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  1. #1
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    Default dreading playdates

    I'm curious what others would do in this situation.

    DS1 is 14mths and a friend of mine has a 16mth old girl. We usually catch up once a week but I've come to dread it. My friends daughter is much more advanced and outgoing than DS and he is frequently pushed over (on purpose), hit on the head, screamed in his ears and had things grabbed out of his hands by her. DS1 is very quiet and sensitive and when my friend tells her daughter off he gets upset thinking it's him getting in trouble.

    A second issue is that my friend also doesn't let me know if they are sick until after the kids have made contact. Twice now DS1 has caught a bug from my friends daughter, the latest is gastro where my friend announced halfway through the playdate that her daughter had come down with it that morning. So I'm sitting here with a vomiting toddler and a screaming 6 week old all because they came over while she was sick. Not happy!

    What would you do? I know my friend is doing her best with her daughters behaviour and that its tricky at this age. I've come to dread the playdates as either DS has a tough time or gets sick. Would you say something, or try and avoid them?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: dreading playdates

    I'd probably just try to avoid them but I hate confrontation lol.

    How often do you have play dates ?

  3. #3
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    I have a friend like that.. (in which she brings her kids over sick all the time), now i just ask straight out if they are sick/have been sick in the last 48 hours, when she rings up to come over. weather she likes it or not (i don't care if she doesn't), i'm over having my two sick because of her two. if her two have been sick/are sick i just say straight out that sorry no, i'd rather do it next week.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: dreading playdates

    Oooh, yeah, there's no way I would be hanging out with that friend... Sometimes kids aren't compatible and I prefer for my son to have fun on a playdate, so we only hang out with people whose kids he gets along with :-)

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    Default Re: dreading playdates

    P. S if this is a long term friend I would most definitely be saying "Hey, just felt like I need to discuss something with you... Please don't take offence but from now on can we make it a deal that if either of our kids are sick, we won't catch up?"

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    Can you go to an indoor playcentre or somewhere the focus is off your kids being together??

    I have a good friend who's kids I can't stand! So that's what I do

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    You're amazing to be even considering play dates with a 6 week old and a 14 month old. For your friend to bring a child with gastro to your house when you have a 6 week old is irresponsible. Mind you, I've found out that some people are quite clueless about how contagious gastro is. I'd definitely be ringing her & let her know that your ds got sick (hope your 6 week old doesn't get sick) and letting her know that usually if a child has gastro they shouldn't go to childcare/kinder/school for at least 24 hours (preferably 48 hours) AFTER they RECOVER from gastro.

    I'd also say that you are struggling with frequent play dates and decrease the frequency - once a week is a very frequent amount. Hopefully your ds will manage better if it's infrequent.

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    Ahh i would be so annoyed. I know some people who are quite blase about illness and won't cancel plans or inform anyone even if their child is ill (gastro included) and it makes my blood boil. I now have no choice but to straight out ask 'Is anyone sick or been sick recently?' and it's ridiculous that i have to ask but i do. If i really don't want risk it i just make an excuse, some people just don't give a crap about spreading illness.


 

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