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  1. #1
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    Default Ex husband ongoing drug and mental health issues

    Quick recap for those that don't know me...
    Divorced 3 years
    ex has never recovered and accepted things (I ended it due to him being a prescription addict, pathological lying and steeling our money)
    We have 3 young children
    settlement and concent orders done - he has no overnight and is supposed to see the kids twice during the week and Saturday but as yet he's never done this for more than a week at a time
    earlier this year he had a huge breakdown and tried to kill himself
    I refused visitation till he got a letter from his psychologist confirming he is ok and one from his dr confirming he is safe to see/drive the kids on all those meds (he's been a prescription addict for over 30 years)
    I had to get heavy with a $olicitor but I eventually got a letter from his psychologist say he should not have unsupervised access with the two youngest and limited contact with the oldest (8)
    I never did get any info re the drugs and he brushed it off
    hes never organized supervised visitation for the two youngest so he only says hello to the when collects the oldest child one the weekend for the day
    if started to notice he's rambling mor do than usual slurring his words and tonight he got the kids names wrong on the phone while he was talking to the (and forgot our sons public speaking event he was supposed to come to) he seems vague and rambling... My do. Told me (after his last visit) 'daddy was crying today and told me if anything happens to him like he dies etc then to remember he's his son' which really annoyed me and of course my son had nightmares about death after that. I told ex off and he said he wouldn't do it again.

    On the phone tonight he was saying to our son 'I'm going to take you for a elk along the cliffs near the city (Brisbane) which terrified me as he was calling him by our other sons name.

    So okay - I know my legal standpoint - I don't have to let him take them if I feel it's not save. But my worry is my son... He will be heartbroken if I say no to going with dad and both him and his father will make me feel like crap about saying no (should ex turn up stoned) - how to I deal with my son? He's a little worrier and tonight I explained in very dims imply terms that if I felt daddy was slurring (like he just was on the phone) I can't let him go with daddy... Because I just worry about his safety' but my son said he is also now eorried soi stuffed up a bit - advice?

  2. #2
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    Default Ex husband ongoing drug and mental health issues

    Not sure how old this particular son is but if hes the 8 yr old is it possible to explain that daddy's not well and if he's acting like he was today and not thinking properly you can't let him go until daddy is feeling better?
    :big hugs:

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    Default Ex husband ongoing drug and mental health issues

    What about supervised visits while you have concerns?

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    Quote Originally Posted by daysta112 View Post
    Not sure how old this particular son is but if hes the 8 yr old is it possible to explain that daddy's not well and if he's acting like he was today and not thinking properly you can't let him go until daddy is feeling better?
    :big hugs:
    He is 8 - yes I pretty much said that to him and he started to 'worried' he told me - so I thought I stuffed up a bit?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    What about supervised visits while you have concerns?
    He was supposed to organize supervised visits for the two ltte ones (5 and 3) and never did - do he won't organize it from my oldest I think. I could really care less if he saw him but I know it really does upset my son so try to be flexible. I might suggestit buti think it's going to kick off a huge hornet nest again do am picking my battles...

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    Default Ex husband ongoing drug and mental health issues

    Quote Originally Posted by murrythecat View Post
    He was supposed to organize supervised visits for the two ltte ones (5 and 3) and never did - do he won't organize it from my oldest I think. I could really care less if he saw him but I know it really does upset my son so try to be flexible. I might suggestit buti think it's going to kick off a huge hornet nest again do am picking my battles...
    If your son really wants to see his dad, could you help organise the supervised visits? You shouldn't have to but it appears your ex is not up to it because of mental health issues. And if your kids are to have any type of relationship with their dad it might be the only way?

    Good luck it's a very difficult situation you are in..

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If your son really wants to see his dad, could you help organise the supervised visits? You shouldn't have to but it appears your ex is not up to it because of mental health issues. And if your kids are to have any type of relationship with their dad it might be the only way?

    Good luck it's a very difficult situation you are in..
    I used to with the younger ones but it made things worst re his mental health/expecting to come back and makes things very uncomfortable. My mother offered to do it but ex always says he will ring her to organize it but never does.

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    Default Ex husband ongoing drug and mental health issues

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    What about supervised visits while you have concerns?
    I agree. I would tell him you don't feel he's well enough to have the kid on his own, suggest some options and let him make the choice. It is probably stating the obvious, but he sounds suicidal. I think he's saying goodbye to the boy? Can you tell his therapist?
    In terms of what to tell the boy, it's hard and I don't think you've stuffed up. Yes the boy is worried now, but you need to be honest, while being age sensitive. Perhaps tell him daddies not well and so will need someone to help him on outings?
    Obviously I don't know the guy but the walk on the cliff makes me shudder. I think it would be very unlikely a man would jump in front of his son, but I certainly wouldn't let him go alone with dad for a cliff walk for a while. I hope it all works out for you all.

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    I have no real proof but just a gut feeling... He argues till he's blue in the face and will really harass me with calls and text etc if I stop him seeing the oldest... Perhaps I should record his rambling calls with the kids? How would I do that? I put it on speaker phone always (record with my mobile? But kids might say something?)

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    Default Ex husband ongoing drug and mental health issues

    Sorry I seem to have lost the track here....


 

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