassed by their behavior?

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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    I'm not a smacker but I'm not into all this gentle parenting stuff either.
    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub
    Yup, this. There has to be a balance, a happy medium. I have seen over time so many parents who are so anti yelling etc that their children are little monsters and the mothers are all "sweetheart, we don't smother the baby, it isn't nice" blah, blah.

    I personally find smacking ineffective, I was smacked as a child - didn't scar me, I assure you. I also wasn't scared of my dad. But It just doesn't work. But if my child did that in a restaurant - special needs or not. I would pay for the meal, apologise, up and leave that instant, and my child would lose every thing he loves for 2 weeks, he then would have to earn it back with his sticker chart. I would also be unlikely to take him to out to a meal again.


 

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