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  1. #11
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    I always wanted a large family, but never had a number said out loud iykwim. I ended up with 7 wouldn't change it for the world, they are my world

    My marriage crumbled, but that had absolutely nothing to do with the kids though

  2. #12
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    God yes, someone mentioned the noise,
    With my kids aged between 19 & 2 there is sooooo much noise, hahaha

  3. #13
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    I always wanted 4 or 5, DH always said 3.
    Our first was 9 weeks prem, the second and third pregnancies were awful so we decided to stop at 3... Until he was 10 months old and we were discussing getting tubes tied.

    I wasn't ready to not ever have the chance to be pregnant again and wanted to try for 6-7 months and if nothing happened we'd know we tried. DH agreed and 3 weeks later I was pregnant with our number 4, who is due in 4 weeks

    I hope I feel done after this one, it's amazing how quickly you forget when pregnancy isn't pleasant..

  4. #14
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    DH and I both had one child each when we met. After we had DD together we thought that was enough, but then went on to have two more boys (all planned) My youngest is nearly 6, and we both said 4 kids (5 when DH's DD is here) was enough, but then late last year decided to try for another which is due in 3 weeks!
    So our large family was not planned that way to begin with, but we just couldn't stop lol.
    I love it and wouldn't have it any other way, but yes, it is a noisy household!

  5. #15
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    How would you 'change' DH's mind? We have DD and I'm loving it! She's such a miracle and we love her so much I just want to keep going! I would love to have a large family I'm already 30 so I think I would maybe be able to have 5 or 6 anyway hubby is not so keen he says 3 would be a stretch, I think he's thinking minivan... working till 70 yrs old and $$$ for holidays but to me all that's irrelevant when compared to bringing a life into this world! We're well of and I'm willing to go back to work when kids are at school so I'm not sure why he's not feeling it... In my mind I've decided that at no3 we would talk but I can't see myself deciding to stop... Anyone had the same where hubby didn't want a big family but changed his mind? I've been praying about it and hoping he does!
    Sorry I crashed this thread... :-) could use some goodwibes

  6. #16
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    I had to work on dh with each one after number 2! He would have been happy with 2! Alot of pleading and prayer

  7. #17
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    We didn't plan the first two, we both decided we wanted a third but I got preg a lot sooner than planned, and no. 4 I begged for, he never really agreed but I was very very clear that I wanted a fourth and was not using contraception, so he knew it was gonna happen sooner or later. I promised if he gave me a fourth i wouldn't ask for a fifth no matter now much I wanted one. Luckily I got a bonus child (the second twin)! It was a pretty big issue for us though because I do badly wanted a fourth after such a beautiful experience with the third but he really felt done.

  8. #18
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    It's heart wrenching when one partner desperately wants another child and the other doesn't it can totally consume you

  9. #19
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Yep. Totally planned our large family.

    Didn't do things in the order we planned.... but we always wanted a large family.

    It started sooner than we planned... has completely different gender mix to what we 'planned' and finished sooner than we planned...

    But I wouldn't have it any other way.


    Do we cope easily.... not on your life, but you get better with practice and develop strategies.... you also develop survival mechanisms for those days it all goes to poo.

    It's crazy, noisy, messy, has many many conflicts, tiring, demanding, cramped, insanity causing...

    But completely awesome.

    But yeah, we always wanted a large family.... we didn't 'plan' each addition though, they were kind of random. But we didn't stop leaving it open for additions until we felt 'finished'.

    ETA: and my marriage is fantastic. DH is an absolute angel who just adores me and our kids. We made the decision once we had Oliver and Jordan for him to change careers (which he wanted to do for ages but was just waiting for his long service) so one we had them he went part-time at work and became a full time student...

    He had been out of school for a long time and didn't do too well... so he did a BA to build his confidence.
    Then he started his 'new career' pathway degree of business/law double degree.. which he always wanted to do, but never got around to doing once he left school.
    He's also doing a grad dip-ed this year, because we moved out of Bris a couple of years ago.. (so left his permanent-parttime job) and he figures he can pick up some sub-teaching work while he finishes his law/business degree.

    So basically, I've been blessed enough to have him home the majority of the time the kids are little... he'll finish his course the year Lysander starts school...

    We planned it that way so he's been able to enjoy the little kids/be there for them/co-parent our large family while they are all at home and little.

    And we've got the boys in kindy 3 days (so he has quiet study days).. which is lovely, as we get three days a week together, just us, with no kids... which we need to stay connected and focused.
    Last edited by OJandMe; 25-08-2012 at 22:00.

  10. #20
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    Default Was your large family planned?

    I try not to talk about it too much, honestly it's not worth arguing right now, I don't know how I will feel or how he might, plus nothing is ever sure or planned with pregnancy and babies but I am silently hoping for a big family and I told him, if anyone asks I will say I would love lots.
    So pleading works!!!


 

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