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  1. #11
    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    a) I would be absolutely devastated that he didn't respect me enough to be faithful.
    b) I'd be devastated he didn't respect/trust me enough to be honest about his feelings towards men (even if he "didn't want to hurt me"
    c) I would be devastated that he disrespected me by cheating on me.
    d) I'd be thankful that it was something he could finally face, and perhaps would be the beginning of a wonderful very very close friendship for us as co-parents.

    after I got over the anger and disrespect of being cheated on. And I would not stay in the marriage.

    However, is it something he is really into, or something he was just curious about?

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    delirium  (01-09-2012)

  3. #12
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    Default husband is into men

    OP - how are you going?

  4. #13
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    As others have said it'd really depend on whether he was bi or gay. Unfortunately alot of men are gay but feel they shouldn't be so they go and get wives/girlfriends and have children.. but ultimately it ends in disaster as they are attracted to men whether they want to be or not.

    I'd be very upset if I'd found out my DH had cheated on me whether it be with a man or a woman. If he told me that he was gay our marriage would be over but he'd still be my bestfriend.. just wouldn't be husband and wife anymore. After the hurt went away I'd be happy that he came out and encourage him to follow his heart and not worry what others thought.

    I hope you both find happiness What a hard situation to be in

  5. #14
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    For me cheating is a complete deal breaker, no matter what gender it is with.

  6. #15
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Default Re: husband is into men

    Hoping you are ok OP.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  7. #16
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    cheating is cheating no matter the gender.
    i would be devastated and feel like my marriage was a sham.

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    Default Re: husband is into men

    Vows are vows.... I think I'd have to leave regardless of gender. Plus, what is the point in having around if he obviously wants Men

  9. #18
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    I think it would be a really confusing situation tbh.

    On one hand, I'd feel so betrayed. Whether he cheated or not, chances are he'd have WANTED to and I'd feel so betrayed that he lied to me about his sexuality and pretended he was into me. If he cheated, there'd be a whole extra layer to that betrayal and I'd be furious, hurt and upset.

    On the other hand though, I'm not a complete b*tch and find it easy to empathise. I'd be thinking, "Wow, it must be really hard for him to come out with this." I'd also understand that perhaps he didn't actually know himself, and that perhaps cheating on me was what he needed to do in order to know that yes, he was actually gay after all. I'd feel sorry for him (for finding himself in this position).

    Knowing me, I'd mostly just be angry. Angry at him for cheating/being gay secretly... and angry at me for feeling sympathy for what he must be going through himself. I'd be wanting myself to hate him and not give a stuff about how it was for him... but there'd be that part of me that couldn't help it.

    OP, this sounds like a really horrible thing to discover. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling.

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    Default husband is into men

    Depends if he had cheated or just told me he was gay. Either way I don't think I could stay. Even if he was bi I think I would struggle to stay sorry you have to go through that.

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    I would be gutted for our relationship but I would hope I would be able to see how incredibly tough it would be for him also.

    I'd think that the good that would come out of it, would be someone not living a lie and myself not continuing to be a part of that.


 

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