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  1. #1
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    Default Just needing support - my long story

    Hi all

    Hear goes this is my story,

    We have done all the right things and dated for 7yrs brought a house and got married secure jobs trying to do it all the right way as they say and now together for 10 yrs - I am 27 and he 28

    After trying for 4 months we feel pregnant super happy then at 6 weeks we lost it, after going to the toilet at work and bleeding really heavy then sitting at the hospital for 6 hrs they said that we had a MC could not give me any answers
    They told me it is very common but as know one talks about it I felt really alone

    I then got over that and we started trying again another few months later we got pregnant, once again we where so happy thinking this is it every thing will be ok this time.....

    After everything going really good having my apps and now coming up to 12 weeks thinking everything is ok we told both our families we where expecting so happy.
    I couple of days before my 12 week app i start having dark brown spotting no cramps after reading forums talking to ppl they all said it was mostly normal so I just thought it was ok so I just waited for my OB app

    I went to my 12 week app as being my first I did not know what exactly the app in tailed
    the OB midwife tried to find the heart beat it became apparent that there didn't not seem to be one as my heart sank, she told me my OB was on leave and I had to go for a scan at the fill in OB
    It was my worse nightmare the baby had died at approx 9 weeks after proceeding to show me on the screen the pic of the heart not beating zoomed it so much it really looked like a little person, i felt so lost and once again they could give me no answers

    I had to get a curet done the next day. it was so unreal that one day I thought I was pregnant then the next I was getting a curet, again I managed to hold it all together but as my friends and others close to me announcing there pregnancy and here I am once again having to start all over again I felt and feel so emotional

    It has now been another 4 months and still not pregnant after doing it every 2-3 days for the whole month and still nothing, this is all I want and seems to be all i think about

    I find that now that we have been through all this we seem to fighting a lot more I know that he doesn't go though the same emotions as I do but he really doesn't seem to show any emotion which makes it really hard to know if my feelings are over the top or if what i am feeling is normal especially as I get my period each month we seem to fight a lot more

    I also am nOw finding my self lying to my friends as I keep getting told my my friends (that have had kids most of them more then 1) to just stop thinking about it it will happen stop stressing which I find really irritating so I find my self just saying to them it will happen when it happens, when really in the inside I am pulling my hair out

    All I want is my own little family i would give anything
    Thank you for taking the time to read this I just needed to get it off my chest
    Best of luck to you all

  2. #2
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    Default Just needing support - my long story

    I'm sorry to hear of your losses, although I'm just beginning my journey of ttc, I just wanted to say not to lose hope and as for your husband men tend to bottle their emotions up which is very frustrating I know, but he is feeling what your feeling it may not be to the same extent but he is((HUGS)).

  3. #3
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    Default Just needing support - my long story

    Hugs to you - DH and I have only just started trying in the past few months and it is devastating. I have no advice, just wanted to send you some hugs xx

  4. #4
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    Default Just needing support - my long story

    Hi, so sorry to hear about your losses, it's very hard and you are right no one ever talk about those early miscarriages but they are no different than losing a baby in the second or third trimester or at another time for that mater... You need to grieve, and it's different for a man, not that they don't experience the loss but it's definitely different.
    Your friends are not wrong in saying to relax and it'll happen, it usually does and stress is not good for fertility and pregnancy anyway.
    Also if you're keen on another pregnancy ASAP you can get the ovulation tests, they'll tell you when you are fertile so you can get busy at the right time.
    I think you might want to investigate more on the possible reasons you miscarried, I hate how doctors just put things like that down to "it happens" there could be an issue that could be easily fixed but they'll let you go through hell before they'll think of testing.
    We also had a miscarriage but we were determined to figure out why, our OB was behind us and helped, in the end it was a one in a million issue and out of our control, we were so relieved it wasn't a genetic issue and was highly unlikely to happen again. We now have a healthy baby girl.
    Also getting pregnant and starting a family takes time and often things don't go to plan just keep on trying, and keep your relationship strong.
    Good luck

  5. #5
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    Default Just needing support - my long story

    Thank you for your support it really means a lot ;-) I am sure things will work out just some days it's seems so glim fingers crossed for this month

  6. #6
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    Default Just needing support - my long story

    When we were TTC I downloaded an app on my phone to track my periods, etc. worked for us! I'm 25wks pregnant. Good luck sweetie. Miscarriages are heartbreaking! I've had 2 myself.

  7. #7
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  8. #8
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    I'm so sorry about your losses.

    I am going through a similar thing now too.

    My husband and I went to see a counsellor after my m/c as we weren't coping. It really helped us.


  9. #9
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    Sorry for your losses, I know just how hard it can be.

    it is difficult for men, particularly when we lose them so early, they have no real attachment, it's all verbal. I know my OH just feels pain at seeing me so distressed and powerless to change it. They do feel sadness, just not necessarily the same way we do.


 

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