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  1. #1
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    Default Sickness and visitation?

    My X has the kids every fortnight,
    Here is the situation:
    DD has a bacterial infection and a chest infection :-( and is on antibiotics. I am unsure of how much longer DD will need to take antibiotics for (as in how many doses are left in the bottle). She also has a heart condition and I have to watch her for temps, over the past two days she has had a temp, on Monday it was 38.8 and today it was 40.1 so for the next 5 days of she has temperatures over 38 it can get serious.
    My question:
    Would you send a sick child to your X based on that and when would you draw the line and say sorry she is too sick and can't come? He's not very good at temps and things like that and just says things like " *DD/DS is warm" he dosent have a thermometer and I am a bit worried.
    Any advice?
    He will be having them this Saturday morning overnight....
    ETA the heart condition becomes an issue if the bacteria gets to the extra valve in her heart

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    Default Sickness and visitation?

    If your worried than no keep her home. Usually mums are so much better with the kids when they r sick!

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    My X chooses not to have the kids when they're sick so that he isn't at risk of catching their illness, 'cause he cannot afford to get sick and take time off work.

    As for your situation, it sounds like taking the temperatures is really important, and if he cannot be relied upon to do so then you need to keep her with you. (If you think he can be relied on to do so, the other option would be to loan him a thermometer for the weekend.)

    Also consider your daughters feelings.
    * She might prefer to stay in the secure environment of her own bed when she is feeling so vulnerable.
    * Alternatively the change of pace of visiting with her father might make a welcome distraction to her current ills.

  4. #4
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    My ex often chooses not to have DS when he is sick- I let him know beforehand and he regularly says to keep him home & we do a swap somewhere.

    One thing to consider is if you don't send the children every time they are sick will he make an issue of it? If there are court orders he could contravene you on it (courts see it as he is the child's other parent and equally responsible for making decisions and attending to the childs health needs).

  5. #5
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    my ex doesn't have DS when he is sick.

    I always offer for him to come and see DS at my house or even just have him for a few hours during the day at his house...usually he says no.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by jordansmumma View Post
    If your worried than no keep her home. Usually mums are so much better with the kids when they r sick!
    Rubbish. Either parent can be just as capable with a sick child. My DH is way better with sick kids than his ex wife for example. Gender has nothing to do with it and comments like this promote poor stereotypes and undermine fathers- not necessary.

    OP- why don't you ask your ex and go through what would be required and either ask him to buy a thermometer or loan him yours? He may prefer you to keep her home if he feels you are better with this sort of thing. Back when my ex used to see DD, I would offer to keep her home as he had 2 other little kids at home and I didn't want them to get sick, but I let him decide, so long as he knew what was wrong and what to do about it.

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  8. #7
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    Now days I always just inform FOB what is happening, what to expect and what he needs to do (if anything). Its then his choice if he takes him or not. I'm not going to be the one responsible for withholding or him not taking DS. If the thermometer is that big an issue, buy him one. I know, I know, you shouldn't have to, but if it means he checks her temperature, well...

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    I'm sorry but a responsible parent has a thermometer on hand, as well as at least one firm if medicine in the fridge for all too common fevers or pain. I'm not saying he's a horrid human being, just that if he's a custodial parent he should show a bit more responsibility. I'd keep DD home rather than pack her up and send her off. Just discuss it with him and see what he says. The fact you're uncertain about it says it all though really... He sounds a bit irresponsible.

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    DD would go. BF has just as much right and responsibility to care for DD when she;s ill or otherwise.

    Send along the antibiotics and a write up of what needs to be done.
    If he doesnt want the responsibiity then keep her home.


 

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