Good morning mamas,
I am new to this but desperately need answers! I am pregnant again with baby number 2, DD is 15 months old now. I had obsessed over a natural birth with her and achieved it. The whole labor was great, lasting only 7 hours from waters breaking to baby arriving but the pushing stage was very disappointing. At 10cm my contractions had died down which the midwife (who I had the whole pregnancy and liked) told me was due to being in the warm bath, so she got me out on a birthing stool (which was horrible, absolutely horrible) so I got off and went to the bed and got in the classic TV birthing position which is where I felt most comfortable. But I still couldn't feel my contractions. Even so, now there were two midwifes and they were shouting at me to push, pant, push, pant all with no feeling whatsoever (apart from general pain of course). I can't remember feeling a contraction, or the urge to push whatsoever. I said a few times "I can't" and they just shouted back "you have to". Now, the baby was doing very well, no worries at all and in hindsight and after some investigation I have found out that is perfectly normal for a woman to have a period in between 10cm and actual pushing. It's a natural way to regain energy. And with the baby doing well there was absolutely no need to rush me. I had never imagined that the pushing stage was so aggressive (from the midwives), I've watched videos of people gently easing their babies out and just thought that would be me but it wasn't. And if I had done it that way would I have torn as bad?
Anyway, the result was baby shot out, my husband said one second he saw the top of her head and the next she flew out. I had a nasty 4th degree tear that went into my anus (sorry TMI) and I had to go under a general anesthetic in surgery for 3 hours to be repaired. The recovery time was slow, and very painful. I couldn't walk for days, couldn't sit for weeks and then came the intense itching as the stitches did whatever they do. Sex? That didn't happen for about a year and I'm still scared to do it. Now, I didn't want a c-section and still don't but my friends who had them recovered in about a week compared to my 3 months (and on-going sex issues). I'm so scared of the same thing happening, I'm worried about looking after my tot and a newborn in that kind of state afterwards, so I wondered what other people's stories are? Anyone had the same experience? Any opinions welcome whatever they may be :-)
ps sorry this was such a long post, I've never vented like this before about my birth experience!