Has he always been gay? Has he lied from the beginning? Has he cheated? Has he had unprotected sex with men and with you? I would need answers to all those questions. It would be a shock if it happened to me. I had a friend in this situation, but it wasn't a shock for her or anyone else. Hope you are okay.
I'm so sorry OP. hugs.
I would be upset if he was gay and had known it when we got married, or even if he had "Thought" he was gay when we got married.
I think it's very selfish for someone to Marry or start a relationship with someone when they are gay or have doubts about their sexuality, to string the other person along like that, give them a false sense of a furure.
If they had only just discovered they were gay, I would much prefer they told me before they went out and cheated. Cheating is cheating, I don't care what situation or reason led the cheater to cheat.
If they were Bi and cheated, same thing, not on.
If they were Bi and cheated but wanted to stay with me all levels of trust would be gone (even if they cheated with the opposite sex) and I would either
A, get marriage/couple counseling
B, leave. Huge betrayal of trust. It's disrespectful, it's a careless act, I mean wether my partner cheated on my with a man or a woman he is putting me a risk of STD's etc.
No matter how much love I had for my partner, if he did that to me, our family..
I would find it extremely hard to stay, in the end I think for me personally it would end our marriage. If I decided to stay it would eat me up inside and cause me to be a very untrust worthy wife, it would cause a divorce in one way or anther in the end.
Your in such a horrible situation OP. I can't even begin to imangine the conflicting thoughts in your head.
Last edited by Liddybugs; 05-09-2012 at 00:17.
If df told me he was gay we'd part there an he can pursue men. Cheating is horribly painful though, no matter if it's with someone from the same sex or not. Df cheated on me and I'm struggling to stay with him. I'm so sorry you're in this crap position.
in this day and age, there is nothing to be ashamed of if ur husband is into men. Having said that I too would be devastated but i would let him go and live his life and not bind him to this make believe life. It would give us both another shot at love and a real shot at living life the way we would love to. Sometimes loving someone is letting go of him/her.
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