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  1. #1
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    Default Not coping

    So I understand 3-4 year olds are curious and want to touch everything. But my nearly 4 year old touches absolutely EVERYTHING, and more often than not, breaks or damages everything she touches. In the last year she has:
    - destroyed a $3000 leather couch by tearing strips off it
    - broken a $300 digital camera by messing with the controls which caused the focus and zoom to stop working
    - smashed a $500 iPad by dropping it on concrete tiles
    - broken a $50 necklace by stretching the cord til it broke
    - broken a $50 ring by snapping the stone off
    - snapped my $250 Oroton sunnies
    - scratched $700 prescription glasses so badly they couldn't be fixed.
    and the corker for today - putting her hand imprints on a cake I spent 6 hours decorating for a friends birthday.
    Mostly she doesn't damage things maliciously, but she such a clutz she will drop things or step on them and break them. I will tell her not to touch something 1000 times and the minute my back is turned she's got a hold of it. I warn her, I tell her what the punishment will be, I ALWAYS follow through, but nothing works. I calmly explain that some things belong to mummy and daddy, and that we look with our eyes but don't touch with our hands, we've put things above head height but the moment I look away she has pushed a stool over to climb up, we've tried positive reward charts, we've tried taking away privileges or favourite toys but nothing deters her. We aren't rich and work damn hard for all the luxuries we have in life and she damages all of them. I just can't understand why she doesn't listen or how else I can discourage her from touching things she knows she's not meant to. It's costing me a fortune and I'm starting to hate her for it

  2. #2
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    Default Not coping

    Bummer - tbh it all sounds normal though. Don't hate her - put breakables well away and 'out of sight, out of mind'.

    I have a family member who is forever upset that her three year is constantly ruining all her makeup and cosmetics, creams etc. But she doesn't put them away, or shut off her bathroom door, or supervise him playing/investigating.

  3. #3
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    I think it really is a case of you not being careful enough with your things.

    She should not have had any of those things (except the lounge lol) and they should be away safely or only used under supervision.

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    Default Not coping

    It's not her fault, she is only 3 and has no understanding of responsibility.
    For us, we have a 4yo and a 2yo and anything we don't want them to touch, we put them away, as in away in a place where it is impossible for them to get them.
    I know that sucks, but it is our responsibility to make sure our 'toys' aren't damaged by the kids.

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    Every high shelf is crammed with valuables, everything we don't want her touching is in our bedroom (which we are now considering paying $200 to put a lock on coz she just lets herself in, and obviously we couldn't move the couch in there!), and I just can't watch her every second of every day when I'm breastfeeding, changing or bathing my other child I can't wait til next year when she's in school coz I can't take it anymore.

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    I know exactly how you feel. My almost 4 yr old DS is exactly the same. One thing I have noticed though is that it changes from week to week, like he can be naughty and testing 6 out of 7 days in one week, and then the next week, be a well behaved boy for 3 days in a row!
    Its totally normal. but doesnt make it any easier to deal with. I found that a simple change in daily activities seems to help a little.
    Could she just be venting frustration as you have 'another baby to look afetr?' DS was/is exactly the same I have a 10 month old DD. It seems that he acts out as a vent for him bc he sees DD get most of my attention.

    Hang in there. you dont want to turn it into a battle between the two of you., Just remember, that this phase will pass soon
    Last edited by SpiritofaWarrior; 27-08-2012 at 22:36.

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    Default Not coping

    Would she respond to toys or activities being set up for her to play with whilst you are attending the little baby? Maybe with her inquisitive mind she might focus on a more positive things to do than constantly wander into your bedroom? Sounds like a lock might be a good idea for peace of mind though - you could try the safety1st (target/big w) or Ikea stick on baby locks which are somewhere between $6-$10 as a means of preventing access to your room whilst she is learning boundaries?

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    I would expect things to get broken if they are within reach, the only thing you can't put away is the lounge.

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    Default Not coping

    Sounds like she loves playing with expensive things.

    Other than putting/locking them away i dont really see another option cause she's only a little girl and a curious one by the sounds of it.

    Perhaps just change the door handle on your bedroom door to a locking one (am sure its a lot cheaper - only cost $30 to change ours)


 

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