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  1. #81
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    I was sexually abused as a child, last night I put cream on my 5 year old sons bum hole because he said it was itchy*. Is that sexual abuse? I've also parted my daughters labia to remove poo from them. Is that abuse? I've also gently retracted my other sons foreskin to see if there was and damage after he shut it in the toilet the other week and complained that it was sore. Is that abuse? I've also blown raspberries on all their bums as babies

    Ffs.

    *I've treated him and his brother for worms orally jic btw.

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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    When my kids were little I used to blow in the vicinity of their genitals to dry them off before I put their nappy off..... Never realised it could be considered abuse!!!

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    OP, I seriously wonder if you're legit - I've been on the forums for too long and am old and cynical.
    BUT.
    If you suspect abuse, call the appropriate people - a forum speculating on second hand info won't help.

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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gandalf View Post
    and even parting the labia is not automatically abuse - if you'd seen how far poo travels into some girls
    i always part the labia to make sure i've got all the poo. its a better option than the UTI's they're so prone to.
    Me too, DD gets poo everywhere & DP never cleans it all so I am careful to be bery thorough when I do. Reading this thread was making me worry I was doing something wrong to my poor munchkin! I just want her to be clean!

    I don't blow on her, but she does have nudey time twice a day - in the morning when changing out of PJs & before/after her shower in the evening. She doesn't get nappy rash, fx things stay that way!!

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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni05 View Post
    Well this was my initial thought, I am glad I'm not the only one who feels this way, even though it seems we are the minority...
    This would make me extremely uncomfortable. Tbh I am not really sure about victims of sexual abuse and if there can be a cycle..but this would trigger alarm bells to me.
    It sounds to me as if the mother thinks this is appropriate. Maybe blowing it gently but parting the labia? I personally do not consider that appropriate touching of a childs genitals.
    Extremely repulsive how the grandmother treated the now mother!
    OP You have done a good thing by questioning your reaction this means you are self aware and I am also glad that you are present in the little girls and the mothers life.
    Off to read the other responses now..

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    yesterday, DD fell on the bar of her bike..

    blood and bruising..

    I had to part it all and wipe and really look..then I had to dab at the small cut that was there..wash and check again..

    I really am glad that DD does not see this as embarrassing or bad.. Her vagina, while private is not a scary thing..
    I think OP, your feelings are totally valid...as someone who has been through abuse, and yes watching as a kid, is abuse still. You were triggered back to your memories of what happened and how helpless you felt..
    so this time you were nto helpless and you spoke out..

    I would speak to the mum and say to her that you are sorry you berated her but you just were concerned and only wanted to help.

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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    OP do you have any children?

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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    I haven't read the other posts but have to say that I think you really overreacted. If I was your friend I would be extremely offended. I think you should apologies. Sorry!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    I was sexually abused as a child, last night I put cream on my 5 year old sons bum hole because he said it was itchy*. Is that sexual abuse? I've also parted my daughters labia to remove poo from them. Is that abuse? I've also gently retracted my other sons foreskin to see if there was and damage after he shut it in the toilet the other week and complained that it was sore. Is that abuse? I've also blown raspberries on all their bums as babies

    Ffs.

    *I've treated him and his brother for worms orally jic btw.
    I kind of feel like your mocking me, it is clear you are doing all those things to care for your children so no it's not child abuse, but my concern was that she was doing it for no other purpose than to make the child happy or to please it (pleasure it) which doesn't quite sit right with me. Please don't mock me, I wouldn't mock you if you wanted advice.

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    Default ***Trigger Warning*** Is this sexual abuse?

    I wonder if some people in this thread have different understanding of what others mean when they say they blow on the nappy area to dry it. I take it as meaning to stand at the usual distance from bub (so mum standing up, with bub on the change table as normal) and just blow in the general direction to speed up the drying process. So, about 60cm away from bub.

    Those of you saying it's inappropriate or abusive, are you thinking that the blowers have their faces much closer to the skin? I don't think that is what's happening.


 

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