Okay...I misinterpreted your original post. In that case the parent is really making a decision based not on their child fitting in or being popular, but rather on their need to fit in with the cool and popular parents at said school of status? Lol or are they makings choice because society will respect the education their child will receive at that school and want to give their kidsth est possible opportunities in life?
Sorry, I just wonder if you have interpreted all of your different friends choices as wanting their children to be popular when they are just wanting their kids to be the happiest they can be with the best opportunities in life...
I'm a bit all over the place on this subject. On one hand I want my kids to value more than popularity and 'stuff'. But then growing up, I had vinnies clothes (back when it wasn't cool to shop there like now), cheap runners. I wasn't allow to dye or perm my hair.... we are talking early 90's here btw lol
So while I try and instill in my kids that their personality is what counts and who cares about being popular... I'm also really funny about their school stuff. DD has nike runners and clark shoes that are chucked at the first sign of wear. There is no 2nd hand uniforms. They have good school bags, and cool bday parties. Not to make them popular, but to spare them the taunting of looking 'poor'. DH also grew up very poor, and likewise was teased for vinnies clothes so likes the kids to look decent with good quality stuff.
So after all that we walk a tightrope of trying not to have them picked on, but also try to make them leaders not followers.
Like I said though, they love their kids so ultimately they're trying to make the best choice for them, just perhaps based on their own personal values system or life experience. All fine really, just interesting how different people view it
It's not something I've ever really thought about but I was popular at school and had a great time, and hope for my children that they are popular- in the sense that they are liked and respected by their peers. I don't think this is the same as 'cool'.
We don't do anything to try and make them popular except encourage them to be themselves as I think being genuine and 'real' usually attracts people to you anyway.
I hope my kids grow up nerds! They usually become the successful ones when school has ended. And like a pp said, once you get to uni nobody cares (depending on the course everyone are nerds anyway). I want to somehow make my kids understand that being in the cool group doesn't matter, if they have at least one good friend they are blessed.
Apart from that, I will try to avoid anything that will obviously open them up to bullying, ie when I was a kid my mum used to cut my hair in a hideous 'boy' cut. Thanks mum for scarring me for life
I think my focus will be on my children thinking about what a certain behaviour will look like to other children/people. What's socially acceptable/what's not. Just little lessons on those types of things. I couldn't care less with them being in the "popular" group.. I just don't want them picked on. If they want to be a nerd that's great.. whatever makes them happy.
I have to say... There is no way I would actually want my child to be in the popular group. We all remember the popular kids, as a whole they smoked, drank and got up to more trouble in general compared to the others.... Not to mention they were popular because they bullied others.
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