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  1. #1
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    Default I'm failing...

    Failing at being a wife
    Failing career wise
    Failing to be a great mum (according to in-laws)

    I'm just over it all!!! Im done. I'm sick of busting my butt to please everyone but because I'm not a "soapboxer"
    No one sees the things I do.

  2. #2
    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Why do your inlaws matter? You married him, not them... if they are causing issues... just don't see them. That's your choice.

    I hope you feel better soon. We all feel like this sometimes. It's not true though, we're doing a very good job.

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: I'm failing...

    Did I write that post? A friend said to me just yesterday, forget everyone else and their expectations, look after yourself, kids and hubby and forget the rest. I am very much a people pleaser, it is hard not to worry about others expectations but we really need to try. Sorry, not much help.

  5. #5
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    hug, i often feel the same on dark days.

    How do you feel you are doing on a good day? no one is perfect...i think we just need to do our best and love our family.

  6. #6
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    I bet you are doing an awesome job and the OTT expectations from others are making you doubt yourself.

    Stand up for yourself, hold your head high, think of the postives and the great things you do and flip them the bird!!!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Bennos Mummy For This Useful Post:

    PurpleButterfly4  (29-08-2012)

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    Default Re: I'm failing...

    Haha Bennos Mum, I just had a mental image of myself giving the bird to my posh MIL....bahaha thanks for the giggle

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  10. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by MummaOJ View Post
    Haha Bennos Mum, I just had a mental image of myself giving the bird to my posh MIL....bahaha thanks for the giggle
    My pleasure !!

  11. #9
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    Default I'm failing...

    Thanks Ladies. I've just been raised to push push push. It's really hard not to hear "you can do better" "take pride in your work"

    It's hard, I feel like I'm giving all I can to every place in my life but I still feel like I'm dropping the ball so to speak. How do I know when what I've done is enough.

    I know I do a lot, I work 40hrs a week, I'm renovating my house, raising 2 kids - one with Aspergers & trying to get fit. It's a lot & I want to go to Uni too to make a better life for my family financially. I earn good money now but I want hubby to be able to have all he dreams of; new house, his car rebuilt etc.

    And above all I want to set a good example for my kids. I want my boy with aspergers to not expect the world to look after him because of having it. I want him to succeed & make his own way & I believe by modeling that, it'll help him a lot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Opaque View Post
    It's hard, I feel like I'm giving all I can to every place in my life but I still feel like I'm dropping the ball so to speak. How do I know when what I've done is enough.
    .
    An excellent question. Just remember, this question is YOURS to answer, not your boss, not your MIL, nobody but you. Be honest with yourself - what are your expectations?

    IMO,if you are really giving all you can and still falling short, your expectations are too high. It's great to have challenging goals, but putting yourself down when you don't get there isn't constructive. Be kind to yourself, work out what YOUR standards are, ignore the judgment of others (because it's uninformed - they don't know the whole picture of your life).

    Most importantly, allow yourself to fall short sometimes. It sets a good example for your kids and teaches them that you can fall a bit short and still be a great person at the same time.


 

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