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  1. #1
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    Default Guilt

    Hi all I am 36 weeks pregnant with baby #2. Up until now I was going to formula feed this bub from birth. The other night though I made a decision to try to breast feed this bub. I have flat nipples and was never able to get DS to attach even with the help of a LC. I expressed for 2 months then moved to formula.

    This time Im going to be prepared, I will pack some nipple shields and a pump ( to use just before attaching new bub to draw the nipple out ). I am excited to give it another go this time but I cant help but feel guilty as I was unable to breastfeed DS and if this bub does attach I feel as though I let down DS. I feel like I didnt give him the best start to life. Please tell me Im not being stupid for feeling like this. And if anyone can offer anymore tips please do.

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    Default Guilt

    You're not stupid!!! You're just wanting to do a good job, and good on you for expressing for 2 months! That's a lot of work! Honestly its great that you are going to try but don't stress about it, babies have formula all the time and they're all fine, just love your baby and take that time you would freak out or become frustrated trying to feed to cuddle and love on them.
    I was lucky and currently breastfeeding but I was from the get go determined not to take any s**t and if it works it works if it doesn't there's formula my child will not starve attitude, I was formula fed because my mum was sick after having me and my husband was too because his mum was young and didn't feel up to it, we are both doing well :-)

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    starla  (28-08-2012)

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    Default Re: Guilt

    It's probably all normal what you're feeling but maybe you're focussing on the wrong things. Look at everything else you did.

    Also it's fantastic that you are getting informed and trying to be prepared. A friend of mine always uses nipple shields because of flat nipples and she is still feeding her one yr old. Have you talked to the ABA? I know they have a bad rep atm but they do have some really helpful advice and might be able to talk to you more about how you're feeling.

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    starla  (28-08-2012)

  6. #4
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    That's fantastic. But just so you know, you didn't let down your DS at all. I know the feeling, I tried with my 2 but like you, had problems with attachment, went through the whole nipple shield thing with a LC, painfully expressed when I was blistered and bleeding.. and yet I'm still riddled with guilt at not being able to BF properly.
    FWIW, my DS was FF and he's now almost a teenager, has never had more than a common cold (touch wood) and is in advanced classes at school so it did him no harm
    All the best with your BFing this time, but just remember, don't beat yourself up if you don't succeed, you're a brilliant mum who clearly loves her bubba and whichever way your baby gets his/her food will be OK, it really will.
    With my DD who is a month old, she at least got the colostrum which comes through within the first 24 hours so that gives me some peace of mind.
    I think you sound really prepared and determined and that's all you can be.

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    starla  (28-08-2012)

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    Thank you for your kind words. I know I shouldnt feel guilty but I cant help think about it. I tried my hardest with DS. I really hope I can BF this time around but if doesnt work out Im not going to beat myself up over it. I feel alot more confident this time as I know I will most likely have trouble but will have more experience and will be prepared.

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    I have flat nipples aswell and after 2 failed attempts at breastfeeding i am currently feeding my 11 week old without any problems at all , i was hoping things would be easier this time around but like you was prepared for a challenging time and apart from using a nipple shield for a couple of days when i was really engorged its been great , i dont feel guilty towards my other children for failing to breastfeed them , ive always felt disappointment about it and probably always will , but i did the best i could with what i had and knew at the time which is all we can do as mothers , hopefully things will be easier for you this time around .I used to dream about BF my baby when i was pregnant , but if it hadn`t worked out for me again i was not going to let it make me feel like any less of a mother and put a negative feeling over what should be an amazing life experience for us all .Best of luck with your new baby and above and beyond all make sure you are able to enjoy such a special time

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    Default Guilt

    Gosh I hope I can with this bub. With DS I just assumed Bfing was easy and it would just happen. How do you know what size nipple shields work best?


 

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