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  1. #71
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    No, I fight my own battles 99% of the time, I'm a big girl. There was one occasion though where a girl that was quite mentally unstable wouldn't get the hint the friendship was over, so i asked my DH to tell her to p*ss off when she came around.

  2. #72
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Oh not sure if this is relevant but I have emailed hubby's work when they stuffed his pay up. Not really a battle. Although when his previous boss treated him terribly I wanted to call but that would of humiliated and emasculated him. It's so hard coz I am so confrontational!

  3. #73
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    I've dealt with employers looking to hire young staff, apprentices etc through a past job, and yes it came up as an issue - they didn't want parents calling or attending interviews with their kids. You might have the best intentions, but they are making a judgement when they see your involvement. Maybe an incorrect one, but they will make it anyway. Obviously not always, but in the majority of cases, you may be jeopardising your child's chances of getting that job if you are seen as being too involved in the job seeking process.

    As for original question, I wouldn't want DH to fight my battles for me, but to support me and give advice on how to deal with the fights

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    jez  (06-09-2012)

  5. #74
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ellymoe View Post
    I've dealt with employers looking to hire young staff, apprentices etc through a past job, and yes it came up as an issue - they didn't want parents calling or attending interviews with their kids. You might have the best intentions, but they are making a judgement when they see your involvement. Maybe an incorrect one, but they will make it anyway. Obviously not always, but in the majority of cases, you may be jeopardising your child's chances of getting that job if you are seen as being too involved in the job seeking process.

    As for original question, I wouldn't want DH to fight my battles for me, but to support me and give advice on how to deal with the fights
    I agree going to an interview is wrong, I was just referring to a parent attending with a young teen when they hand in an application.
    Last edited by Atropos; 06-09-2012 at 06:52.

  6. #75
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    It was basically the thought process of 'I want to hire you, not hire you and your mum's hand that it looks like you need to hold.' I don't know, like I said before, I've been working full time since I was 15 years old and was getting myself to and from school, at 16 I was working in a job and volunteering in another job (that I thought was the profession I was going in to). At 17 and 18 I was going to interviews and handing in resumes left, right and centre desperately trying to get in to the field of work I was interested in. I secured a job in that field at 18, after being interviewed by 8 people. I just can't imagine what my parents would need to see or why they would need to get personally involved. They helped me with things like what to say, do and wear etc. but once I was there I was on my own.
    At the end of the day, businesses do get to decide who they want to hire, people who came in with their mum, and people who put zero effort in to their appearance when handing in their resume or application weren't given a look in. One particular place, every time a job was advertised about 50 people would apply, if you presented yourself nicely and came in by yourself your resume/application got looked at. If it didn't, it was binned.
    Considering I've worked in a variety of places (big chains and small businesses) and this has been common practice in all of them I don't think it's that uncommon.
    I've been working since age 14. 17-18 is different to 14! It was when I was 14 that mum came in, she just wanted to see it was a proper practice, nothing dodgy. She didn't get "personally involved", just walked in with me. She didnt say a word jut waited for me and looked around. At 16 i was working in a food store, it was very common for young teens to apply with parents present and I never saw it held against them. I then moved on to working for a charitable organisation and again saw teens (young teens) apply with parents in tow. Again, never an issue, hence my confusion at what you say is common practice. Nowhere I have worked has binned someone's application because their parent came in while they dropped it off. I've never heard a bad thing said bout it til now IYKWIM.

  7. #76
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    I wouldn't bin an application if a parent just walked in with them to drop a resume off or asked a question about the workplace if the child is under 18 BUT when a parent rings and says ' my daughter is interested in a traineeship do you have positions avail etc' , I would respond with yes/no and this is how a traineeship works and if your daughter would like to apply she will need to contact me herself etc. if the parent still gets involved from that point to apply for them then I would not consider their application. it shows the child does not have the maturity needed for the job. but the problem lays with parents wanting to come into interviews, setting up interview times, ringing to say your a horrible boss because your child has to have next week off work for a family holiday even though you have denied their leave application because 3 other staff asked for leave first, screaming at you because their child didn't get paid when it was because their child did not submit a time sheet and no you can't fix it at 4.45 on a Friday. I have had partners do all of the above too and the only thing that comes of it is causing a bad relationship between the worker and the employer (or they don't get employed at all of its at interview stage).
    The only time I get my husband to fight my battles for me is if it is with his family (ongoing issues and long story) because his family intimidate me and he reinforces that to them that he won't let them mess with me.

