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    Default Am I being petty?

    I agree with the posters above, do what you want but don't alienate a possible future MIL. That's a lifetime
    of rejection. Have fun whatever you choose

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    Go to Sydney and have fun. I would tell your MIL that you can't change your plans but you would love to do XYZ (something you like doing) next weekend with her to celebrate.

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    Default Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    I think you are being too harsh on your dp's mum...she is not at fault for the last 10 years of neglect. Maybe last year they should have known and said happy birthday, but, serious to you or not, 7 months is not a huge relationship.

    As for going to Sydney....no problem at all!! Go and have fun and enjoy it, that is your right.

    However, I would welcome your DP's mum doing something for you...you don't want to set yourself up for a repeat of the last 10 year by rejecting her genuinely trying to do something nice. Otherwise, next year, she will still remember being rejected when she offered and won't want to offer again. Call and say you'd love to do something with them either the weekend before or after.
    All of the above^^^^

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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by katatonic View Post
    I agree with the posters above, do what you want but don't alienate a possible future MIL. That's a lifetime
    of rejection. Have fun whatever you choose
    I understand the possibility of her feeling like I don't want to spend my bday with her or the rest of dps family. But what if I don't want to actually do anything except for what I've already got planned? I think a weekend away on the bike with dp, a night off from both kids (hasn't happened in years!) and dinner and drinks with the only member of my family that lives inside 1200km away seems enough to me. Yes I'm upset that they couldn't even say happy birthday to me last year. Regardless of how long dp and I had been together, not saying happy birthday when they knew it was my birthday just seemed a tad rude and dismissing and I'm somewhat surprised she would think I would unmake plans with my own family to spend it with her doing something I don't like. This is also not just about her, I'm not reacting this way just because it's her or what happened last bday. I'm taking this front with everyone (though she's the only one who's tried to make plans....) I'm sick of missing out. I'd like to matter too (I make big deals of EVERYONE'S birthdays, they are important to me) yes it would be nice to not have to plan my birthday, but rather be surprised by someone saying oh we're doing this just for you not 'let's do something you don't like! On second thoughts you just come up with something and I'll see what I can fit in...' I've had to plan my current plans but I don't mind because its something I want to do and like iykwim.

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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    On another note, dps mum would bring her partner to whatever it is we would ended up doing. And I cannot stand him. He's rude, insults my parenting by comparing his perfect 20-something year old daughter to my 8 yr old SN son at every opportunity and saying 'my daughter never did that....what's wrong with you' Drinks way too much and ends up arguing with everyone and we always end up glaring at each other. Not my ideal birthday scenario either!

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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    It's understandable that you are upset that no-one made a fuss of your birthday, esp if the day is important to you. But here's the thing, you can't have it both ways. No-one made a fuss last year and you were upset. Someone wants to do something this year and you are rejecting it.
    what do you want? A happy birthday, or everyone walking on eggshells, not sure how to handle the day? I would take every offer I get to celebrate, and enjoy them all. Don't over think it, just do it!


    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**

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    Default Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTiggyWinkle View Post
    I think definitely you should keep your plans for Sydney, but do something with mil as well. She is making an effort this year, even if it's not quite what you are interested in, and if you don't seem interested in celebrating with them, she probably won't bother next year.

    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**
    This.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkplease3 View Post
    On another note, dps mum would bring her partner to whatever it is we would ended up doing. And I cannot stand him. He's rude, insults my parenting by comparing his perfect 20-something year old daughter to my 8 yr old SN son at every opportunity and saying 'my daughter never did that....what's wrong with you' Drinks way too much and ends up arguing with everyone and we always end up glaring at each other. Not my ideal birthday scenario either!
    He sounds like a pita!

    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**

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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTiggyWinkle View Post
    It's understandable that you are upset that no-one made a fuss of your birthday, esp if the day is important to you. But here's the thing, you can't have it both ways. No-one made a fuss last year and you were upset. Someone wants to do something this year and you are rejecting it.
    what do you want? A happy birthday, or everyone walking on eggshells, not sure how to handle the day? I would take every offer I get to celebrate, and enjoy them all. Don't over think it, just do it!


    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**
    No one made an anything let alone a fuss for the last 10 years. Which is what made me make my own plans without considering others this year, I took the 'selfish' route. She's upset because I did that (yes I know the last 10yrs aren't her fault) and won't change them. I also dont have the time or the money to do something before or in the weeks after, as she knows. I have 2 weddings next weekend (one is her daughter's) and we're moving the week after.
    I just don't understand why she's upset I won't change my plans with four days notice whem I made them over 6 weeks ago. Hence I thought maybe I was being petty in her eyes?

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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    It's rude of her, if she's upset you won't change your plans with 4 days notice. If she thinks that is petty, that's her problem

    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**


 

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