You are NOT over-reacting, if anything I think many of us feel you might be under-reacting.
As a PP said, it's not about him, it's about you an the new baby. I was in a room of 7 women for 2 nights when I had DS. New mummies need rest and respect for their needs.
A good, nice, helpful, considerate man would discuss plans on who would look after your DD whilst you were in labour (assuming you would like him with you), if need be he would leave you in labour with the midwives to look after her. He would then respect any and all wishes of you and the midwives to optimise your care. When my DD was born I had a major hemorrhage. When I had the first home visit from my midwife she looked at me and said "your job is to feed the baby and sleep", looked at DF and said "your job is to do everything else including nappy changes" as there was still a chance I might faint so I shouldn't have been walking around with the baby. There was no issue with DF, he just did it because he loves me and wanted to do what was best for his family. That's what a good man does.
Please stay with us OP and post, it sounds like you need all the support you can get right now and this is a great place.
I'd be getting out of the situation NOW
It sounds to me like he's too young to start having kids. Too late I know but he obviously hasn't grown up yet and probably hasn't thought about the meaning of being with someone who already has a child.
If he's refusing to include your dd as part of his family than I think you need to have a long think about that. I feel for you
I can understand his aggression to a point (not of punching out nurses and doctors - they didn't come up with the visiting hours thing). But I can't imagine having a child and than only being able to see it for a couple of hours every day in hospital. That'd make me really angry too. It is just as important for the father to bond with his child as it is for the mother.
You can go to the cafe and things with him though.. the visiting hours would only apply to being in the actual room. But if he is aggressive like this normally I'd seriously consider leaving him
Last edited by Renesme; 25-08-2012 at 08:52.
I'm also having bubs at Sunshine and I too was saddened by the fact that my DP couldnt stay with me overnight if I was in a shared room. The midwife I spoke to was very lovely and said that my DP could come in from morning till night if I was in a shared room. He wasnt very impressed that he couldnt stay overnight but understands that the hospital has very limited single rooms and the hospital has to draw the line somewhere.
I'm sure your DP will calm down and especially once bubs is born he'll be more focused on you both rather than the sleeping arrangements x
Tbh i don't get the over night thing, where i am from it is just what happens, dads are allowed to be there outside of visiting hours (except rest time) but not stay over night, the hospital only has single beds
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