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  1. #1
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    Default Telling your boss about your Ivf journey

    Hi ladies, just wondering who told their boss & how it was received?

    Also, if you chose not to tell your boss how did you go getting the time off work.

    Im not sure if I want to tell my boss because I don't think I should have to. However I've already had to fight with her to get the time off to see a geneticist & I don't want to do that every time.

    But I also don't want any of this to jeopodise my job as I'm on contract.

    Dont know what the best thing to do is & it's really concerning me that I might not be able to get time off without a fight, or that I might not get my contract extended because of this.

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    i didn't do IVF, but we had been ttc for 2.5 years and had to keep undergoing tests at the local hospital clinic etc... i eventually explained to my boss, and he laughed and made pig headded jokes about ''how long does it take?!"" . i was so hurt i burst into tears and he still kept jibing me. . i wish i had never told him. PIG.

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    It's def tricky.


    I've been on the IVF path for a year now, and i just had to tell my boss eventually because i had so many days off and was getting in late from blood tests and leaving for a million dr's appointments.


    My boss is really family friendly, he's very understanding and lets me have time off when i want. I guess i'm lucky that i've been in my team for 5 years and have always been a hard worker so they are pretty happy to let me take time off. I always get a dr's certificate from my clinic as well.


    If you are on contract, i'd be hesitant to tell them. You don't actually have to tell your boss what it is, you can just say you have a medical condition that you want to keep confidential? When you go to appointments get a doctor's certificate.


    You could also say you have an undiagnosed condition and are doing tests?


    The other thing too is that i kind of don't like it when your work knows that you are trying to get pregnant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    i didn't do IVF, but we had been ttc for 2.5 years and had to keep undergoing tests at the local hospital clinic etc... i eventually explained to my boss, and he laughed and made pig headded jokes about ''how long does it take?!"" . i was so hurt i burst into tears and he still kept jibing me. . i wish i had never told him. PIG.
    PIG alright!!!!

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    Default Telling your boss about your Ivf journey

    I told my boss (who was only standing in temporarily at the time) as it didnt bother me so much that he knew- it made it easier for me to get the time off- I was so annoyed though as when I told him the first thing he said was "congratulations"... Wtf?!?!? I just shrugged it off at the time- but really annoyed me afterwards. Ironically the actual boss (whose position he was standing in for) has gone through IVF herself so I have found that they have been really good and understanding for me.

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    Default Telling your boss about your Ivf journey

    I told my boss who is amazingly supportive which in hindsight after being at this for 10 months I don't know how I could've done it and kept them in the dark. For me it's the appointments, bloods sucks days I love that I have no guilt....however, I did have a bad experience with a manager who was acting in my bosses shoes who was in the loop and felt the need to tell everyone who came near me I was a hormonal mess (I didn't even get hormonal just sick) so I think it depends on the kind of person your boss is.

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    Thanks a lot everyone! I will have more of a think about it but I probably won't tell her as I'm not sure how she will take it. I will definitely get the medical certificates & thanks for the tips about not having the clinic letterhead on it - to be honest I wouldn't have even thought about that until afterwards, so that was useful!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    The other thing too is that i kind of don't like it when your work knows that you are trying to get pregnant.
    Yeh, that's why I'm not keen on telling them, especially because I am on a contract which has now gone to three-monthly (thanks Mr Newman ) so I probably won't get much, if any, maternaty leave and will most likely just not have my contract extended. So basically when I get pregnant I will more than likely be leaving & they will have to find someone to replace me.

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    Default Telling your boss about your Ivf journey

    Im not telling my work cus I know I'll get treated differently if they think I'll be preg soon. I just get dr cert from my gyno. God knows what my boss thinks is wrong with me but they know they have no right to ask and don't. But it is so awkward having so much time off. I do sometimes wonder what everyone thinks but no one has asked me thank goodness.

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    Hi ladies - I feel so so sorry for you guys that you are being treated in this way. I have told my manager and my director knows (I am in senior HR positions) because wanted my manager to know I wasnt going for job interviews when I said I had a specialist appointment - my specialist does scans rather than BTs so bit of an inconvenience getting to his rooms and then wasiting sometimes as he is an OB and Gyn and FS. You ladies probably know this but under the Human Rights Act or EEO Act I think in Victoria or could be state legislstion but one of the factors is you are not allowed to discriminate because of fertility treatment/infertility is not allowed and there have been cases to the EEO Commissioner relating to this. I cant believe that there are wankers (sorry) bosses like that out there that say the most stupid things.

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    Default Telling your boss about your Ivf journey

    I told my direct boss because she is lovely & understanding. When she went on maternity leave though, I filled her position and I didn't tell my new boss until after I was in hospital for a week with hyperstim. he is a really nice guy and I didn't want him worrying (as he knew I needed regular blood tests etc) didn't want him to think I was dying! lol

    But I think this thread shows it really depends who your boss is as to how much you tell them!

    Minchy - your boss was an absolute jerk to you - so sorry you had to go through that!


 

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