HLE, is your bub medicated? It sounds like you need to be looking into something to help. I know where you are coming from. Bub slept on me during the day for six months. Sometimes it would take 40 minutes of rocking furiously to get him to have a 20 minute nap. At night we would feed to sleep and lay him down really carefully. Usually for him to wake anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours later all night long. That was at its worst though.
As far as day care goes, they generally somehow learn to adapt with their new environment and day care staff will do what it takes to get your kid to sleep e.g. Rock/pat/cuddle etc. But I honestly wouldn't be considering putting them in care until you've got the pain sorted. It's hard enough to cope with life if everything hurts, let alone new people and routines etc.