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    Default Teens messy rooms

    How much do you worry about them cleaning it?we've recently taken on my step daughter who is almost 14. She has a few issues such as tendency to run away,falling way behind in her work,had been expelled from school and been home for 2 weeks while we waited for acceptance into another school. My instincts are telling me to focus on the other things and to shut her door so i can't see that we can't see her floor

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    Default Teens messy rooms

    I think I agree with you, or at the very least, don't nag but perhaps have a gentle talk about keeping her room reasonable, perhaps an incentive to do so will help? Such as pocket money, phone credit, Internet time etc.

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    Default Re: Teens messy rooms

    We've written a list of conditions which i think is only 5 of them starting with the reward first then what is expected to receive award. Eg can use internet for a period of x hours once all homework or assignments are completed neatly. Or pocket money received if room remains respectable and kitchen tidy after meals . So i don't know how often to have her room clean

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    Default Teens messy rooms

    Maybe once a week? Or every few days?

    I used to only clean my room once every few months,

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    I'm not sure if it would work... but would making a 'cleaning day' be helpful.. where on one day you all just clean the house, your own rooms, the shared spaces... and then when it's done get take out for lunch or something to celebrate.. or hire a vid, or have a games night together... so that keeping the house clean is rewarded with something.

    Also, maybe it's a storage issue? Could you ask her how she would like to organise it and get some better homes and gardens or look online. perhaps if she did a bit of reorganising it would be easier to keep clean.

    Just ideas anyway. But I wouldn't make it that much of an issue.

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    Default Teens messy rooms

    Once my mum threw out the window (3rd story) ALL my stuff I mean ALL except underwear... Took me a good couple of hours to pick everything up and take it back in, I cleaned my room after that!
    On the other hand I had two teen girls live with us for months at a time (DH's sisters) and I cleaned up for them a couple I times and asked them to keep the room clean but it didn't work so I'd just shut the door... Not worth it for me, as they say - you have to pick your battles! -

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    I think a cleaning day once a week could work also. I have seen a few threads about your step DD and I just wanted to say I am so happy to hear you guys have taken her on to live with you, that's awesome. I hope it all works out, tought road

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    I have seen a few threads about your step DD and I just wanted to say I am so happy to hear you guys have taken her on to live with you, that's awesome. I hope it all works out, tought road
    I agree with frenchie you are doing a great thing.

    I honestly think it about picking your battles.
    I love that you have set up rewards

    I think letting her have the room as 'her space' and allowing her to decide when and how to keep it clean will help her feel like she belongs IYKIM. As long as it not a health hazard, I would allow her, her space.

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    Default Teens messy rooms

    I would make some things mandatory every day... Eg. Bed must be made daily, no clothes on the floor, washing put in the laundry, all dishes eg plates, glasses taken to the sink/dishwasher, all rubbish in the bin. Then once a week to dust, clean surfaces, vacuum and strip the bed to was the sheets etc. I'd make the once a week stuff on a Saturday so that if she does them then she gets the pocket money as soon as she's finished.

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    Default Teens messy rooms

    Oh and I would start it straight away. She needs to know that just because she has these tendencies to run away etc isn't going to change her responsibilities. My parents pretty much let my step sister get away with all responsibility because she would threaten to run away or go get pregnant etc so they avoided making her do anything, even going to school! She learned she could tweak it to get anything she wanted and would throw a tanty once they caught on and decided enough was enough, and she challenged them so much in the end they gave up. She is 22 now and still does it!! I'm not saying this is how your DD will become, I'm just stating my experience which is why I probably sound harsh in making these chores start straight away. Im a firm believer that Kids (and people in general) thrive with routine and knowing what's expected of them. To me that's what will make her feel like she belongs iykwim? Just my opinion


 

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