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  1. #1
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    Default Would this bother you?

    DS1 hasn't generally been a very social kid with children his own age and has only recently started getting more interested in developing friendships (he's four). He sees my friends kids regularly but hasn't really 'clicked' with anyone. Until today.

    I was introduced to another mum through a mutual friend and she has a little boy a year older than DS1. They hit it off BIG TIME and played solidly for two hours. It was absolutely wonderful seeing him so happy playing with another kid and they left best of friends.

    But here's the issue. His new friends Mum doesn't believe in discipline. At all. She's open about this. During the catch up her five year old was jumping on the top of her car, washing his dirty hands in her drink (not fingers, entire hands), telling me my baby smelt like cr*p (he had a dirty nappy which I was changing, so true, but I would have thought 'poo' would have been nicer for that age. I just responded gently. 'He does smell a bit like poo doesn't he? I'm getting him changed now.'), calling out nasty names to us as we were talking, throwing rocks at DS1 and spitting at us. She also mentioned that she once didn't bathe him for a month because he didn't want her to.

    Now he is a nice kid, and she's is a nice person, but DS has his own share of challenging four year old behaviours at the moment which we're working on and some days are full on. I insist that he uses his manners, listens when spoken to and is gentle and kind. He's prone to having feral days too at the moment so me being consistent is really important.

    I guess I'm concerned that DS1 is going to pick up a lot of bad habits from his new friend and fight against the good habits I'm trying to help him develop. But at the same time I'm so happy for him that he's clicked with someone I want to be supportive.

    If I go to the get togethers I'm thinking of the boys will see eachother a couple of times a week at least. Would it bother you if your child's new best friend was being raised so differently to how you're raising your own child? Or would you ignore it and just be consistent with how *he* should act and not worry about the other boy?

  2. #2
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    yeah, it would worry me...a lot!

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    kriista  (24-08-2012)

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    I wouldn't worry about the other little boys behaviour. he might see him a few times a week for a few hours but he will be with you a lot longer. There are always going to be children that your child interacts with that are brought up a lot differently so i wouldn't let it worry you just be consistent with what you do and i think you'll be fine. maybe if you son started behaving badly or copying the other child then you could limit the time they spend together but i wouldn't otherwise

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    Default Re: Would this bother you?

    I'd suggest she became a member on BH....there's been a severe lack of entertainment lately and she sounds like Disneyland

    In all seriousness though, what a little sh*t! There's no way my kids would be allowed to play with someone like that, especially when the parents are so lax. There's supporting your child's friendships and then theres grabbing at desperate straws. I'm sure your son is a lovely child who will make solid friendships soon, my Ds2 is 4.5 and his concept of friend only extends to who he played with a preschool that day and then the next day he's no longer such and such's friend... boys!

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    Happy2be3  (24-08-2012),jennibear  (25-08-2012),kriista  (24-08-2012)

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkplease3 View Post
    I'd suggest she became a member on BH....there's been a severe lack of entertainment lately and she sounds like Disneyland
    That cracked me up! Quite right

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    River Song  (24-08-2012)

  9. #6
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    I wouldn't let my child spend to much time with a child like that.

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    Default Would this bother you?

    We have this issue with DDs best friends. They are a lot rougher than she is, and they swear a bit too (they're all 3).
    I was worried that their behaviours would rub off on DD but we just make sure she knows what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. We talk about the other kids behaviours and why I wouldn't like her to fight/ swear/ break things and she gets it

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    Default Would this bother you?

    Geez! That kid sounds full on and while it's easy to worry he will pick up the same behavior it's not likely. As long as when you are with him he understands right and wrong and doesn't try to copy the other child's behavior.

    We recently stopped inviting a friend over because her kids are out of control and it bothers me, my DS didnt ever pick up his behavior.

    Good luck!!

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    Default Would this bother you?

    With ds1 in primary school now there is no picking his friends. With some of his best friends I just cringe at what they do and yes ds1 does try to copy but at the end of they day he still knows what is right or wrong and how he should behave and we usually talk about the day and how he felt about Xs behavior. I will always say 'I didn't like it when he did this or that' what do you think and it's a great way of cementing the good behaviors.

    I can completely understand how it much suck having such a friend for your son but as he is having such a good time I personally would let him have his fun but then when the day is finished you can then talk about the good and then bad. It make a great learning experience!

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    Default Re: Would this bother you?

    Yes, it would bother me. I would avoid in all honesty.

    Think back to school years... What is most influential in child years? Peers! I therefore would want my son to be hanging out with peers who I felt had the same morals and discipline upbringing

    ***Sent from my phone***

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