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  1. #21
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    Default Is this sexual abuse?

    In your OP you state you're not sure whether you overreacted or not and when people say you did you change your story...

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    Default Is this sexual abuse?

    Over reaction I think. I wave my hand and blow air to get the area dry before trying to put on a nappy.

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    Default Re: Is this sexual abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni05 View Post
    No she put her face in close and blew directly onto the area between her labia. She did it so innocently so no I dont think she even realised what she was doing, but I have seen it done before, infact I have seen it done on the mother and the person who did it to her did a lot of other things I thought were really inappopriate. I'm just hoping she is not going to repeat these behaviours...
    I know youre feeling concerned but just because theres abuse in the family doesnt mean she will become the abuser. Not everybody who has been sexually abused will continue to do it to their children...thats an awful assumption considering some of the most loving and empathetic mothers out there are ones who have been abused. I know youre concerned and thats fine but yelling at her wouldnt acheive anything.

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    Default Re: Is this sexual abuse?

    Total over reaction. If that was me I would've snapped back.

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    Default Re: Is this sexual abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Lily View Post
    I know youre feeling concerned but just because theres abuse in the family doesnt mean she will become the abuser. Not everybody who has been sexually abused will continue to do it to their children...thats an awful assumption considering some of the most loving and empathetic mothers out there are ones who have been abused. I know youre concerned and thats fine but yelling at her wouldnt acheive anything.

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    Couldn't agree more!

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  7. #26
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    jbish is offline “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr Seuss
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    I too have fanned the area and blown a bit to get my little one dry before putting a nappy on, if a friend saw me do that and accused me of sexual abuse, i'd flip my lid! I find it very odd that you reacted the way you did. And as others have stated, you asked for opinions but added to the story when you didn't hear what you wanted... very strange.

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    When I say i berated her I didnt yell or scream at her I just told her firmly that it wasn't appropriate and could be considered sexual assault by some people and she shouldnt be doing it just because she likes it. Then she said she did it because she wanted to dry her and I said ok. but I was still concerned about whay she did it. I'm not reporting it because I truly think she felt like she wasnt doing anything wrong and maybe needs to be re-educated about what is appropriate, but now after all this feedback I'm second guessing what I think is appropriate.

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    I think if you have seen the mother, get blown on..

    then maybe there is some damage to you..and it triggered a reaction in you.

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    Default Is this sexual abuse?

    I will blow If my dd has a nappy rash to dry the area before putting cream and a nappy on. Iv never once thought of it as a form of sexual abuse!!

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    Honestly, it's better to ask forgiveness if you think there's something bad going on. I dunno why people are focusing on your s3x life? Seems a tad strange.
    Anyway, if you did tell her firmly it's not appropriate, then no, it's not an over-reaction. Well done for saying SOMETHING if you suspect sexual abuse, rather than finding out years down the track that the child was abused and you, quite literally, stood by and watched.
    If she's not abusing her daughter, then apologise, etc, but I'd be glad to have someone like you in my life. It means someone's looking out for my daughter.


 

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