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  1. #11
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    Default Living with a drug addict *TRIGGER WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT*

    Huge hugs omg, it's so hard

    If he won't go to NA and or rehab just yet i would suggest you get involved with a nar-anon group or al- anon if there isn't a nar-anon near you. You will be able to connect with other family members of addicts.

    I haven't been on your side of the fence but I've been the addict and I can relate to the absolute lack of self worth and love. You're right, nobody aspires to grow up to be an addict, there's always a reason.

    I don't know what else to suggest, massive hugs xoxo
    Last edited by Ffrenchknickers; 24-08-2012 at 09:45.

  2. #12
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    Im so sorry you are going through this...i can imagine how hard it must be.
    I thinnk the first thing you need to consiser is so form of rehab, where is is institutionalised for a period of time. Herion is not one of those drugs you can just stop...you need professional help. Please seriously consider a rehab facility!!
    The second thing is, think about your baby. I wouldnt be leaving a baby alone with him until he gets clean.
    Good luck.

  3. #13
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    I am so sorry to hear of this. My heart breaks for anyone who has to go through this. We recently found out that my brother is addicted to Ice - he lives at home with my parents still - so my mum felt like she was enabling him (my mum is an absolute mess - so I know how you would be feeling).
    We all (my immediate family) had an "intervention" and used strong language like WE WILL NOT let this continue, we want you to be healthy etc... he committed to trying rehab as an outpatient... all went well for the first 3-4 weeks - then something triggered a relapse and then he used even more. At this point - I feel there is nothing that a family member can say or do that will turn them around.

    My parents did not want this to continue - they took him to Narcanon - a rehab centre in Warburton. They are fantastic (albeit expensive... but what price do you put on someones life?)
    For the first 6 weeks he fought against being in there saying he wasn't addicted and he could do it on the outside - he has a long term GF who had a MC this year but we all know they were both on Ice at the time... after 9 weeks he has finally realised he needs to be there and is now committed to his recovery and looks and speaks like a different person - his counsellors are fantastic. There are people in there from all walks of like, mothers with 3 children who are alcoholics, fathers who are herion addicts, people aged from 19 to 45 are in there.

    If you would like more info please feel free to PM me.

    It is definitely not an easy road that you are on - but I do hope that things get better for you and he gets well and stays well. Many coming your way x

  4. #14
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    Thank you all.

    Something else I have to add and need to know: Can taking Panadeine with Codeine in it cause the pupils to constrict like actual heroin does? They are both a form of opiate and DP has also become addicted to these over the counter painkillers- ofcourse, he says he isn't addicted, that he takes them for constant migrains. Anyway, he will easily take a full tab in one go, as in 12 tablets.. they have a 15mg level of Codeine in each pill. So when he comes home with "pinned" eyes, he says it's from the codeine and vehemently denies any heroin use. I know he's lying. But he so strongly denies it it makes me question it, as crazy as that sounds!
    But wondering, is there a chance that the pills are causing the same symptoms as heroin would??? The pinned eyes etc.

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    Default Re: Living with a drug addict *TRIGGER WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT*

    I understand you probably feel like you can't leave because he could or would hurt himself.

    But, as to quote Dr Phil.... Your responsibilities are to your kids first and foremost.

    ***Sent from my phone***

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    Default Re: Living with a drug addict *TRIGGER WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT*

    Yes I think it could be possible. It is an opiate..however If your gut is telling you he is making excuses, your probably right in this case..the fact that he is using so much codeine just says to me that he feels it is okay to switch from one habit to another.. :/ one he thinks might be considered more acceptable.. he really does need proffessional help. Unless you are a drug addiction counsellor or nurse you can't help him. I'm so sorry you are going through this. If you do leave, tell him. Then contact your nearest mental health facility and tell them he has threatened to kill himself.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

  7. #17
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    Default Living with a drug addict *TRIGGER WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT*

    Quote Originally Posted by endofmyrope View Post
    Thank you all.

    Something else I have to add and need to know: Can taking Panadeine with Codeine in it cause the pupils to constrict like actual heroin does? They are both a form of opiate and DP has also become addicted to these over the counter painkillers- ofcourse, he says he isn't addicted, that he takes them for constant migrains. Anyway, he will easily take a full tab in one go, as in 12 tablets.. they have a 15mg level of Codeine in each pill. So when he comes home with "pinned" eyes, he says it's from the codeine and vehemently denies any heroin use. I know he's lying. But he so strongly denies it it makes me question it, as crazy as that sounds!
    But wondering, is there a chance that the pills are causing the same symptoms as heroin would??? The pinned eyes etc.
    Yea they do. Codeine, heroin, morphine, opium all come from he same place.