  8. #77
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    I wouldn't bin an application if a parent just walked in with them to drop a resume off or asked a question about the workplace if the child is under 18 BUT when a parent rings and says ' my daughter is interested in a traineeship do you have positions avail etc' , I would respond with yes/no and this is how a traineeship works and if your daughter would like to apply she will need to contact me herself etc. if the parent still gets involved from that point to apply for them then I would not consider their application. it shows the child does not have the maturity needed for the job. but the problem lays with parents wanting to come into interviews, setting up interview times, ringing to say your a horrible boss because your child has to have next week off work for a family holiday even though you have denied their leave application because 3 other staff asked for leave first, screaming at you because their child didn't get paid when it was because their child did not submit a time sheet and no you can't fix it at 4.45 on a Friday. I have had partners do all of the above too and the only thing that comes of it is causing a bad relationship between the worker and the employer (or they don't get employed at all of its at interview stage).
    .
    Agree with all this

  9. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    I wouldn't bin an application if a parent just walked in with them to drop a resume off or asked a question about the workplace if the child is under 18 BUT when a parent rings and says ' my daughter is interested in a traineeship do you have positions avail etc' , I would respond with yes/no and this is how a traineeship works and if your daughter would like to apply she will need to contact me herself etc. if the parent still gets involved from that point to apply for them then I would not consider their application. it shows the child does not have the maturity needed for the job. but the problem lays with parents wanting to come into interviews, setting up interview times, ringing to say your a horrible boss because your child has to have next week off work for a family holiday even though you have denied their leave application because 3 other staff asked for leave first, screaming at you because their child didn't get paid when it was because their child did not submit a time sheet and no you can't fix it at 4.45 on a Friday. I have had partners do all of the above too and the only thing that comes of it is causing a bad relationship between the worker and the employer (or they don't get employed at all of its at interview stage).
    The only time I get my husband to fight my battles for me is if it is with his family (ongoing issues and long story) because his family intimidate me and he reinforces that to them that he won't let them mess with me.
    Agree with this. I used to work in a supermarket and would have mums ask questions whilst buying their groceries about how old did you have to be to work there, what was the application procedure etc because they had a kid in year 9 but it was always in a casual friendly manner the way you would discuss where she bought that awesome handbag. In terms of handing in resumes, wouldn't you be handing in resumes to shops you've already been to? I don't too think its much to expect that the parent can just wait outside the store for 2 minutes especially in a shopping centre. Or at least hover in the background, pretend to look at the products in the store. It s when they come up to the counter/service desk and talk for the kid "Jimmy would like to hand in a resume" and Jimmy's in the background not saying anything is what previous posters would be talking about where they would put it to the bottom of the pile.

    In terms of interviews can't the parents just make sure they give their kid a list of questions to be asked along with "make sure you tell them that you can't work Tuesdays and Saturday's because you have football remember."

    A little off topic, I'm past the stage of needing parents help to get a job, but when I go to buy my first new new car or my first house, I'll be taking one along at least to make sure I don't forget anything.

    Time, place and level of involvement for everything.

  10. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I agree going to an interview is wrong, I was just referring to a parent attending with a young teen when they hand in an application.
    This topic came up today with someone I know who has been involved in hiring. Even just this can put employers off. Not always, but it can

  11. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellymoe View Post
    This topic came up today with someone I know who has been involved in hiring. Even just this can put employers off. Not always, but it can
    Agree with this. The problem really is when the mum comes up to the counter/service desk with the teen and hands the resume in for them with 'ben would like to apply for a job here'.

    Which is a big difference from the teen handing a resume in at coles whilst mum is down aisle 10 doing her groceries.

    Yes it might be a 20 minute drive to the local shopping centre and will take the teen an hour to hand resumes in at all the stores in the centre, which is unreasonable for the parent to drop off and come or wait in the car, but its no reason why the parent can't go do their own shopping, grab a coffee or if they must stick with their teen either hover outside the shop entrance or at least pretend to browse if they absolutely must come in the actual store.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to wannawannabe For This Useful Post:

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