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  1. #1
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    Default Has it ever worked second time around?

    As the title suggests - have you ever gone back to your ex-partner? Did it work? Why/why not?

    XDP and I are thinking of giving things another go. He left when DD was 2 months old (about 6 months ago), he said it just wasn't working.. It was partly mutual in that I agreed but I was still trying. Over the past 6 months I have just let it be and not mentioned us working things out. Over the weekend he has said he misses us, loves me etc. I do still love him, but I don't want to enter into this lightly; he left us, I want to ensure it won't happen so easily again

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    For me it didn't work. EXP and I split 2.5yrs ago, after being apart for 2months we decided to give things one last shot. The first month was okay, he helped out more, no arguing but after that things went back to how they were. It wasn't a case of he wasn't trying or I wasn't trying it just wasn't working. After not long we were fighting daily, both unhappy, stressed and resentful so I made the final decision to end things. He didn't want things to end but I could see that it was just a vicious cycle that kept on repeating for us, things would be okay for a week or two, sometimes a month but then went back to how they always were.

    I believe in second chances though, and if you are both willing to give it a shot then that is great. Maybe take things slow, focus on rebuilding your relationship and even look into counselling if you think it would help. Goodluck!

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    If it were me, I'd make him work for it. He needs to earn you back and his actions need to speak louder than his words. He left you with a 2-month-old baby and for 6-8 months you've raised your bub AND had to deal with the break- up.

    I hope it all works out well for you

    PS. I wouldn't personally EVER take my ex back no matter my feelings for him, but I read that you love this guy and it seems like you're already considering it hense my response to make him WORK for it.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 04-09-2012 at 11:42.

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    Stiflers Mom  (04-09-2012)

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    Nope, never!!! Its always a honeymoon period for the first couple of months then slowly the same problems creep up.

    FOB and i have been off and on for 9 years. Last time we broke up i closed the book and called it our last chapter!!!

  6. #5
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    BoyCrazy is offline <MY SWEET BABY GIRL HARPER 9 MONTHS
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    yes it has worked for us, but in saying that we have moved cities for a fresh start. We did counseling (as well as me on my own), set ground rules and appropriate behaviours. Its been a year now since we have properly gotten back together, and I can say its alot better than it was before, and is obviously and always will be (just like any other relationship) will be a work in progress.

    we always make time for each other and put ourselves first now, we communicate and never bottle things up, we have regular date nights, and regular family outings. And because he cheated blah blah we also have joint everything (bank accounts, mobile phones, passwords everything).

    good luck if its the path u choose to go, its extremely hard work, but extremely worth it. Am here if you ever need someone to talk to without judgement, just pm me
    Last edited by BoyCrazy; 04-09-2012 at 12:30.

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    Hi,
    It could work if you were both willing to work hard. If it was me I would be stipulating that he organise and pay for couple counselling and you will attend with an open mind but will make no promises at this stage. That way you can gauge his committment to you and your relationship and you can both work through issues that occurred before and after the break up. If you get back together without facing the issues they will resurface. He also left you with a newborn and that in itself is a huge deal. Good luck.

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    Default Has it ever worked second time around?

    I split with exH 2 years ago. I moved back in about a year ago to see if there was anything there, but it has failed. I went in with an open mind but realised almost immediately that I have no feelings left whatsoever. I'm now looking to move out again ASAP.

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    Didn't work for me. He left me the first time and then again the second time.

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    Default Re: Has it ever worked second time around?

    Its worked for my bil and his now wife. They separated when the baby was about 8 months old and slowly got back together over the course of 12 months to two years and they are now happily married with a second bub.

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    Default Re: Has it ever worked second time around?

    Thankyou. It's hard knowing that generally couples who try again are working against their previous problems and that the ones who make it are few and far between. XDPs problems were far beyond our relationship, he was unhappy in himself having been unemployed for a few months and his friends having moved away and sank into somewhat of a depression. He has picked himself up and is doing really well and I think he wants to right some wrongs if that makes sense.

    Blackeyedpea - This had crossed my mind, if I take him back too easily it will work against me!

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