Closed Thread
Page 5 of 11 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 103
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    7,668
    Thanks
    5,719
    Thanked
    3,068
    Reviews
    25
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: Is this sexual abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni05 View Post
    Yes I saw this being done to the mother as I am a fair bit older than her. I'm not sure what your getting at guys, I never changed the story I added more information cause I was asked. I thought the original post was enough information and then people wanted more information like why I reacted in such a way, and age of the baby etc. but I get it now, I came here for advice and I guess I got it, it's ok to blow on your childs vagina, I honestly was not sure if that was appropriate, it seems wrong to me, but I guess it's ok if you all say its ok. I will apologise to the mother, but I mustv say you have just made me feel like an awfully horrible person for being concerned about a child.
    Dont feel horrible its nice to know there are concerned people out there But you just cant go accusing her of sexual abuse immediatley. I get youre concerned but thats such a huge thing to be accused of and if I was your friend I would have been pretty upset that you jumped to that conclusion straight away.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Purple Lily For This Useful Post:

    elleandsam  (05-09-2012)

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,515
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,242
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I think that's a radical interpretation of the text.
    The OP was pretty interesting, especially for a first post, tbh I think they might be having a bit of a lend
    Lol. It was pretty radical I suppose. My brain, even when I'm sick, apparently works different to everyone elses. It's an incredibly logical one.
    The OP had seen the mother have her genitals blown on. So, logically, she was in a position to have seen the womans genitals in that manner. There are two possibilities, either consensual sex act, or rape. Since I'm an eternal optomist, I prefered to go with the consent scenario.

  4. #43
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Is this sexual abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni05 View Post
    Yes I saw this being done to the mother as I am a fair bit older than her. I'm not sure what your getting at guys, I never changed the story I added more information cause I was asked. I thought the original post was enough information and then people wanted more information like why I reacted in such a way, and age of the baby etc. but I get it now, I came here for advice and I guess I got it, it's ok to blow on your childs vagina, I honestly was not sure if that was appropriate, it seems wrong to me, but I guess it's ok if you all say its ok. I will apologise to the mother, but I mustv say you have just made me feel like an awfully horrible person for being concerned about a child.
    How did you see it? Who did it? Why were you there? What's your relationship with the mother? You have to appreciate the fact that this all sounds incredibly bizarre.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to faroutbrusselsprout For This Useful Post:

    Gandalf  (04-09-2012)

  6. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    I'm sorry did I make it sound like I had a sexual relationship with the mother? No the grandmother of the baby used to blow on and touch the mothers genitals when she was a baby through to when she was a toddler, and she also used to grab at the mothers vagina and breasts when she was growing up right into teenage years the grandmother always treated it as a joke. I thought it was inappropriate at the time, but as I was not sure about how to raise children myself at the time as I had never had any of my own I never questioned it. I had actually forgotten all about it until i saw it again today. I was concerned that it was going to be a cycle, and because i thought it was abuse I was worried. But now I am being told its not abuse so i guess I have to change my whole way of thinking about these things.

  7. #45
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    2,297
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    218
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Is this sexual abuse?

    Errr I'll openly admit that I sometimes blow on the skin around DD's vagina - from a distance - after I've wiped her, mainly when I've just used the last wipes in the packet as they seem to always be really wet compared to the first few, and I do this to dry her skin quicker while I fan the top of her nappy too. Nothing sexual about it at all, and if anyone told me off or berated me for doing it they'd cop a mouthful back from me.

  8. #46
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,395
    Thanks
    5,361
    Thanked
    892
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So maybe its a cultural thing? if that's the way she was raised to do nappy changes.

    its certainly been done before in this household. shock. horror.
    especially for nappy rash if there's no fan around.

    i've also blown raspberries on the upper thigh and bum area.

  9. #47
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,515
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,242
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deni05 View Post
    I'm sorry did I make it sound like I had a sexual relationship with the mother? No the grandmother of the baby used to blow on and touch the mothers genitals when she was a baby through to when she was a toddler, and she also used to grab at the mothers vagina and breasts when she was growing up right into teenage years the grandmother always treated it as a joke. I thought it was inappropriate at the time, but as I was not sure about how to raise children myself at the time as I had never had any of my own I never questioned it. I had actually forgotten all about it until i saw it again today. I was concerned that it was going to be a cycle, and because i thought it was abuse I was worried. But now I am being told its not abuse so i guess I have to change my whole way of thinking about these things.
    I did say I'm an eternal optomist and prefered to believe you were in a sexual relationship with her at some point, rather than witness rape/abuse of someone. Clearly, I was incorrect.
    And I will ALWAYS class someone touching/blowing a childs vagina, particularly into teenage years, as abuse. - -;

  10. #48
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    What the heck?? What adult blows on a childs genitals? I don't care what the 'reason' is it is plain weird and inappropriate. And the fact she thinks it's ok has me concerned for her parenting abilities.

    Haven't people heard of towells?
    Well this was my initial thought, I am glad I'm not the only one who feels this way, even though it seems we are the minority...

  11. #49
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    12,441
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked
    91
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    If the mother has been abused herself it dosn't mean she will become an abuser.

    I doubt that your friend needed berating for blowing dry the child during a nappy change, it didn't sound as though she was doing it for sexual pleasure so there was probably no need to have a go at her. Perhaps you could have just joked with her about how innapropriate it was instead.

  12. #50
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,515
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,242
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by OM View Post
    If the mother has been abused herself it dosn't mean she will become an abuser.

    I doubt that your friend needed berating for blowing dry the child during a nappy change, it didn't sound as though she was doing it for sexual pleasure so there was probably no need to have a go at her. Perhaps you could have just joked with her about how innapropriate it was instead.
    However, if this happened to the mother into teenage years, then it was abuse. The mother is repeating the cycle of abuse, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Hers was normalised and treated as a joke, so she may think it's perfectly normal to have access to your childs genitals in such a way.

    Whether you think it is or not, it's still abuse. If she grew up thinking it was normal, then it's understandable that she wouldn't know any different, even til now, but it's still a cycle of abuse.

    ETA: For the people who think it's perfectly normal and do it to their own children, would you be comfortable with someone else doing it? Say, a child care worker at nappy change time, or a grandmother, aunt, uncle, or one of your friends?
    Last edited by Jennaisme; 04-09-2012 at 20:48.


 
Closed Thread
Page 5 of 11 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Cycle of abuse.. **trigger warning** child abuse
    By Ishtyban in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-09-2012, 07:53
  2. This is very sad, TRIGGER WARNING
    By fairyflossfairy in forum News & Current Affairs
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-07-2012, 13:42

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
L'il Aussie Prems Foundation
An Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high risk of giving birth prematurely, who have babies currently in hospital and families with toddlers who were born too soon.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!