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    Default How can i get my DS to stop this behavior?

    Well my DS is a very aggressive thing. One thing is he always acts aggressive to toys at home, like literally just smashing these toys around. I want him to stop this, and well I don't know how to go about it, I try and tell him to stop, etc but it doesn't work. I worry about him at childcare as well, he always tells kids to stop what there doing, like there playing together, crawling on the playground and he stands in front of them and just telling them to stop. There is not enough carers etc to always watch him. No one even notices when his doing something wrong. He also randomly hurts other kids, he just grabs there hands and like gouge's them. I worry that since no one there address's these problems he continues at home with his sister. No one there takes me seriously, I can talk myself black and blue and still nothing. And got told its best to leave him there as he tends to regress when he is faced with change, like change in his routine, places he is use to going to. Plus the next thing he does is only at home, maybe cuz he can freely get naked at home, but he is ALWAYS touching himself(his genitals). Like all the time. I know its normal to explore touch etc, but it seems like its too much. Plus his forever sticking his fingers near his *** and scratching all the time. How can I try and resolve some of these issues. Its really doing my head in lately, and any advice would be much appreciated.

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    Default Re: How can i get my DS to stop this behavior?

    How old is he? I found my son went through an aggressive stage from 2.5 to 3.

    Re genitals and bottom, would wearing undies distract him? My son is naked a lot but tends to ignore his nether regions, so I haven't had to tackle that issue.

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    Default Re: How can i get my DS to stop this behavior?

    It might be worth talking to the child health centre about it. They can sometimes give useful advice and referrals.

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    Default How can i get my DS to stop this behavior?

    Firstly it has to be enforced at home, it's not the responsibilty of child carers to give discipline when a child is aggressive, he needs to learn from you to respect others. Not saying that is your fault , boys are terror tots!!! I have 3 so I know ;-)
    My son who is now 6.5 wasn't so much a bully but being a stocky child always seemed to bowl kids over, he was also touchy so would grab kids to play and being a big kid he always seemed to tug to hard or side bump to hard. I had to teach him how to interract appropriately with other children and this started with his interaction with his dad. He mimicked the play with dad to his play with children which was inappropriate.
    Once he started kinder he had mellowed out and now at 6.5 he is a beautiful soul with friends all over the school ground, sweet as a pie with others but still at home a crazy rough little ratbag with his brothers.
    It has to be acted upon as soon as it happens and not once let it slide. It's a process and you will get there.
    As for genitals !! Ikky my 4.5 year old used to play with his so much he kept getting infections on his doodle to the point where we were considering late circumcision , we told him that the doctor will have to chop it off if he keeps playing with it because he is breaking it! Haha he hadn't had an infection since and we use the doctor and police threat so he will eat his dinner ;-)
    Make sure to bathe him in a salt bath now and then to keep his genitals clean, your biggest problem is infection with children.
    It's nothing perverted on their part, you know boys they just have to touch everything weather it's attached to them or on the highest shelf in the house! If they know it's their they will find a way to just touch it ;-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by MsMummy View Post
    How old is he? I found my son went through an aggressive stage from 2.5 to 3.

    Re genitals and bottom, would wearing undies distract him? My son is naked a lot but tends to ignore his nether regions, so I haven't had to tackle that issue.
    He is 4. He went through a stage of being ok. But since going to daycare his aggressiveness has gone up. He use to be so placid and content around other children.

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    I'd ask the daycare if there are any other children there exhibiting that kind of behavior. My DS has only just started daycare and he's now started baring his teeth and growling when he's angry.
    He never ever did anything like that at home so my guess is that he learnt it from one of the kids there.
    I spoke to the daycare and asked them, and they said that there is one little boy who does that and that they're now working on 'nicer' ways of showing anger because he's teaching the other kids to be overly aggressive. I wasn't angry about it, I just asked casually and nicely and found out that they're already working to stop it from spreading and trying to work on other behavioral responses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly8329 View Post
    Firstly it has to be enforced at home, it's not the responsibilty of child carers to give discipline when a child is aggressive, he needs to learn from you to respect others. Not saying that is your fault , boys are terror tots!!! I have 3 so I know ;-)
    My son who is now 6.5 wasn't so much a bully but being a stocky child always seemed to bowl kids over, he was also touchy so would grab kids to play and being a big kid he always seemed to tug to hard or side bump to hard. I had to teach him how to interract appropriately with other children and this started with his interaction with his dad. He mimicked the play with dad to his play with children which was inappropriate.
    Once he started kinder he had mellowed out and now at 6.5 he is a beautiful soul with friends all over the school ground, sweet as a pie with others but still at home a crazy rough little ratbag with his brothers.
    It has to be acted upon as soon as it happens and not once let it slide. It's a process and you will get there.
    As for genitals !! Ikky my 4.5 year old used to play with his so much he kept getting infections on his doodle to the point where we were considering late circumcision , we told him that the doctor will have to chop it off if he keeps playing with it because he is breaking it! Haha he hadn't had an infection since and we use the doctor and police threat so he will eat his dinner ;-)
    Make sure to bathe him in a salt bath now and then to keep his genitals clean, your biggest problem is infection with children.
    It's nothing perverted on their part, you know boys they just have to touch everything weather it's attached to them or on the highest shelf in the house! If they know it's their they will find a way to just touch it ;-)
    It it enforced at home, ALOT. But they don't even tell him when his naughty, half the time they have just one carer watching a whole playground of children. He also goes to Kindy 2 days a week, which is absolutely great for him. But we try everything to get him out of this behavior and nothing works. I just expect the daycare centre to tell children when there being naughty etc so they learn the right way to act when around children. We cant really use any verbal threats towards genital playing as he doesn't talk and probably wouldn't understand. Telling him not to as much or just anything doesn't work. My DP bathes him in Epsom salt, as his also developing a rash on his bottom, which seems to be disappearing now thanks to the baths.

    Mind you this centre has never really been the most cooperative with much, they dont even use signs that he uses that he learnt from Kindy and uses on a daily basis(they say he doesn't need them). His been there since April, and only recently have they finished all the forms needed for an Inclusion support person. Im just mainly upset about the aggressive behavior, we really try, but if not all services that his involved with(Kindy, and daycare), then he wont fully get out of it, thats how my son works.

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    Default Re: How can i get my DS to stop this behavior?

    Re not talking much at 4, have you had him assessed?

    It may be all these behaviours are indicative of something else, and some specific advice and treatment may help.

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    Default Re: How can i get my DS to stop this behavior?

    I just re read your last post, maybe a different centre? It doesn't sound like they are accomodating to his needs. My son had a lot of issues with daycare; it's hard to know what to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MsMummy View Post
    Re not talking much at 4, have you had him assessed?

    It may be all these behaviours are indicative of something else, and some specific advice and treatment may help.
    His been assessed and diagnosed and as of recently has started speech therapy appointments. And his Kindy teachers are sure it will really help him to get him to start talking.


 

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