    Does he inject heroin when he uses? Does he have new track marks?
    Last edited by Ffrenchknickers; 24-08-2012 at 11:25.

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  9. #18
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    Default Re: Living with a drug addict *TRIGGER WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT*

    Write him a letter saying how much it hurts you how much it upsets you how you dont want the kids effected by this and pretty much give him the ultimatem. Quit it or lose you and his kids. In a previous relationship i had it sounds like your relationship now but no kids involved. I wrote him a 6 page letter telling him how much it hurts to see that certain look in those eyes. At the end i wrote " give up the drugs or dig your grave because with me u have life with those drugs you wont have me and you will die" "im here to help you get off drugs and live life but if you choose drugs over our future i will simply be out of your life for good and wont attend your funeral" it hit him like a tonne of bricks and he finnished of the rest that he had and then smashed all his needles and in his high state wrote a letter saying good bye to the drugs then burnt it and never done any since that night.

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    As my name suggests, I am just at the end of my rope. I have tried absolutely EVERYTHING to help him- we've been through drug counselling, I've dragged him to the doctors countless times. I've called his sister for help. I've actually physically found myself clinging onto his clothes when he's tried to leave and I know where he's headed. I've wrote him letters. even made him big inspirational posters with positive quoates and pics of our family and stuck them up around the house for him. He goes a few days, maybe a week without it. He strongly denies that he has used since late in my pregnancy.. his words "it's the furtherest thing from my mind, I'm done with that sh!t, not a chance in HELL I'm going back to that, I don't even have any numbers in my phone anymore, have deleted the dealer."
    I am so mixed. I want to believe him, but like I said, his eyes tell a different story and he says that's because of the codeine. But addicts lie! They manipulate and cheat and steal and deceive.
    As for rehab, he has said he wanted to go the last time he confessed to me about using (every few months he will sit me down and say, "I fu.cked up again." So, again, I take him to our GP, we get him Valium to detox, he gives me his bank card and wallet and we try. But after around 2 weeks he starts resenting me "controlling" the money. He insists that he's fine and demands his bank card back and eventuslly the whole thing repeats... over and over and over.)
    The thing is, I tell him all the time, the worst part of all is the lying.. if he would tell me it's like a weight lifts and we can move forward with getting him clean again. It's so effing exhausting.
    My heart is absolutely broken. If he is back on the sh!t, even now after our perfect baby has arrived, I don't know how to cope with it...
    The thing is, the last time he called me saying he had done it (from his car, he had just used and decided to inform me) I told him not to come home this time. Well, he satyed out for 6 hours and finally came back, he said he was about to jump off a bridge, thinking he had lost his family.. he said if not for me texting and ringing him over and over that night telling him to come home, he would be dead, so he says.

    Frenchknickers, yes, he does inject. he used to burn it but as they do, he moved on to the needle. I don't look at his track marks, he does show me the old ones and says "look, see, these are old.." but he has even injected in his thigh before so I'd have to trace his entire body and it absolutely sickens and hurts so deeply for me to do it.
    As long as he is denying it, I can't help him and I am so utterly lost.
    Last edited by endofmyrope; 24-08-2012 at 15:12.

  11. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by endofmyrope View Post
    I am so mixed. I want to believe him, but like I said, his eyes tell a different story and he says that's because of the codeine. But addicts lie! They manipulate and cheat and steal and deceive.
    I hate to tell you this, but codeine is also very addictive. Many users will use it as a stop gap when they can't get hold of what they usually take. 12 tablets in one go is VERY dangerous, that stuff eats away at your internals and does horrible things.
    It sounds like he's either also addicted to codeine, or he's using it as a crutch. Either way it's just as destructive and dangerous to his body as heroin. His eyes not dilating properly probably could be a symptom from large amounts of codeine... But it's just as bad as him taking heroin.

    He clearly doesn't think codeine addiction is a 'thing' if he's willing to use the amount that he's taking as an excuse to cover up an heroin addiction. The simple fact of the matter is that he's still an addict no matter whether it's injected or tablets. That's why it's getting harder and harder to get codeine these days. People have finally cottoned on to what users are doing with it.

    I can't offer any suggestions, one of my husbands friends was in almost exactly the same situation when his first daughter was born. Was given an implant that's supposed to stop the effects, his wife sent him to rehab several times... Nothing seemed to work. And then one day the light just seemed to come on by itself and he stopped using. His wife threatened to leave and take their daughter because she didn't want dealers coming to their house and threatening their child. I guess that's probably a big part of what helped. She made it about his daughter rather than herself or himself.
    I know that's no comfort when you can't see that happening for yourself but it can happen. I hope you can find some real help soon, it sounds like you love him very much and you just can't deal with his behaviour anymore. Totally understandable!


 

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