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  1. #1
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    Default Jealous or Not!?

    So October last year I was 83 kilos 165cm tall, 3 kids.
    My friend and I decided to start walking each night, I was probably 5 kilos heavier then her when we started and very unfit.
    She asked me to join the gym , classes etc I said no I'll just continue our walks I'm good !
    Then in December I accidentally fell pregnant with my 4th and lost the baby in Feb to a rare molar pregnancy.
    I put this down to being my fault! Too big and unhealthy ( smoking again) .
    So after all my cancer tests were finished I began walking again.
    I kept asking this same person but she declined every offer only for me to find out she was jogging wit another friend every Wednesday!
    Well I was angry!!! Am I too fat to run too?? Grr
    So from March 2012 to August 2012 I have lost 25 kilos. I'm now a wee 59 kilo and play netball twice a week, do a 2000 step (literally steps) course once a week and run probably 6 k once a week.
    This 'friend' has not acknowledged anything to do with my weightloss.
    She is still just as big or possibly bigger. She hasn't congratulated, commented just nothing!!
    I admit I'm constantly posting before and afters and I was constantly updating my status when I hit my goals (75,69,63 and 60) on my Facebook but don't I deserve to brag!? I worked hard for this and put all my strength into it.
    Why would anyone get peeved at someone for that? But that's what it feels like!!!
    Vent, rant over :-)
    Haha

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    Default Jealous or Not!?

    Seriously impressive weight loss - well done!!

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    Default Re: Jealous or Not!?

    Well done! Of course you deserve to brag, you worked hard and it paid off I'd say the friend us jealous, sounds like you have much stronger willpower then her, good on you

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    Default Jealous or Not!?

    Thats an amazing achievement id be shouting it from the rooftops too.

    Im guessing your 'friend' is jealous that your hard work has paid off whereas her efforts havent, unfortunantly some people are like that.

    Anyway savour your own victory

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    Congrats! Amazing effort. Have you thought maybe your friend has problems underlying her weight problems. I hope you understand what I'm saying... Your health scare made you move and get healthier etc.

    Brag!! You deserve too, but maybe talk to your friend and ask what is going on. It sounds like maybe she couldn't confide in you or something along those lines. Don't take it to heart. I don't even talk to my best friend about my weight we have been friends since I was 2!!!

    Its better training on your own anyway, people always cancel or have their own excuses xx.

  7. #6
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: Jealous or Not!?

    Good on you for that impressive weight loss. I would say your friend is struggling with her lack of weight loss, jealous of yours and perhaps feels like her face is being rubbed in it... Which of course is not what you were doing, your weighty loss is a real achievement and you are entitled to celebrate it... but your status updates may have rubbed her up the wrong way.

    I would just allow her some space and wait to see what happens, there's not much you can do about her attitude, and tbh if she has that negative approach to your success then I wouldn't really trust that she is a real friend ATM sorry!



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    Default Re: Jealous or Not!?

    I had a very similar experience. I lost about 15 kg over the past year and a friend who I used to always try and lose weight with never commented or said a word. I found it weird as it was pretty noticeable (I'm short so 15 kg is a lot).
    I have decided its probably a sore point with her so I don't care that she hasn't commented. At the end of the day I achieved this for me and my health, not to get compliments and I'm sure you are in the same boat. Yes it would be nice if your friend would acknowledge your accomplishment but she is probably feeling bad about herself and doesn't want to talk about it.

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    I would say it is probably just a sore point for her, as she hasn't had the same success, and isn't really about you. As long as she isn't being nasty i would let it go, you know you've done well so why do you need compliments? I know it's nice to be acknowledged but it may just be too hard for her to talk about right now?

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    Default Jealous or Not!?

    Congrats on the weight loss - its a huge achievement!

    I personally hate the over sharing bragging on FB - it's very 'look at moi' I'm sure this is what has rubbed your friend up the wrong way!!

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  12. #10
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    I agree, it's a fantastic loss. But I have the same problem with JaneDoe. I have a friend who constantly updates his weight loss goals and posting pictures of his healthy meals. It's a running commentary and oh my GOODNESS does it get annoying!
    His achievements have been amazing, but that doesn't mean that's all I ever want to hear about. In fact after many months it's pretty much the last thing I want to hear about *chuckle*.

    I've lost a heap of weight myself so I know exactly how proud you feel and how much you would like people should validate your efforts. You've done brilliantly! But keep in mind that if your friend is still the same size and still feeling miserable, she's probably not thinking "Look how well Kelly has done!". She's probably thinking "Look at how badly I've done".

    At the end of the day, if you're worried about the lack of congratulations from your friend perhaps you're not seeing the big picture, which is simply that you're very proud of what you've done and you're not shy about it.
    But she's not done well, and she'd not likely be proud of that. Constantly rubbing it in her face (whether you intend to hurt her feelings or not, and I'm SURE you're not doing it on purpose) isn't going to do anything but make her resentful.

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