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    Default Just needing some help/support vs PND

    Something I saw on FB got me thinking...

    Where do you draw the line... If a mum admits she isn't coping and asks for help or support, does that immediately mean she has PND?

    Are mums scared to ask for help for fear of being labelled?

    Where IS that line?

    I have my own thoughts on this and know this topic could get real interesting real fast, but...

    Your thoughts...

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    No I don't think a mother struggling means she has PND, but it is certainly a warning sign. I think it is more common than we realise because I know as a mother I was terrified of what people would htink of me if I shared what I was truly feeling about my child.

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    Default Just needing some help/support vs PND

    Agree with theophania.

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    Default Just needing some help/support vs PND

    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    No I don't think a mother struggling means she has PND, but it is certainly a warning sign. I think it is more common than we realise because I know as a mother I was terrified of what people would htink of me if I shared what I was truly feeling about my child.
    You have done a much better job at explaining it then me, thank you. :-). This is exactly what I'm meaning.

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    Theophania  (24-08-2012)

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    Default Just needing some help/support vs PND

    My bub was born with reflux. We barely slept. For months. He was a hard task and undiagnosed. I couldn't understand how I couldn't seem to function when everyone else did. If I wasnt too proud I would have asked for help. (I've learned differently over time). I was miserable and exhausted. I had symptoms like depression and when my OB asked if I felt I was depressed, I said I wasn't because I knew I was just severely sleep deprived. Nothing messes with the mind like a lack of sleep.

    Point being, asking for help doesn't equal PND. There are so many things which go on behind the scenes when it comes to raising children and family support and partners and medical conditions and finances etc. etc. I salute the parent who raises their hand. I wish I had done that in the first instance. :-)

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    Default Re: Just needing some help/support vs PND

    Subbing so I can comment later.

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    Default Just needing some help/support vs PND

    Quote Originally Posted by Nettle View Post
    My bub was born with reflux. We barely slept. For months. He was a hard task and undiagnosed. I couldn't understand how I couldn't seem to function when everyone else did. If I wasnt too proud I would have asked for help. (I've learned differently over time). I was miserable and exhausted. I had symptoms like depression and when my OB asked if I felt I was depressed, I said I wasn't because I knew I was just severely sleep deprived. Nothing messes with the mind like a lack of sleep.

    Point being, asking for help doesn't equal PND. There are so many things which go on behind the scenes when it comes to raising children and family support and partners and medical conditions and finances etc. etc. I salute the parent who raises their hand. I wish I had done that in the first instance. :-)
    My DD2 had reflux too, she has just turned 1 and we've had a hell of a year. Sleep deprivation is torture.... After a very traumatic day for both my girls and I, I went to the GP who referred me to a psychologist. We have finished my assessment and she is happy that there is nothing ringing alarm bells and there is no clinical Dx - yay!

    We have no family support/help and it's hard for me to trust other people with my kids, but what has come from the psych sessions is that I do need to ask for the help and take time for me.

    I also believe that asking for help and PND are completely individual and separate however do also agree that not coping *may* be a PND sign too.

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    Default Re: Just needing some help/support vs PND

    Ok so now that the small things are in bed...

    I have recently been diagnosed with pnd. For what it's worth, It is not pnd. Yes, I have just been diagnosed with depression after having my second baby 5 months ago.

    I have never been willing to admit it, or really acknowledged it. I have been depressed for a long time. I know where it has come from. I had a horrible childhood and teenage-hood. (?) It's a whole other story/thread though.

    The only reason I have been dx with pnd, is because I have a baby. (Bit unfair) It's not that I'm not coping with my kids. I'm no longer able to ignore or push down the feelings I have from a lifetime of being put down, let down and beat down.

    Anyway, the biggest reason It has taken me so long to do anything about it is because I didn't want to be "labelled" as a pnd sufferer. As much as we try or people think it's no big deal these days, there is still a stigma attached to it. Had I done something about it before I had kids, it wouldn't have been as hard to seek help IMO.

    So many women are scared to ask for help for fear of being told they have pnd. I don't want people thinking that my depression is because of my kids or not being able to cope as a sahm.

    Anyway, I think I side tracked a little. But I think it is very hard as a mum to admit you need help, be it due to just having a rough time with sleep deprivation/adjusting or anything because there will always be an immediate response of "oh you must have pnd".

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    Default Re: Just needing some help/support vs PND

    I look at it a little differently. I didn't want to ask for help because I wanted to fix it by myself. I accepted the PND label only because it opened up avenues of help when I realised I couldn't do it by myself. I still question if it was/is PND, or if I was simply just worn out from two difficult babies and no support. I totally agree with PP who said the only reason PND was diagnosed was because of baby (sorry PP, I'm on phone and can't easily check your username).

    I dunno, I just have a problem with that while "fear of being labelled" thing. What's wrong with a label? What's wrong with having PND? I'm not ashamed. I think some of the people who reacted negatively to me when i was clearly distressed should be ashamed of themselves.

    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**
    Last edited by Gothel; 24-08-2012 at 23:10.

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    i have started my own support playgroup- www.twobeautifulworldscollide.com


 

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